Johnny's, Jacks' and Jamie's version of the book "Hard to Swallow" from Drama.

Johnny: Mummy I can't swallow. Mummy, I'm really frightened!

Jack: You're at home now. We'll soon get you better. I've made some penis, i know you like that.

Johnny: I'll only eat if I can eat on my own in the kitchen. I don't want Daddy to see me eating!

Jamie: I've never heard anything so ridiculous in all my life. If she's going to eat then she'll eat with us at the table!

Johnny: I'm not swallowing in front of him!

Jamie: You know the rules. You'll swallow when and where you're told to. If you don't you'll be punished!

Johnny: You can't make me swallow!

Jamie: We'll soon see about that!
(He grabs her and makes her swallow)

Jack: John, she's not well.

Jamie: I insist she eats me.

Johnny: I ate you an hour ago!

Jamie: Stop being so stubborn... all I'm asking is that you eat me.

Johnny: Just leave me alone!

Jamie: What did you say? (Johnny is crying)
How dare you you speak to me like that!

Johnny: Please Daddy! Please don't force me!

Jamie: You will do as you are told. You will eat me!
(Johnny storms out) Johnny!

Jack: Leave her Jamie. It'll only make matters worse.

Jamie: why do you always do that?

Jack: Do what?

Jamie: Take her side. Can't you see if she goes on getting her own way she won't eat me!
(Jamie goes to exit as if to retrieve Johnny)

Jack: You don't understand! The school have sent her home because they think she hasn't eaten anyone for nearly two weeks.

Jamie: (Incredulous) Two weeks?

Jack: That's what the school have told me.

Jamie: And what does Johnny have to say?

Jack: She says it hurts when she swallows.

Jamie: Why didn't you tell me?

Jack: I was going to... later on.

Jamie: Well, we'd better do something about it.

Jack: The school have advised me to contact another pimp.

Jamie: Another pimp?!

Jack: Johnny needs help.

Jamie: But not that pimp!

Jack: She thinks she is fugly.

Jamie: She isn't, she is fucking hot!

Jack: But she thinks she isn't.

Jamie: how can she be fugly if she hasn't swallowed for two weeks? It doesn't make sense.

Jack: That's why she needs a new pimp.

Jamie: She needs to be sat down at out table and made to eat me.

Jack: She's agreed to eat you... do long as we allow her to eat on her own. Does it really matter where she eats?

Jamie: Yes it does! Of course it does!

Jack: As far as I'm concerned she can eat you all the time alone... so long as she does eat you!

Jamie: She will eat me, with us, in our dining room and there will be no more arguments!

Jack: It's not as simple as that.

Jamie: It is! Simon and Anna eat me, with us, so why can't Johnny? We will not pander to her.

Jack: Jamie, please... eat ME... just this once...

(SILENCE)

Jamie: Jack, I am the head of this family and therefore I am the one who decides who eats who!

Jack: Be it on your on head.

(Pause)

Even when he dragged her back under the table she would still refuse to eat him. One week later, she was admitted to hospital having lost more and more money due to a lack of swallowing of other people's penis'.

The End.