EVER WONDER where we are headed...

Why the sun lightens our hair,

but darkens our skin?

Why you don't ever see the headline:

"Psychic Wins Lottery"?

Why "abbreviated" is such a long word?

Why Doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why you have to click on "Start"

to stop Windows 98?


Why lemon juice is made with artificial flavor, while dishwashing liquid is made with real lemons?

Why the man who invests all your money is called a “Broker”?

Why there isn't mouse flavored cat food?

Who tastes dog food when it has a

"new & improved" flavor?

Why Noah didn't swat those two mosquitoes?

Why they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


Why they don't make the whole plane out of the material used for the indestructible black box?

Why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Why they are called apartments when

they are all stuck together?

If con is the opposite of pro,

is Congress the opposite of progress?

Why they call the airport "the terminal"

if flying is so safe?

AND...


In case you need further proof that the human race is doomed because of stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Myer hairdryer:

“Do not use while sleeping”.

(Darn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Chips:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

(The shoplifter special?)

On a bar of Palmolive soap:

“Directions: Use like regular soap”.

(And that would be how???)


On some frozen dinners:

"Serving suggestion: Defrost”.

(But, it's just a suggestion).

On Nanna's Tiramisu dessert

(printed on bottom):

"Do not turn upside down”.

(Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

"Product will be hot after heating”.

(And you thought????...)

On packaging for a K-Mart iron:

"Do not iron clothes on body”.

(But wouldn't this save me more time?)


On Boot's Children Cough Medicine:

"Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication”.

(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5 year olds with head colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid:

"Warning: May cause drowsiness”.

(And...I'm taking this because???)

On most brands of Christmas lights:

"For indoor or outdoor use only”.

(As opposed to...what?)

On a Japanese food processor:

"Not to be used for the other use”.

(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Nobby's peanuts:

"Warning: contains nuts”.

(Talk about a news flash!)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:

"Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts”.

(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

I don't blame the company, I blame the parents for this one:

On a child's superman costume:

"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly”.

On a Swedish chainsaw:

"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals”.

(Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

Yeah, this is cool. But I write wayy too much shit in my blog. Like, fo shiz. Cause I just kinda see somethin & then I'm like 'damn gurl that's awesome' & then I steal it [lol] =D..


☺☻ Racism ☺☻
☺☻ -x- Stop Racism -x- ☺☻

A BLACK MAN WALKS INTO A CAFE EARLY ONE MORNING AND NOTICES HE'S THE ONLY ONE THERE

AS HE SAT DOWN HE NOTICED A WHITE MAN SAT BEHIND HIM. THE WHITE MAN SAID "COLOURED PEOPLE ARN'T ALLOWED IN HERE."

THE BLACK MAN REPLIED..

"WHEN I WAS BORN I WAS BLACK

WHEN I GREW UP I WAS BLACK

WHEN I'M SICK I'M BLACK

WHEN I GO IN THE SUN I'M BLACK

WHEN I'M COLD I'M BLACK

AND WHEN I DIE I'M BLACK.

BUT YOU SIR...

WHEN YOU WERE BORN YOU WERE PINK

WHEN YOUR'E SICK YOUR'E GREEN

WHEN YOU STAY IN THE SUN YOUR'E RED

WHEN YOUR'E COLD YOU TURN BLUE

AND WHEN YOU DIE YOU TURN 'PURPLE'.

AND YET YOU HAVE THE NERVE TO CALL ME COLOURED?!"

THE BLACK MAN TURNED BACK AROUND AND THE WHITE MAN WALKED AWAY.

☺☻ COPY THIS INTO YOUR SPACE AND HELP ERASE RACISM ☺☻

11 rules of BEBO

one.
If you're ugly,
stop acting like you don't know it.
The captions under your picture that says
"top model pose"
"sexy bitch"
"arnt i hot"
don't convince anyone.


two.
To the people who have like 25,000 friends,
are you serious?
Nobody in this universe can keep up with that many friends.
You're stupid.
Go play in traffic.


three.
Don't ever post pictures and say
"OMG, I'm so ugly"
"OMG, I'm so fat"
because if you were,
you wouldn't post them.


four.
Nobody cares about threats over the internet.
Don't try to act hardcore with the keyboard.
Fighting online is like racing in the special olympics;
even if you win,
you're still retarded.


five.
Making 20 bulletins a day
about how you have new pictures
and begging people to comment on them is pathetic.
Make the bulletin once if you have to,
and those who actually care about you
will comment on your pics.


six.
If all your pictures look the same,
don't post them all.
Please put some variety in your pics.
Nobody wants to see your face
8 different ways.


seven.
Who really cares if
I don't accept you as a friend?
MOVE ON!!!
Don't send me another request or message asking
"what's up with you not adding me?"
I don't want you as a friend;
that's what's up!


eight.
Little 6th graders who have Bebos
and look like sluts,
go somewhere else
because nobody wants you here!!


nine.
If you have decided to read this,
you are a true Bebo Friend.
Real friends read their bulletins.


ten.
I say, you go and pass this on
and maybe it will finally get through people's brains
(if they have them).


eleven.
And if you open a message and it says something like
"repost this in 100 seconds or a ghost will rape your dog tonight,"
IT'S NOT REAL!
QUIT BEING AN IDIOT!!
PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO LIFE WHATSOEVER MAKE THAT SHIT UP THINKING THAT PEOPLE WILL FALL FOR THEIR STUPID TRAP!! AND YOU DO!!


This is a test to see how many people
in your friends list
actually pay attention to you.


"like omg if yuu dnt repost dis in 1 second at midnite//and if yuu do at midnite ur tru lov will...SHUTTUP YOOH FREAKING ARSEHOLES..that shit ain't gonn happen..what a load 'o bull!!


Copy and repost in your own bulletin as
11 rules of BEBO.

*THANKYOU*