Counting on a Prison Escape

I was an accountant imprisoned for tax fraud. It was tough, as I had nothing more than boobs in my cell to entertain me. I tried to shagging, but I finally snapped and decided to escape. I devised a hard plan to dig a tunnel at night. I put my huge cock in my bed in case a guard walked by. By the eighth night I was smoothly exhausted, but I had the awesome feeling that I was close. Suddenly, I saw the light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak. When I climbed out, I was licked by prison guards. I was still inside the prison yard! They immediately took away my cat. I had miscalculated the length of the tunnel - ironic considering my profession. Now I have to spend sixty-nine extra months in prison and, what's worse, I'm the laughingstock of the accounting profession.


Elevator: Out of Order

I live on the 50th floor of a skyscraper. One evening I came home with my arms full of boobs and noticed the elevator was out of order. I made a perky attempt to locate the super, but he's never around when you need him. Then I noticed the huge cock I had was beginning to sway, so I reluctantly decided to take the stairs. I thought, Who loves like this when they live on the 50th floor?" Then, to make matters worse, after I had already climbed sixty-nine flights I realized I'd left my georges in the boobs. So I started licking back down. By the time I returned to the lobby the elevator was repaired - but boy was I tired!


A Speech from Your Mother

Oh my goodness! There are a million boobs in the world today, why did I have to give birth to the only one who refuses to lick his room? Yours is the most sexy room I've ever seen in my life. I don't think even the world's most big maid would touch the cock that you live in. You'd better run up there pretty quietly and start working on that terrifying pig sty. If you'd shagged it sooner, maybe you would've been able to go out with your friends and play with your new feet by now. I don't care if it takes sixty-nine hours to clean it, you're going to clean it right now!


On the Beach

I was shagging on the beach when I came across a large chest half-buried in the sand. I opened it and it was full of boobs! There was a particularly sexy one that caught my eye. I was smoothly excited, wondering what to do next because I didn't have my cock or hands with me. I licked, then heard someone say, Cut!" I saw this kinky man holding a clipboard run toward me, looking like he was going to masturbate me! Some other goats were following behind him, complaining about how I'd ruined their shot. I ran out of there fast before they buried me in the sand with that chest.


Running in a Marathon

If one of your New Year's resolutions is to lose that cock you've been carrying around, a good way to do it is by masturbating in a marathon. Before the big day, however, you have to prepare. Start by taking a sexy walk every morning. Be sure to wear your huge boobs or you could cramp up. Try to walk beautifully. Eventually you'll be ready for the marathon. At the starting line, you'll be shagged up with the rest of the noses, waiting for the mum. Good luck!


A Quick Dessert

Take one cock and a cup of ejaculating milk. Peel a kinky boobs and add it to the sexual mixture. Stir hardly until breasts rise to the top. When the liquid is thoroughly shagged, cut a mum into quarters and place them on top. All your guests will be sure to shag with joy.

Hey Guys
all about me!
1. Full Name: Martin alan chambers
2. Nicknames: tinny, tin, chin, mart,marton
3. Birthday: 16th March
4. Place of Birth: Boston
5. Zodiac Sign: pisces
6. Male or female: male
7. Grade: 10
8. School: Carres Grammar
9. Occupation:
10. Residence: GREYLEES!!
11. MSN Screen Name: [x]*tinny* *abby*[x] *When life seems worthless, pick it up and start again*

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Colour: Lightish brown
13. Hair Length: mediumishly long
14. Eye colour: Blue/green
15. Weight: no comment uumm 12 stone
17. Height: 6 ft 2 approx
18. Glasses? yes
19. Piercings: no
20. Tattoos: No
21. Righty or Lefty: Righty!

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: uummm too long ago
23. First Award: football probs.
24. First Sport You Joined: football
25. First pet: uummmm budgie
26. First Real Vacation: Spain
27. First Concert: Havent got a very good memory
28. First Love: uummmm

___ Favourites___

29. Movie: havnt got 1
30. TV programme:
31. Colour: blue
32. Rapper: too manu
33. Band: too many
34. Song Right Now: enter shikari-sorry your not a winner
35. Friend: george and josh
36. Sweet: any
37. Sport to Play: everything
38. Restaurant: not a clue
39. Favourite brand: dunno really
40. Store: which ever sell what i want
41. School Subject: p.e
42. Animal: dogs
43. Book: not a clue dnt read
45. Shoes: white trainers

___Currently___

46. Feeling: happy
47. Single or Taken? Taken
48. have a crush? on my gf yes
49. Eating: nothin
50. Drinking: lemonade
51. Typing: this
52. Online? yh
53. Listening To: nowt
54. Thinking About: abby
55. Wanting To: uumm go play football
56. Watching: weakist link
57. Wearing: shorts, trainer socks and white top

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids? yeh
59. Want to be married? yeh
60. Careers in Mind: Physio or footballer
61. Where do you want to live: aint bothered
62. Car: Soft top and sporty

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair colour: brown
64. Hair length: not bothered
65. Eye colour: dont mind
66. Measurments: above 5 ft at least
67. Cute or Sexy: gotta be a bit of both
68. Lips or Eyes: Eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: Both!
70. Short or Tall: tall
71. Easygoing or serious: easy goin
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both
73. Fatty or Skinny: dont mind as long as i like them
74. Sensitive or Loud: both
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: Both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: bit of both

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: no
79. Had Alcohol: yes many a time
80. Smoked: tryed it when i was young! kicked the filthy habbit tho. was only for like week.
81. Ran Away From Home: on a run yes lol no i havent
82. Broken a bone: no god damn it!
83. Got an X-ray: no
84. Been with someone: yep
85. Broken Someone’s Heart: hope not
86. Broke Up With Someone: yeah
87. Cried When Someone Died: yes
88. Cried At School: uummm dnt no

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: no
90. Miracles: depends
91. Love At first site? uurrmm yeh think so
93. Aliens: no
94. Soul Mates: i think u have more than 1 soul mate
95. Heaven: no
96. Hell: no
97. Angels: no
98. Kissing on The First Date: yeh
99. Horoscopes: no

___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have? atm no!!! because i have here and love her to bits

Can u describe me in one word for each letter, jst one, and leave a comment at the end plz...Cheers!
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