If you said anyone apart from 'Danny', go die in a hole. Unless you're Viki. If you are (and I'm sure many of you are) then go eat a biscuit. One that's been dipped in cynaide and coated in sharp razor blades and rabid dogs. And this is why McVites will never hire me.
Anyway, I've been off for a couple of weeks and I'm sure you've all missed me incredibly, so feel free to throw yourselves down in awe now that I've graced you with my divine presence once again. Yes, I'm comparing myself to God. So what? What's He going to do about it?
On a side note... woo! No more maths! The only way to truly celebrate is to batter all the mathematics I've picked up over the last 11 years out of my head. So if I come in for an exam with a nasty bruise on my forehead and an inability to count, you'll know why. Join me in this. Unless you're doing maths at college. In which case just know that you have my utter contempt and that I sneer at you. That's right, even I'm sneering at you. Hang your head in shame. Unless you're Viki. In which case go eat a biscuit.

Dear Jenny,
Contrary to popular belief, I do not have cheese fetish. I happen to grate a lot of cheese. So what. I'm sure you own a lot of shoes. Do you have a shoe fetish? I'm sure/I hope you shower a lot. Do you have a shower fetish? No. Not as far as I know anyway. Nathan, if you ever read this, let me know. Anyway, in short, you're a filthy liar and it's because of people like you Hitler got into power.
Best regards,
Danny
P.S. Danny is awesome!
P.P.S. OWNED!

Ah! I have 13 love! Quick, someone give me some more so I can be lucky again!