Let us go then, you and I,
When the evening is spread out against the sky
Like a patient etherized upon a table;
Let us go, through certain half-deserted streets,
The muttering retreats
Of restless nights in one-night cheap hotels
And sawdust restaurants with oyster-shells:
Streets that follow like a tedious argument
Of insidious intent
To lead you to an overwhelming question ...
Oh, do not ask, "What is it?"

Let us go and make our visit.
In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

The yellow fog that rubs its back upon the window-panes,
The yellow smoke that rubs its muzzle on the window-panes,
Licked its tongue into the corners of the evening,
Lingered upon the pools that stand in drains,
Let fall upon its back the soot that falls from chimneys,
Slipped by the terrace, made a sudden leap,
And seeing that it was a soft October night,
Curled once about the house, and fell asleep.

And indeed there will be time
For the yellow smoke that slides along the street,
Rubbing its back upon the window-panes;
There will be time, there will be time
To prepare a face to meet the faces that you meet;
There will be time to murder and create,
And time for all the works and days of hands
That lift and drop a question on your plate;
Time for you and time for me,
And time yet for a hundred indecisions,
And for a hundred visions and revisions,
Before the taking of a toast and tea.

In the room the women come and go
Talking of Michelangelo.

And indeed there will be time
To wonder, "Do I dare?" and, "Do I dare?"
Time to turn back and descend the stair,
With a bald spot in the middle of my hair--
(They will say: 'How his hair is growing thin!")
My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,
My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin--
(They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!")
Do I dare
Disturb the universe?
In a minute there is time
For decisions and revisions which a minute will reverse.

For I have known them all already, known them all:
Have known the evenings, mornings, afternoons,
I have measured out my life with coffee spoons;
I know the voices dying with a dying fall
Beneath the music from a farther room.
So how should I presume?

And I have known the eyes already, known them all--
The eyes that fix you in a formulated phrase,
And when I am formulated, sprawling on a pin,
When I am pinned and wriggling on the wall,
Then how should I begin
To spit out all the butt-ends of my days and ways?
And how should I presume?

And I have known the arms already, known them all--
Arms that are braceleted and white and bare
(But in the lamplight, downed with light brown hair!)
Is it perfume from a dress
That makes me so digress?
Arms that lie along a table, or wrap about a shawl.
And should I then presume?
And how should I begin?

Shall I say, I have gone at dusk through narrow streets
And watched the smoke that rises from the pipes
Of lonely men in shirt-sleeves, leaning out of windows? ...

I should have been a pair of ragged claws
Scuttling across the floors of silent seas.

* * *

And the afternoon, the evening, sleeps so peacefully!
Smoothed by long fingers,
Asleep ... tired ... or it malingers,
Stretched on the floor, here beside you and me.
Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,
Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?
But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,
Though I have seen my head (grown slightly bald) brought in upon a platter,
I am no prophet--and here's no great matter;
I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

And would it have been worth it, after all,
After the cups, the marmalade, the tea,
Among the porcelain, among some talk of you and me,
Would it h

Oh my God! I've got some fucking Jaffa cakes in my coat pocket!

M: "I fell asleep on the tube..."
T: "Where are you now?"
M: "err... Sheffield"
T: "the tube doesnt go to sheffield, mike"
M: "yeah, I must have changed at kings cross"

Jar-Jar makes the Ewoks look like fucking Shaft!

Brian: "Can I borrow a teabag?"
Tim: "Only if you bring it back."
Brian: "What?"
Tim: "You can have a teabag Brian you can't borrow one."
Brian: "Oh.."
Tim: "... You've got some paint on you."
Brian: "It's a literal tribute to the reflexivity of Rembrandt."
Tim: "Did he like it?"
Brian: "No, he's dead."
Tim: "Bloody hell that really backfired didn't it"

Twist: I need you to see me as a whole!
Brian: I do!
Twist: A whole Brian, with a 'w'

Daisy: "... we ate our bodyweight in Twiglets and you punched an artist in the face."
Tim: "Shit!" *looks worried. A moment passes* "I'm not supposed to have Twiglets."
Daisy: "Why not?"
Tim: "They make me violent."

Brian - What's that?
Tim - Tomb Raider 3
Brian - She's drowning. Is that the point of the game?
Tim - Depends how you're feeling really

Daisy: I knew I should've bought 'Big Fat Cocks'...

DAISY : I feel very Zen, I feel really different, I don't know where to start.
TIM : Near the end?

Don't worry Daisy. Tim's just really angry at you because you've jeapordised his future. ok?

Tim: "Twist, we're going to an animal testing laboratory, I'm sure they'll be plenty of make-up there."

Tim: So do you like my comic?
Daisy: Yeah....oh that reminds me Marcia was talking about the rubbish

Daisy: "I could go frumpy and clever or sexy and stupid"
Tim: "Why not mix them?"
Daisy: "Frumpy and stupid?"
Tim: "Well, you wouldn't have to get ready..."

tim:" mike, you'll always be my number one."
mike: " then why are you treating me like im a number two?"

"Don't forget to wash your sheets. And your penis..."

"What do you mean her real names Ian?"
"She's no gender specific"
"What you mean she's a tranny?"
"Much more than that"
"What, a big fat tranny?"

t- did you put it in my portfoliio?
d- i put it in A portfolio
t- WHAT!
d- i put it in your portfolio...
t- WHAT!
m- did she say what i thought she said??
t- she put it in my portfolio!
m- WHAT!!!!

Daisy: Do you rent downstairs?
Brian: Do you mean "am I gay?"

1. Thou Shalt Always Be Angry

2. Thou Shalt Always Be Satanic

3. Thou Shalt Come From Europe

4. Thou Shalt Have Long Hair

5. Thou Shalt Have At Least One Band Member That No One Can Remember The Name Of...

6. Thou Shalt Say You Hate Bon Jovi, Even Though Deep Down You Love Singing Their Songs When Nobody Is Around

7. Thou Shalt Be In A Wacken Festival At Least Once In Your Life

8. Thou Shalt Avoid The Make Up Like Hell "Mummy, Mummy, Save Me, They'll Eat My Hand!"

9. Thou Shalt Not Let Thy Wife Be In Control. She'll Pull Thou By The Lace Like A Dog!

10. Thou Shalt Not Dance

11.Thou Shalt Learn How To Play The Air Guitar And Display Relevant Facial Expressions To A High Standard

12.Thou Shalt Rock!

13.Thou Shalt Get Back Up On Feet Onstage And Play Even After Suffering A Terrible Fall