uU kNoW uR a MaOri WeN..

-You go to the ball with your cousin.
-A nice restaurant is an 'all you can eat' place.
-Someone in your family got pregnant at 15.
-A sleeve is a form of tissue for your nose.
-You have to do dishes more than 3 times a day.
-Breakfast is the left over food from last night.
-Your sent to pick watercress for a tangi @ 3 o'clock in the morning.
-You organise for a get together at 2 o'clock, and everyone shows up at 5.
-You get a hiding with a jandal/gumboot/chord/spoon
-You can sprint barefoot on sharp rocks.
-You visit cuzzies, and someone's wearing the clothes you left behind last time.
-You and your cousins sit around, and dis everyone who walks past.
-Your brother is over protective of you, then he beats up his missus.
-You have brothers or sisters with different mothers or fathers.
-You give the longest shout outs on the radio.
-You have 6 people in the back seat of the car.
-You go home after school on a Wednesday, and your parents are having a party.
-In a photo, someone's pulling some kind of gang related hand signal.
-Your mum cuts your hair cos you keep getting kutu's.
-Your at a party, and your aunty turns the stereo off then starts playing the guitar.
-You know all the words to 10 guitars.
-You see someone wearing your shoes that went missing at the marae.
-The words 'ow' 'chur' and 'sweet' are part of your vocabulary.
-you go to school to eat the other kids lunch
-you go to school to watch the teacher teach the other kids
-you give the pakeha kid a hiding for calling you dum
- bullrush was your favourite sport
-You get ur pakeha partner to go rent the flat
-you think ur tribe is the best in the world
-your dad cuts your hair, gets hoha and leaves the other half for the next day after school!!
-your older brother makes you cry and your the one who gets a hiding for crying
-all your marbles are ball bearings and you try to pass them off as steelies
-Hello and goodbye is said by raising your eyebrows.
-you laughed at how the crocodile hunter died.
-your jandals / gumboots are: ur running shoes, ur work shoes, ur flippers and ur going out shoes.
-your swimming togs are shorts and t-shirt. (and ur in Maui, Hawaii, where all they wear is bikinis).
-you do bombs at the public pools where it says no bombing.
-brushing your hair is ... just putting on a beanie.
-your Dad is also your Koro
-you start driving, smoking and drinking when you are in form one
-you're good at touch
-at least one of your relations is a Coconut
-you cant speak Maori but are fluent when you are drunk
-you laugh at everyone who cant sing
-you laugh at everyone who cant dance
-you laugh at everyone who cant do both at the same time
-your at a party with the guitar and everyone only knows half the words to all the songs u sing
-you go to a party and at least a couple of ur relatives are sleeping on the table
-you go to a party in three days time and its still going
-you go to a party and they start passing round da cowboy hat 4 beers
-you go diving with one flipper
-playing the spoons is right up there for percussion to the guitar.
-gumboots, jandals & a swandri are all considered #1's.
-the whanau hangi sacks and baskets get passed down to you
-rotten foods are a delicacy
-you try the whakapapa/tino rangatiratanga line to get into a public event