Steve: Hey, nice bulbs, Emily. Oh, and I don't mean that metaphorically.

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Doug Butabi: Are you seeing planes? Is your name Tattoo? Because swear to God, you're living on Fantasy Island.

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Doug Butabi: You can take our phones and you can take our keys, but you cannot take away our dreams.
Steve Butabi: Yeah, because we're, like, sleeping when we have them.

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Steve: What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up? What's up?
Doug: Steve, slow down.
Steve: I can't help it man, it's hottie overload.
Doug: Just pace yourself.
Steve: Ok... What's up?... 2, 3, 4. What's up?... 2, 3, 4...

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Mr. Zadir: Wait a minute, did you just grab my ass?
Doug Butabi: No.
Mr. Zadir: Do you want to?
Doug Butabi: No... should I?

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Doug Butabi: So anyways, I was standing there waiting to use the pay phone.
Steve Butabi: Yeah, he was, seriously.
Doug Butabi: And this guy who was on the phone, turns around and tips his hat like this.
Steve Butabi: And who do you think that guy was?
Doug Butabi: Emilio Estevez.
Steve Butabi: The Mighty Duck man, I swear to God, I was there.
Doug Butabi: Of course you were, you were the one who yelled the Breakfast Clubber's name.
Steve Butabi: I was like, "Emilio."

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Bouncer: Nobody gets in unless they talk to the list.
Doug: We're on the list.
Bouncer: Name?
Steve: Steve and Doug Butabi.
Bouncer: You're brothers?
Doug: No...?
Steve: YES.
Doug: Man., Works every time.
Bouncer: That's very funny.
Steve: Yea, Doug's hilarious.

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Cambi: Can you believe we actually had sex with these asswads?

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Mr. Zadir: Dooey, did you just grab my ass?
Dooey: Sir, from where I'm standing, that's a physichal impossibilty.
Mr. Zadir: Oh, I know your tricks, Dooey!

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[on his marriage]
Steve Butabi: Dad, is there any way I can get out of this?
Kamehl Butabi: Yes... nooooooo.

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[trying to pick up some women]
Doug Butabi: So... you guys wanna make out or what?

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[lining up outside The Roxbury]
Doug Butabi: So... you want to dance?
Girl: We're not in the club yet.
Doug Butabi: Right.

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Kamehl Butabi: What I do understand is that you're going to a big new hot club tonight. Is that what it is?
Doug Butabi: That's right.
Steve Butabi: Exactly.
Kamehl Butabi: What I don't understand is how you're gonna get there.
[Kamehl takes their car keys]
Doug Butabi, Steve Butabi: What are you doing? God. Man.

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Steve Butabi: Oh my god, Doug. This is the most amazing place I've ever been.
Richard Grieco: Guys, guys. This is the coat room. The club's in here.

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Cambi: There you are. We got scared.
Doug: Of who, we'll kick his ass.
Cambi: No we got scared someone stole you away from us.
Doug: Oh... oh, like some other girls would steal us away.
Steve: Oh...
[getting it]
Steve: OH.

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