So much out of my system but still so much left unsaid

This is my keyboard there are many others like it but this one is mine.
My keyboard is my best friend. It is my life. I must master it as i must master my 1337 skills. Without me my keyboard is useless. Without my 1337 I am useless. I must use these to code. I must code true. I must code better then anyone who thinks they have more 1337 then me. My code must have less bugs then anyone trying to outcode me. It WILL. Before all that is 1337 I swear this creed. My keyboard and my skills are creators of code. We are the masters of 1337. We are the removers of bugs. So be it until there are no more bugs, but working code. Amen.

1) “Victory”

-Spoon.

2) “Hair is for pussies”

-Souske.

3) “I don’t wanna be a super hippo”

-Emma.

4) “When you take the new Star Wars trilogy, Episode one is the worst, it’s like the holy ghost of the trinity….I mean….it’s there beside God…and he’s like…the father…then you’ve got Jesus…who’s got a book writtin about him…and to be fair, it was pretty good. Then you’ve got the holy ghost…who’s got nothing’, maybe a kid with a sheet over his face at Halloween but that’s about it, must be an awfully depressed Ghost.”

-Ashen.

5) “I gotta great way to get rid of crabs….pour sugar down your pants….wont kill them….but it’ll rot the bastard’s teeth”

-Woozie.

6) “Time for some pre-emptive retaliation!”

-Woozie.

7) “Excuse me, Excuse me…”

-Everyone.

“Help me Obi-Worm Kenobi, you’re my only hope”

-Spoon.

9) “Fly true fridge of Justice…and SPLODE!”

-Spoon.

10) “Yes but no”

-A confused student.

11) “Well hello Mister Swan…”

-Kelvin.

12) “Oh shit”

-Swan.

13) “I just $%&* the “£^&”

-Anon.

14) “That’s the shiznich”

-Souske.

15) “The machine’s broken”

-Spoon.

16) “Stop shooting me, I’m a medic”

-Overheal.

17) “It’s not a meal unless you spend the night in the toilet”

-Ashen.

1 “Press one for yes, press battalion for no”

-Ashen.

19) “You know who needs to be attacked? Little Hitler over there, I hear his hippos employ blitzkrieg”

-Ashen.

20) “Fuck off God, ya’ prick!”

-Souske.

21) “Armageddon, crunchy on the outside, smooth on the inside, Armageddon”

-Souske.

22) “I just drowned a bishop”

-Ashen.

23) “Now our hair’s the same colour”

-Souske.

24) “Uber nerd or Demi nerd?”

-Gurler.

25) “Condoleezza Rice sounds like a weird Chinese sexual disease that you get from a strange infected hippo”

-Ashen.

26) “Oh shit his base is over there?”

-Ashen.

27) “It’s funny cause it’s true”

-Souske.

2 “That’s why we have fire engines, to put out old people when they spontaneous combust”

-Souske.

29) “Come to my website and see my orla porn”

-Anon.

30) “I have the hungries”

-Spoon.

31) “It would be like a bible that opens this way…Laptop”

-Luke

32) “Oh yeah 2 by 2 is 4...I thought it was 1...”

-Rea Jordan.

33)”Now our hair’s the same colour!”

-Souske