I don't think I'm that organised or neat at all!!!! Not such a great quizz after all hey?

Am I the only one who hates setting goals? It’s much easier to not notice that I’m not really getting anywhere if I don’t look too far ahead.

There’s a proverb that states:

Man makes his plans but the Lord orders his steps.

I’d much prefer it to be:

The Lord makes the plans and man takes the steps.

That way I could just look down and focus on where to put my foot. It seems much less difficult. Much less overwhelming. If I have to think about how far I have to go and all the things I might have to do to get there I get discouraged. I doubt myself.

I remember when my husband and I were just barely ‘an item’ and he took me camping with a few friends to a place a little way inland of the NSW south coast (in Australia) called the Budawangs. Our first day of walking (with backpacks full of food, water, sleeping bags and a couple of clean pairs of undies) was up a hill called Kaliana Ridge (hope I’ve spelled that correctly). It was like a staircase built for giants. Each step hewn between rock and root, was about one and a half feet high on average. Now, after an hour of climbing this ‘stairway to heaven’ different members of the group began asking Peter, who was the leader with the map and compass, how much further we had to climb. His answer came back: “oh…about fifteen”. Fifteen what? Minutes? Miles? Metres? I don’t think I’ve ever climbed any mountain so difficult before or since (accept maybe childbirth…metaphorically speaking). After a while the only thing that kept me going was sheer stubbornness not to be left behind or labelled a wooss or a whinger. I’d forgotten about the top a long time before I got there! Who cares about the top? I just want this #(&^$%&! staircase to end! View? What friggin view?!!!??? Who gives a $!*$&#*!&???

The top.

I want to get to “the top”. “The Top” for me is probably different than for you.

For me “The Top” is:
• Performing in decent venues with a decent stage with a full house and great band, PA, lights, choreography, set, etc.
• Releasing several albums (sequentially will do).
• Achieving financially rewarding record sales (i.e. the albums actually make money)
• Being sought after as a singer, actress and producer/director
• Being interviewed for papers, magazines, radio and TV
• Exploring other areas of my creativity with good result
I know…I’m not asking for much.

Right now, I’m in the “I just want this friggin staircase to end” phase. I don’t care about the view. Well, I do really. Otherwise I just wouldn’t bother.

I wouldn’t bother doing gigs where it seems like no one is listening and no one cares (note I say ‘seems’).

I wouldn’t bother walking around to the somewhat bemused patrons to ask if they would like to buy a CD for the – wait for it – SPECIAL ROCK BOTTOM RATE OF £5!!! (This is not just a cheap demo I’m talking about).

I wouldn’t bother offering a pen and clipboard and asking them to oblige me with their email address for my fanmail.

I wouldn’t bother risking all the ‘no thanks’s.

I wouldn’t bother wasting my time singing my heart out for a fairy clap (or sometimes complete lack of response).

I wouldn’t bother carting the PA in, setting it up, soundchecking, warming up, dressing up, performing, packing up and driving all the way back to unload the car in the morning (most of the time all by myself) if I didn’t really want to get somewhere.

Okay, enough of the pity party. It’s even starting to bore me. Forgive me if you were in one of those ‘low response’ audiences and you really were listening but were too English to show it. I’m grateful that you’ve bothered to look up my blog and read it, and I really don’t mind too much.

I just want to know I’m heading in the right direction. Right now, I’m thinking maybe it’s time to check the map, the compass, the time of

Been playing with dolls lately…

Sort of.

Well, I had this idea for a music video for my song “Bittersweet” from the album “Duel”. I got all inspired and went and bought some dolls and I’ve been making a stop motion video using the dolls. I’d better not tell you anymore. It’s been fun though. Peter has been working with me on this one. We’re about half way done. Now I really can believe it when I hear that Disney animators create about 8 seconds of film per 8 hour day! It’s a very detailed process. I don’t know if computer animation has changed that.

I’ve also been dancing again lately. I’ve started taking Salsa classes and I’ve just signed up for a four week cha cha course. This is not ‘ballroom’ latin, it’s more ‘street’ latin. It’s been so much fun. And I’ve realised, being a real ‘pants’ woman, that I LOVE wearing skirts when I do partner dancing. It feels great to twirl in a skirt. It makes me feel a bit like a little girl again. I don’t know if any of you girls out there remember twirling in front of a mirror when you had a nice full skirt on. I sure did! The mirror was my best friend at times like that! I’m not sure if that’s a good thing to admit but there it is. I’ve admitted it.

I’m not sure if a ‘blog’ is supposed to really have a point. This one probably doesn’t. It’s just a bit of a mind dump. Hope you don’t mind. (Pardon the pun.)

I’m having some really wonderful experiences in England and meeting some really beautiful people. I went to Butterfly World at Studley Grange near Swindon on Wednesday with friends, Sue and Laurence, and had a marvellous time. I love butterflies. They are so magnificent. I have no idea how they manage to fly. To me it is a wonder. And they are so beautiful. I also saw two species of giant tarantulas while I was there! Ooohh…I wouldn’t want to find one of them in my sleeping bag! They are beautiful and wonderful in a really horrible kind of way! I reckon it was a tarantula that crept up on Miss Muffet, because my dad always told me the rhyme like this:

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on her tuffet
Eating her bacon and eggs
Along came a spider
And sat down beside her
And she said,
“Rack off, hairy legs!”

Do you like that version? I like it.

Anyway, I’ll leave you with butterflies and tarantulas.

Hopefully I’ll have some more definite news soon about my music videos that are coming out (yes, that’s right, there’s more than one).

Cheers, Linda.