It is impossible for him to wear socks, and that he can open a beer bottle with his testi's."
He isn't by law aloud within 100 yrds of lorraine kelly, and that he has never seen an episode of top gear because he is a huge fan of midsummer murders."
His droppings have been found as far north as York, and that he has a full size tattoo of his face on his face."
After he makes love he bites the head of his mate and that he has given up binge drinking now that the price has gone up to £1.18 a litre.”
To unlock him you have to run your finger down his face, and if he was getting devorced from Paul McCarthy, he would keep his stupid, whining mouth shut.”
He knows 2 facts about ducks, and both of them are wrong, and that he once, accidently, introduced the queen to a greek racialist.”
If you lick his chest, It tastes the exact same as Piccalilli, and at the brit awards he was arrested for goosing Russal Brand.”
He gets terrible eczema on his helmet and that if he'd been the video ref in the world cup rugby final he would of seen that,,, of course it was a try you blind Australian halfwit.”
That he once had a vicious knife fight with Anthea Turner, and that he is in no way implicated in the cash for honours scandal.”
Raw meat is the Stig's favorite food.”
He is terrified of bats.”
His skin has the texture of dolphins.”
There's an airport in Russia named after him.”
If you tune your radio to 88.4 you can actually hear his thoughts.”
He does not see like humans do, instead he sees numbers in green scrolling down.”
He once punched a horse to the ground.”
His politics are terrifying.”
His favourite philosopher is Immanuel Kant.”
He finds the idea of France confusing.”
He isn't machine washable, and that all his potted plants are called steve.”
He's banned from the Chelsea flower show.”
He could crack the Da Vinci code in 43 seconds.”
There's something funny going on between him and Joan Collins.”
He drinks a lot of petrol.”
He has no understanding of clouds.”
His genitals are on upsidedown.”
He irons his shoes.”
His earwax tastes like Turkish Delight.”
His ears have a paisley lining.”
He should NOT be allowed near apples.”
He was born in space.”
He invented Branston Pickle.”
He has 3 USB ports.”
If you touch his stuff, he WILL mess you up.”
He can accumbularate.”
He once had an affair with John Prescott.”
There's an airport in Russia named after him.”
His tears are adhesive.”
If set alight, he'd burn for a thousand days.”
He was raised by wolves.”
He is scared of ducks.”
The outline of his left nipple is exactly the same shape as the Nürburgring”
He has a digital face, and if he wanted to, he could fire Alan Sugar...”
His crash helmet is modeled on Britney Spear's head.”
He urinates 98 RON petrol.”
He appears on Japanese banknotes.”
He sucks the moisture from ducks.”
He is allgergic to the dutch.”
He never blinks.”
He roams around the woods at night foraging for wolves.”
He's named every single blade of grass around the Top Gear test track.”
He is wanted by the CIA.”
He sleeps upside down like a bat.”
He appears on high value stamps in Sweden.”
His ears aren't exactly where you'ld expect them to be.”
He has no fear.”
He can catch fish with his tongue.”
He's a bit too keen of Liam Neeson's films.”
He has a tatoo of Buzz Aldrin on his thigh.”
He is illegal in 17 U.S. states.”
He has breath that smells of magnesium.”
He's puzzled by wind.”
He has webbed buttocks.”
He can smell corners.”
He has a bionic arm.”
He can hear colours.”
He is scared of bells.”
He naturally faces magnetic north.”
He has acid for blood
His teeth glow in the dark.”
He has hydraulic legs.”
He lives in a tree.”
Jimmy Carter wants him dead.”
He eats rocks.”
His sweat can be used to clean precious metals
He is a CIA experiment that went wrong and that