This just in; Self-confessed serial masturbator Frank Pilkington has escaped from rehab facility Shaykwunz Notug in the heart of Zimbabwee. The offender is now wanking his way around rural Africa and locals are being warned to avoid his 'potent spunk-nuggets' at all costs. Mr.Piglington has often been referred to as 'a right wanker' but this status will become immortal if the young man makes it accross Africa. Frank 'The Wank' Pilkington has already made his way accross Europe, Asia and even South America with more than a pull here or a tug there, in a desperate attempt to become the world's most prolific masturbator. There is no doubt that if he Jack's his way accross africa, he will most certainly go down in the pages of history as the biggest wanker the world has ever seen. There are even talks of a collaboration with RnB star Bobby Valentino on a cover of Ludacris track 'Pimpin all over the world' when this promising young man completes the African leg of his world tour. Though there is still much speculation regarding the title of the cover, it will no doubt be released as 'Wankin all over the world' or somethin to that effect. When asked about this Ludacris refused to comment. Bobby Valentino, however, stated that he hopes to work with the newcomer very soon; 'All I know is that theres a g in Africa right now doin his thing. In my eyes hes a straight hustla, he dont giv a shit bout noone or what they think. Luda dont like this cause he thinks hes the hustla. Luda gets someone else to do this shit for him. My dawg Frank takes matters into his own hands. We need mo niggas like this' Indeed we do Bobby, indeed we do.

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