I don't know why I am writing this, I'm sure nobody will read it and I kind of hope that they don't.

Things seemed to start kind of going right this last little while. I've sorted myself out, started my own business which I have always wanted to do, became incredibly close to some really important people and just generally enjoyed life. On top of that I have celared some people out of my life who weren't good for me.

So why out of the blue do a few little words have to change everything. Bring it all crazhing down around you. I've never really been genuinely as scared as I am right this second sitting on my own writing this. I don't know what to say or how to act. I wish someone could help me out a little by telling me what to do and how to fix this.

I don't think I have ever felt this alone, despite the people closest to me being brilliant. I believe in Karma and I can't actually remember what I have done that is that bad but I must have odne something.

Anyway I think that this is probably the wakeup call I needed. If I survive this then anybody who has been shut out should not expect to be let back in, for any reason at any time. I'm going to be selfish from now on. If you have hurt me you know who you are and you know this is aimed at you.

I love me and I'm much stronger than I believed.

Real Friends


FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never ask for food.
REAL FRIENDS: Are the reason you have no food.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr/Mrs.
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents mum and dad or aunty and uncle.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
REAL FRIENDS: Would sit next to you sayin "Damn ... we fucked up ... when we doing it again?!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Never see you cry.
REAL FRIENDS: Cry with you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
REAL FRIENDS: Keep your shit so long they forget its yours.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Could write a book about you with direct quotes from you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that is what the crowd is doing.
REAL FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would knock on your front door.
REAL FRIENDS: Walk right in and say "I'M HOME!"

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Are for a while.
REAL FRIENDS: Are for life.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
REAL FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say "Bitch drink the rest of that you know we don't waste!" ... but will always take care of you.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
REAL FRIENDS: Will knock the shit right out of them.

FAKE ASS FRIENDS: Would ignore this and pretend it's not true.
REAL FRIENDS: Will add this to their blog the minute they read it

If you go over 45, you're a bad influence. If you go under 10, chances are you've been living under a rock! Total the number of things in each list you've done.

No need to say which ones. If people really want to know they will message you.

1. smoked
2. consumed alcohol
3. slept in the same bed with someone of the opposite sex
4. slept in the same bed with someone of the same sex
5. kissed someone of the same sex
6. had sex
7. had someone in your room other than family
8. watched porn
9. bought porn
10. done drugs
Total: 7/10

1. taken painkillers
2. taken someone else's prescription medicine.
3. lied to your parents.
4. lied to a friend.
5. snuck out of the house.
6. done something illegal.
7. hurt yourself.
8. hurt someone.
9. wished someone to die.
10. seen someone die.
Total:7/10

1. missed curfew.
2. stayed out all night.
3. eaten a carton of ice cream by yourself.
4. been to a therapist.
5. been to rehab.
6. dyed your hair.
7. received a ticket.
8. been in an accident.
9. been to a club.
10. been to a bar.
Total: 9/10

1. been to a wild party.
2. seen the Mardi Gras.
3. drank more than four beers in a night.
4. had a spring break in Florida.
5. sniffed anything.
6. wore black nail polish.
7. wore arm bands.
8. wore t-shirts with band names.
9. listened to rap.
10. owned a 50 Cent CD.
Total: 3/10

1. dressed Gothic.
2. dressed prep.
3. dressed punk.
4. dressed grunge.
5. stole something.
6. been too drunk to remember anything.
7. blacked out.
8. fainted.
9. had a crush on a neighbor.
10. Slept with a neighbor.
Total: 6/10

1. snuck into someone else's room.
2. had a crush on your friend.
3. been to a concert.
4. dry-humped someone.
5. been called a slut.
6. called someone a slut.
7. installed speakers in your car.
8. broken a mirror.
9. showered at someone of the opposites sex's house.
10. brushed your teeth with someone elses toothbrush
Total: 9/10

1. consider/considered Ludacris your favorite rapper.
2. seen an R-rated movie in theater.
3. cruised the mall.
4. skipped school.
5. had surgery.
6. had an injury.
7. gone to court.
8. walked out of a restaurant without paying/tipping.
9. caught something on fire.
10. lied about your age.
Total: 5/10

1. owned/rented an apartment.
2. broke the law in the police's presence.
3. made out with someone who had a gf/bf.
4. got in trouble with the police.
5. talked to a stranger.
6. hugged a stranger.
7. kissed a stranger.
8. rode in the car with a stranger.
9. been harassed.
10. been verbally harassed.
Total: 9/10

1. met face-to-face with someone you met online.
2. stayed online for 5 hours straight.
3. talked on the phone for more than 4 hours straight.
4. watched TV for 5 hours straight.
5. been to a fair.
6. been called a bad influence.
7. drink and drive.
8. prank-called someone.
9. laid on a couch with someone of the opposite sex.
10. cheated on a test.
Total: 7/10

Grand Total: 62...Hmmmm I don;t think Im a bad influence...must be broken...