Drexel Major
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Hombre, 41,
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The Children of Israel
"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's something I can't figure out."
"What's that, Joey?" asked Goldblatt.
"Well, according to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right." "And the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
"Err, right."
"And the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."
"And the Children of Israel fought the Egyptians, and the Children of Israel fought the Romans, and the Children of Israel were always doing something important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt. "So what's your question?"
"What were all the grown-ups doing?"
0 comentarios 567 días
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Words of Wisdom
Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind. You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future! Love...and you shall be loved. God always gives His best to those who leave the choice with Him. All people smile in the same language.
Everyone needs to be loved...especially when they do not deserve it. The real measure of a man's wealth is what he has invested in eternity. Laughter is God's sunshine. Everyone has beauty but not everyone sees it. It's important for parents to live the same things they teach. Thank God for what you have, TRUST GOD for what you need. If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday and the worries of tomorrow, you have no today to be thankful for. Man looks at outward appearance but the Lord looks within. The choice you make today will usually affect tomorrow.
Take time to laugh, for it is the music of the soul. Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears. Love is strengthened by working through conflicts together. Harsh words break no bones but they do break hearts. To get out of a difficulty, one usually must go through it. We take for granted the things that we should be giving thanks for. Love is the only thing that can be divided without being diminished.
Happiness is enhanced by others but does not depend upon others. For every minute you are angry with someone, you lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back. Do what you can, for whom you can, with what you have, and where you are.
0 comentarios 883 días
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Embarrassing First Date:
The most embarrassing first date. She said it was midwinter... snowing and quite cold... and the guy met her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before.
The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon.
They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a rest room and in the middle of no where. Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while.
Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car.
They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow she didn't have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself.
Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking!
All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car's fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to pump handles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date's concerns
about what is taking so long with a reply that indeed, she was freezing her butt off and in need of some assistance!
He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater. Then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal!
Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender.
And you thought your first date was embarrassing. This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off. :
0 comentarios 929 días
cerrar Whatt Type of Warroir Are You?
What type of warrior are you?
My result is: A soldier in Mr. Davissons Army
The only elite that treaten the very existance of the United States goverment (and carriers of fine sweaters) Mr. D's elite army is an underground project, whose soul mission is to destroy. That and whipe out the existance of ms. armor.
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What Type of Kisser Are You?
My result is: happy puppy
You're The Happy Puppy. You're enthusiastic and fun, but a little sloppy. Cute to look at, like a puppy!
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What Type of Heart Do You Have?Are You Sexy, Flirty, or a Slut?
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What Cartoon Character Are You?
My result is: Spongebob Squarepants
You are sea sponge living in Bikini Bottom! ... Well to be more exact you are a fun person to be around. You are very outgoing and always want to be in the middle of things. You love everything even the people that don't love you back. You can be a little too crazy sometimes and annoy a lot of people. At the best you are a really exciting person!
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What type of fighter are you?
My result is: Submission Artist
You like to take it to the ground and injure them using bone cracking, joint snapping submissions.
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HI HONEY HOWS YOU, YOU BEEN UP TO MUCH .
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like ya profile
pic mate.......
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Slow Down
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One day a policeman stopped a motorist who had just gone through a four way stop sign and was about to give him a ticket when the motorist said. "Officer you can't give me a ticket for that!' "Why not" said the officer. "Because although I did not stop I slowed right down and its almost the same." "But you did not stop" replied the officer, "and the sign says STOP." "But the way was clear and it was safe" replied the motorist. The officer then pulls out his batton and starts hitting the motorist. "What are you doing!" yells the motorist in surprise. "Do you want me to slow down or stop" says the officer.
Hi Drexel happy valentines day honey xx Ginger
After their baby was born, the panicked father went to see the Obstetrician. "Doctor," the man said, "I don't mind telling you, but I'm a little upset because my daughter has red hair.
She can't possibly be mine." "Nonsense," the doctor said. "Even though you and your wife both have black hair, one of your ancestors may have contributed red hair to the gene pool."
"It isn't possible," the man insisted. "This can't be, our families on both sides had jet-black hair for generations."
"Well," said the doctor, "let me ask you this. How often do you have sex?" The man seemed a bit ashamed. "I've been working very hard for the past year. We only made love once or twice every few months."
"Well, there you have it!" the doctor said. "It's rust."
HI HONEY WELCOME TO MY BEBO PAGE xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Drexel,
Hello, I like your page and I really liked your story about the child birth lesson. What the little boy said was really cute.
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Mark & Stephanie Miller