Complicated.com

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
9) Everyone who has just read no.5 has just typed it into a calculator.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
1 The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
2 No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

"My country send me to United States to make movie-film. Please, come and see my film. If it not success, I will be execute."

"I arrived in America's airport with clothings, U.S dollars and a jar of gypsy tears to protect me from AIDS."

“We in Kazakhstan very much admire your mighty warlord George Walter Bush. He is a very wise man and also a strong man. But, perhaps not as strong as his father Barbara."

Driving Instructor: "In America, a woman can choose who she has sex with."
Borat: "Whaaaaat???"

"This is Orkin, the town rapist! Naughty, naughty!"

"This is Natalya. She is my sister. She is number-four prostitute in whole of Kazakhstan."

"I make sexytime with my mother in-law."

"Give me your tears, Gypsy, or I will take them from you."

"I will look through your treasures, gypsy. Is this understood?"

"Is it not a problem that the woman have a smaller brain? The government scientist has proved it is size of squirrel"

"You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?"

"I feel like American movie star Dirty Harold... Go ahead, make my day, Jew..."

"When I buy my wife, at the start she was good, her vajin work well and she strong on plow. But after three years when she was 15, she become weak, her voice get deep like [in a deep raspy voice] 'BORAT, BORAT', she receive hair on her chest, and her vajin hang like the sleeve of wizard."

(Thinking while listening to a feminist talking): "I could not concentrate on what this old man was saying. All I can think of of that beautiful woman in her red water panties. Who was this CJ?"

"Pamela! I no find you attractive anymore! ... Not!"

"Sometime my sister, she show her vazhïn to my brother Bilo and say "You will never get this you will never get it la la la la la la." He behind his cage. He cries, he cries and everybody laughs. She goes "You never get this." But one time he break cage and he "get this" and then we all laugh. High five! "