new episodes of the simpsons

sunday night 6:30

on SKY ONE

channel 106

only on Sky one

……………………………………/””~,
…………………………………../::::
………………………………..,-”””¯””-,
…………………………….,~”……….\
…………………………,~”…………,..\
………………………,-“………….....|..|
……………………,-“………………..|..|
…………………,-“…………………..|..|
……………….,-“……………………/..|
………………/……………………..’...|
……………../………………………...|
……………./…………………..,„_„...|
……………/…………………,-,-~-,-~’,
…………../……………….,-“ ( . . o)_º)
…………./………………./ . . .“-~“ . . ¯¯¯¯¯””~-,
…………|………………..| . . . . . . . . . . . . . ,-~“~,
…………|…………….....| . . . . . . . . . . . . . /:::::::\
…………|…………….....| . . . . . . . . . . . . . |::::::::l
…………|………………..\ . . . ._ . . . . . . . . “-,„„„-”
………....|………………..”-, . .(..”~,------------~”
………….|._………………..”~,..”~-‘---,………………,--~~-,
……….,~” . ¯”~,……………….¯”~~-”,-\………….,-“-,”~, . .”-,
…….,-“….,~”,-~”\…..-‘.,„„„………………”-,……….| . . “-, ”-, . |
……..\,,-“,~”……/…..,-“ . .”-,…………..’-,.”-,……..) . . . .”-,,-“
……….’-,……..(,--,.,-“ . . . . |…………….”-,”-,,(“-~”-,””~~~”
………….¯”””¯,-“, .), . . . . ,-“……………….”-,\,.”..,-“
……………….’-, .”.,“-,_„„~”……………………”.”-,”
………………….”~”-,.\,…,--~~~-,………………,~’,
……………………….¯”~/ . . . . . .)……………,”-~’,
……………………......./ . . . . . . |--„„„„„„--,~””¯ .¯.)
……………………….,-“ . . . . . .,-“………/ . . . . . . , .)
………………………( . . . . . ,. . , “)……”-, . . . . .) ,’-“
………………………..”~-,„_ . .)_,|-“……….¯

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo. Four-day weekend.

Homer: [drunk] Look, the thing about my family is there's five of us. Marge, Bart, Girl Bart, the one who doesn't talk, and the fat guy. How I loathe him.

Homer: Aw, twenty dollars! I wanted a peanut!
Homer's Brain: Twenty dollars can buy many peanuts!
Homer: Explain how!
Homer's Brain: Money can be exchanged for goods and services!
Homer: Woo-hoo!

Scully: Homer, we're going to ask you a few simple yes or no questions. Do you understand?
Homer: Yes. (lie dectector blows up)

Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.

Homer:You'll have to speak up im wearing a towel!!

Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Homer: Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals ... except the weasel.

Homer: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked! I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked!
Marge: HOMER!
Homer: I gotta go Moe my damn weiner kids are listening.

Ralph: That's my swingset, and that's my sandbox. I'm not allowed to go in the deep end. And this is where I met the leprechaun.
Bart: Right, the leprechaun.
Ralph: He told me to burn things.

Lionel Hutz: Well, he's kind of had it in for me ever since I accidentally ran over his dog. Actually, replace "accidentally" with "repeatedly," and replace "dog" with "son."

Homer: Lisa, would you like a donut?
Lisa: No thanks. Do you have any fruit?
Homer: This has purple in it. Purple is a fruit.

Ralph: Me fail English? That's unpossible.

Homer: How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home winemaking course, and I forgot how to drive?

Homer (sung to the Flintstones song): Simpson! Homer Simpson! He's the greatest guy in history. From the, Town of Springfield! He's about to hit a chestnut tree! hits tree

Marge: Homer, is this how you pictured married life?
Homer: Yeah, pretty much, except we drove around in a van solving mysteries.

Homer: Here's to alcohol, the cause of—and solution to—all life's problems.

Homer: I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me Superman.

Homer: [Looking at a globe map...country being Uruguay]
Hee hee! Look at this country! 'You are gay.'

Homer: Lisa, Vampires are make-believe, like elves, gremlins, and eskimos.

Grandpa: Dear Mr. President, There are too many states nowadays. Please eliminate three.
P.S. I am not a crackpot.

Homer: Okay Marge, its your child against my child. The winner will be showered with praise. The loser will be taunted and booed until my throat is sore.

Burns: I suggest you leave immediately
Homer: Or what? You'll release the dogs or the bees? Or the dogs with bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?

Wife: Now Cletus, why did ya haf to park next to my parents?
Cletus: Now, Now, Hun, they're my parents too...

Barney: Hello, my name is Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scouts meeting.
Barney: Is it, or is it you girls can't admit that you have a problem?

Homer: Homer no function beer well without.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to speed around a city, keeping its speed over fifty and if its speed dropped, it would explode! I think it was called ... "The Bus That Couldnt Slow Down."

------------