Problem was, he'd taken so many beatings on the terraces that he weren't scared of anyone. And the correct medical term for that is a 'total fuckin' psycho'.

What else are you gonna do on a Saturday? Sit in your fuckin' armchair wankin' off to Pop Idols? Then try and avoid your wife's gaze as you struggle to come to terms with your sexless marriage? Then go and spunk your wages on kebabs, fruit machines and brasses? Fuck that for a laugh! I know what I'd rather do. Tottenham away, love it!

Dorian

Diver Vagina Man its The way forward Blud

Ey Ey Ey Maa Size Oi Maa Size, Oi Darlin, Oi Girl Im Talkin U Man, Oi Girl I Chattin To You....Dont Think Shes On It.

You're having a bubble mate

If I knew I was going to a barmitzva, I would have bought my fuckin skull cap

If I knew I was going to a barmitzva, I would have bought my fuckin skull cap

Wea just shaving our toes and braiding our vaginas

Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now!

Over the hills, in a weird little land, live fairies and goblins with more than two hands. Some gremlins they say can come with four eyes. The dragons can scorch with the simplest of sighs. The scariest things to people like us, cos nothing can touch them, they're allergic to fuss. Until their mother appeared, started roaming their valley. Hiding and pouncing from damp, dark alleys. No noise, No chewing, No signs of a fight. Devouring the children with a plate of French fries. The bitch as she's called in the company of elves. Brought this tormenting curse upon herself. She'd been on a bender and staggered home pissed. Found an eighth and some Rizlas and rolled out a spliff. Got the munchies and reached for the handiest snack. She ate her own kids and then spat them straight back. 'Forgive me, my beauties, what a dreadful mistake!' The children can't hear her, they've gone it's too late.

Pint and two e's Karen love

Here's a new idea for you. I'll get you a spoon so you can eat my ass.

Jim. Can't you keep your shirt on? You're scaring the chicks away.

Pamela Anderson I don't love you no more! NOTTTTTT!!

You telling me the man who try to put a rubber fist in my anus was a homosexual?

I like sex....ITS NAAAAAIIIIIIICEEEEEEEEEE

My sister teased him she say nanananana you never get this lalalala AND one day he break out of his cage and HE GET THISSSS!

And I put it to YOU... that you sucked off a 'orse.

Aaaaaiiiiii

Soon you will big-up to Tyrone's level. Tyrone, if you keeps getting any better, we're gonna have to do your pubes, aiii.

He iz a criminal! And not even da good type wot deals drugs and does drive bys.

Honestly mate, you look sterling

[referring to Tommy's gun] Heavy is good, heavy is reliable. If it doesn't work you can always hit them with it.

Tommy... the tit... is praying... and if he's not.... he fucking should be!!!

[Tommy] I don't care if he's got fucking hazelnuts. I want a gun that works, and I'm gonna tell him.
[Turkish] My God, Tommy, you certainly got those minerals. Well, come on, then before 'zee' Germans get here.

Avi: Should I call you Bullet? Tooth? Bullet Tooth Tony: You can call me Susan if it makes you happy.

Listen, you fucking fringe, if I throw a dog a bone, I don't want to know if it tastes good or not. You stop me again whilst I'm walking, and I'll cut your fucking Jacobs off.

Errol: Fuckface, who's speaking to you? He asked him, didn't he? Turkish: Fuckface... I like that one Errol. I'll have to remember that one next time I'm climbing off yer mum.

Multiple orgasm? What's that? Oh, must mean two women. One on each hand like mittens.

My Donna is a sensitive little flower. One cruel remark and we’ll be all the way back to the aardvark of fire incident.

God, I love your problems Louise, they're always so trivial. Makes me feel like I'm living inside 'Sabrina The Teenage Witch'.

She didn't even eat the grapes I bought her, said they were made of plastic, whatever that means? I went all the way to Ikea for those.