01 - Thou shalt drink only pints and/or "whiskey."
02 - Thou shalt always ate the skin of yer rasher.
03 - Thou shalt always stand at the back during mass, or even better, in the porch talking.
04 - Thine Wife shalt emulate Biddy from Glenroe.
05 - Thou shalt think Richie Kavanagh is fierce funny, and have all his records on your mantelpiece at home
06 - Thou shalt emulate Miley.
07 - Thou shalt pretend to know all about "The Headage."
08 - Thou shalt look after your tractor better than your car.
09 - Thou shalt have no "Revershing" lights or number plate on your trailers.
10 - Thou shalt display a "Travellin' to Flavin" sticker on the back window of all vehicles.
11 - Thou shalt wear your Ivomec Pour-On fleece with pride.
12 - Thou shalt not use but half-inch Wavin or "a good Sally Rod" for beatin cattle.
13 - Thine sons shall play GAA.
14 - Thine daaawwwthur shall marry the local centhur-forward.
15 - Thou shalt hold regular arguments with d'telly.
16 - Thou shalt reminisce the Fair Day, the Threshing, Kickin' Cabbages and the Corncrake.
17 - Thou shalt know a Mickeen Tomeen Joe and a Paddy Joe Paaaack from "the top of the parish."
18 - Thou shalt ate "Hang Sangwiches" and drink Cidona at all GAA matches.
19 - Thou shalt hate "Those Backstards the Tans."
20 - Thou shalt be edumacated by the Chrissshtian Brethers.
21 - Thou shalt pronounce 'Yellow' as 'Yella'.
22 - Thou shalt carry the A.I. Man's mobile number on you at all times.
23 - Thou shalt not visit Dublin [except to Croker and to bring the wife shoppin' on the 8th of December ].
24 - Thou shalt not fail to attend the Ploughing Championships and all Steam Rallies.
25 - Thou shalt always know how to reek turf bether than thine Neighbour.
26 - Thou shalt use balin' twine to hold up thine trousers.
27 - Thou shalt not ever visit the dentist.
28 - Thou shalt not miss an episode of "The Weather."
29 - Thou shalt have many many injuries from "that Hooooor of Charlois I got from that cowboy calf-dealer."
30 - Thou shalt wear cap crooked.
31 - Thou shalt love all Big John Wayne's fims, especially "The Quiet Man."
32 - Thine son shall be nicknamed "Bungalow," 'cos "he's got nothin' upstairs."
33 - Thou shalt shoot stray dogs.
34 - Thou shalt drown cats.
35 - Thou shalt think all Lesbians are from Lesbia.
36 - Thou shalt annually run the tractor off the end of the pit when tramping silage.
37 - Thou shalt taste all barrels of Molasses.
38 - Thou shalt think it's great craic to ring PJ and roar into the phone while he's with "the bit of stuff."
39 - Thine favourite chat-up line shalt be "Howya fixshed for a bit a howya goin' on ?" whilst winking like an epileptic.
40 - Thou shalt paint "Whatever County for Sam!" on all of your round bales.
41 - Thou shalt never leave the country.
42 - Thou shalt have a Heinz-57 mongrel of a dog which is for nothin' except terrorising the neighbour's sheep.
43 - Thou shalt only bathe on a sathurday niyat, using only carbolic soap
44 - Thou shalt "Suck Diesel."
45 - Thou shalt always support your county GAA team whilst curshing them for being "pure shite" at every given opportunity.
46 - Thine sweet of choice shall be either Ritchies After-Dinner Mints or Silvermints.
47 - Thou shalt only be aware of strippers of the bovine kind.
48 - Thou shalt refer to Soccer as "The Foreign Game."
49 - Thou shalt always sing the dirty line to "Alice."
50 - Thou shalt always receive Communion on the tongue, licking the priest's hand in the process

>IRISH BOGGER SAYINGS }}}}}
> >
> >I'm as sick as a small hospital
> >I'm so hungry I'd eat a small child
> >She had a face on her like a well slapped a*se
> >Your' re as welcome as a f*rt in a spacesuit
> >My mouth's as dry as a nuns cr@ck
> >He has rubber-lined pockets so he can steal soup
> >He thinks manual labour is a Spanish musician
> >As funny as a burning orphanage
> >He's so camp, he sh1tes tent pegs
> >I'm as sick as a plane to Lourdes
> >I feel like a boiled sh1te(hungover) (when leaving)
> >I'm off like a debs dress
> >She had a face on her that would drive rats from a barn
> >As busy as the dalkey dole office
> >Sweatin' like a paedophile in a Barney suit
> >As tight as a nun's knickers
> >I'm so horny I'd get up on the crack of dawn
> >I'd crawl a million miles across broken glass to kiss the exhaust of
the
>van
> >that took her dirty knickers to the laundry.
> >
> >Up and down like a hoor's knickers
> >No show pony but would do for a ride around the house
> >Did your mother find out who your father is yet?
> >What would ye expect from a pig but a grunt
> >I left her with a face like a painters radio
> >A mickey the size of a double-value can of Right Guard
> >Jaysus, she could breastfeed a crèche
> >As fit as a butcher's dog
> >She's got more chins than a Chinese phone book
> >Not even the tide would take her out
> >Mother Teresa wouldn't kiss her
> >Daz wouldn't shift her
> >Des Kelly wouldn't lay her
> >A sniper wouldn't take her out
> >Jaysus, ya wouldn't ride her into battle
> >If I'd a bag of bruised willies I wouldn't give her one
> >She has a face on her like a bulldog that's just licked p*ss off a
nettle
> >She wouldn't get a kick in a stampede
> >She had a f@nny like a badly packed kebab
> >If I'd a garden full of mickeys I wouldn't let her look over the
wall
> >Give her a boot in the hole and a bucket of mickeys would fall out
of her

do you say des words!??Yes i do!den u r a culchie!!
Culchie Slang....!!!
these are from the culchie dictionary..they originated in the western parts of ireland in particular galway, mayo, roscommon and a little from tipperary..

The following is a list ofwords and phrases that can often be heard
in culchiedom :


A fierce pile of bog :
A sizable quantity of bog

G'wan ta fuck autt a dat:
Please go away

A Thundering fuck :
An unreliable person

A shlap in the face of a brick:
To be struck square in the face with a brick

A soft day :
Miserable fucking weather

Hardy man :
Someone who can survive waking up buck naked in
filthy ditch water on January the first after a year long drinking session

Machine :
General purpose term used to refer to any man made implement more advanced than a pitch fork

Hang sangwedge :
Salty ham surrounded by two slices stale bread. A buffer of cheap margarine, preferably Blue-Band (half inch thick) must separate the ham from the bread. A top class hang sangwige
will of course contain a sprinkling of sand.

A paka ha tayho :
A bag of crisps

Finches, ave'u the :
Have you the Finches orange soda

Girleen:
Any girl an older man would like to get his leg over.

Land Rover :
Usually a ford escort van that has seen better days.

Mighty :
Indicative of something being very good>

Craic :
fun, as in Mighty Craic or The Craic was Mighty

Locked :
very drunk

After a few shcoops :
reasonably drunk

Flahed :
a state of extreme exhaution, usually brought on by
consecutive locked nights

Fien :
Man whose name is unknown, or unremembered at ! the present time.

Fine piece of shtuff :
used to describe a person considered attractive.

Bollox :
multiple uses, generally derogatory

Cunt of a ting :
Something very difficult to do or use.

Jaysus :
An expression of surprise.

Be Jaysus :
An expression of sheer surprise.

Fukdat :
An expression of mild displeasure

Yoke :
Just about anything whose proper Description doesn't spring to mind

Fierce :
It is, yes.

Eeegit :
Somebody less intelligent than oneself. i.e. a
complete fool altogether

A cute Hoor :
Somebody more intelligent than oneself. i.e. not a
complete fool altogether. In some situations this may refer to a person's ability to weasal out of buying their round of drinks, particularlary in Co Cork, as in "Ye Cute Cork Hoor".

A tight Kunt:
Similar to "A cute Hoor" and again has very little to do with the fairer sex except in perhaps her inability to fork out for her share of the booze.

Gobshite:
Someone very high in the "Eeegit" stakes but will
generally be a tourist or perhaps from Dublin.

Yoke-m-abus :
Any form of motorised transport

An onmercifull fe-ad :
A very large Sunday dinner partaken after several
pints of Guinness