1. Full Name: Mowgli "Shane" Fitzgerald
2. Nicknames: Pervert, The Dude, His Dudeness, Pervert
3. Birthday: 1988, on the same date Oscar Wilde was convicted of sodomy... no connection
4. Place of Birth: Forest, Ballybough, Artane, Ringsend, Rotunda. Each as plausible as the last.
5. Zodiac Sign: Sex Panther, Yield: Right of Way
6. Male or Female: Male, proud member of the penis carrying community. But! With great power comes great responsibility. I have yet to meet a woman with even a basic understanding of men, frustrating enough
7. Year: I know less than 1 year old babies with fatheads, covered in druel with burnt feet from literally walkin on hot coals who can string together somethin smarter than that
8. School/College: Salesians? The school of hard knocks. Where if you were a female teacher, not morbidly obese, you were the sexiest woman that ever lived
9. Occupation: Professional Mess, Messer
10. Residence: I've lived in sheds and crack dens in my time, and i can't wait to move back out, once ye move out ye cant move back
11. MSN Screen Name: Dell Laptop Screens LTD

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Colour: Bland
13. Hair Length: Its as long as my dignity... got it cut a month ago and its already a burden again
14. Eye colour: Blue, could get lost in them for all the blankness behind them
16. Height: Not good with measurements. A mile?
17. Braces?: Not sure but i had somethin wired in there and it wasnt sky damn digital
18. Glasses?: No thanks i'm on a diet
19. Piercings: Can't do it, i'd end up callin it a piercey. Saying i got my ear pierceyd would be far too... odd
20. Tattoos: The plan is for a hand print on one or BOTH cheeks. Have one already on my left arm though
21. Righty or Lefty: I don't want to offend anyone (Topcat, Big Daddy) so i'll say neither while at the same time... both

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Rex and Rolo, pair of german shepherds down the farm. Made a good Christmas dinner that time.
23. First Award: The aul birth cert was a bit of a landmark
24. First Sport You Joined: Pint Hunting
25. First pet: Can't remember if Sharky and George was the name of my fish or McAuliffe's fish. Either way, had a two week free gaffathon years ago, they regularly drank me under the table, but they're dead and i'm not... now whos laughin'!
26. First Real Vacation: Went to Cork when i was 13, and once i saw a blimp
27. First Concert: The Strokes? Saw them again at Oxegen, passed out standing up, woke up on someone, knocked few people to ground, far away from where i fell asleep
28. First Crush: Still cant say, 10 years later lol

____Favourites___

29. Movies: The Erotic Misadventures of the Invisible Man (its an actual show ive seen it... eh... in the RTE Guide)
30. T.V Programme: Interweb has ruined telly routines! Fr Ted, Lost, Rescue Me, Black Books, Flight of the Conchords, American Dad, Reaper, My Name is Earl, Scrubs loads of great yokes out there
31. Colour: Dark-white
32. Artist: Good music, sesh music. Not self evidently shit music where taste or opinion doesnt even come into it. If it sounds like Simon Cowell could have made it and you like it then odds are you are an idiot. Griff being an example.
33. Band: Millions of 'em. I'm a rock'n'roll journalist in training, cant get enough i literally devour music. Ok well not literally.
34. Song Right Now: Bunch of feckin birds outside the window, THEYRE OFF-KEY! Hard to get used to the sound of nature after Lad Lane... get me a rock
35. Friends: Are actually mé féiners when push comes to shove. Except Topcat.
36. Sweets: Refreshers, vodka
37. Sport to Play: Teasing fat people
38. Restaurant: Saw one in Donnybrook that lets you bring in your own cans. What an age we live in! Its the future!
39. Favourite brand: Sac du Boit
40. Store: Those 24 hour places on Baggot St, once bought 2 packs of sandwiches for 1.50 combined!
41. School Subject: Lectured freshers in Guinnessology last year at 1 o'clock in

Hypnotist' thief hunted in Italy

Police in Italy have issued footage of a man who is suspected of hypnotising supermarket checkout staff to hand over money from their cash registers.

In every case, the last thing staff reportedly remember is the thief leaning over and saying: "Look into my eyes", before finding the till empty.

In the latest incident captured on CCTV, he targeted a bank at Ancona in northern Italy, then calmly walked out.

A female bank clerk reportedly handed over nearly 800 euros (£630).

The cashier who was shown the video footage has no memory of the incident, according to Italian media, and only realised what had happened when she saw the money missing.

CCTV from the bank showed her apparently being hypnotised by the man, according to the reports.

Italian police believe the suspect could be of Indian or North African extraction.

NZ man 'used hedgehog as weapon'

A man in New Zealand has been charged with using a hedgehog as a weapon, the New Zealand Herald has reported.

Police said William Singalargh, 27, had hurled the hedgehog about 5m (16ft) at a 15-year-old boy.

"It hit the victim in the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks," said Senior Sgt Bruce Jenkins, in the North Island town of Whakatane.

It was unclear whether the hedgehog was still alive when it was thrown, though it was dead when collected as evidence.

The police spokesman said the suspect was arrested "for assault with a weapon, namely the hedgehog."

Mr Singalargh is due to appear in court on 17 April. If convicted, he faces up to five years in prison.