Kia Ora, from the land that time forgot.

No, we don’t have daylight savings in the state of Queensland, for reasons best known to the rum-drinking in-bred hicks that have the final say on that sort of thing up here in the Sunstroke State.

All I know is that it was dumped not long after I moved here and referendums have been held to see wether or not these intellectually-challenged criminal underclasses want to get in step with the developed world and re-instate daylight savings.

The result has always been negative, but the only reasons given have been that the farmers believe it upsets the cows and fades their wive’s curtains… I’m not making that up.

No daylight savings also means that I find myself 3 hours behind NZ. Most would argue that culturally, australia is more like 30 years behind NZ, but that goes without saying. But more importantly, as I write this on the eve of my departure for Wellington, it means that although my flight leaves Brisbane on Friday morning, I’ll clear Wellington airport at about 4pm.

I have successfully achieved what everybody wants to do - made that boring bit between Friday breakfast and the time you start the weekend’s drinking, magically disappear!

Aside from that happy revelation, I first have to take care of a few things. Will I need a jacket? Is a collared shirt required? Jandals or shoes? Are shorts a realistic option? How many pairs of undies do I need?

It’s a lot to consider.

One thing I will need for sure is my drinking hat. I am speaking figuratively of course, because although I do own a very attractive pointy wizard’s hat purchased at the Oktoberfest, I don’t actually wear any head-centric attire to get on the booze. I don’t even use hair product, Your Honour.

No, I’m referring to the state of mind required when one embarks on a serious venture of rugby, good times and avoiding transvestites in extremely dimly lit bars during the early hours of a Sunday morning.

As the ninja does before battle, as the Wellington players will do before the NPC final, and as Guy Ritchie used to do before undertaking sexual intercourse with Madonna as she began to increasingly resemble and elderly male triathlete, I am steeling myself for a challenge of wits, determination, physical endurance, discomfort and guaranteed loss of bodily fluids.

It is a daunting task, that of keeping up with Jed on the drink, and one made all the harder by those that choose to hide behind a cloak of anonymity while feeding you sly tequilas. But I am enervated by the challenge, and I know that, unlike last time, I’m not entering the game carrying an injury.



What will happen? Only time can tell. Stay tuned for the stories, and hopefully some photos.

Here we go, the selection.

It’s easy and fun, so why not have a go yourself. Person that kooks it the most must shout Friday morning tea in the office or place of work.

Hear me now!

1. Tony Woodcock
2. Andrew Hore
3. Neemia Tialata
4. Brad Thorn
5. Ali Williams
6. Jerome Kaino
7. Richie McCaw
8. Rodney So’oialo
9. Jimmy Cowan
10. Dan Carter
11. Sitiveni Sivivatu
12. Ma’a Nonu
13. Conrad Smith
14. Richard Kahui
15. Mils Muliaina
16. John Afoa
17. Kevin Mealamu
18. Jamie Mackintosh
19. Amthony Boric
20. Ross Filipo
21. Kieran Read
22. Liam Messam
23. Adam Thompson
24. Piri Weepu
25. Stephen Donald
26. Tim Bateman
27. Isaia Toeava
28. Joe Rokocoko
29. Hosea Gear
30. Paul Williams
31. John Schwalger
32. Dane Coles
33. Jeremy Thrush
34. Alby Mathewson
35. Stephen Brett

Let’s see who has been keeping an eye on the form.

From The Ireland - Michael Mackey Communicates.

Munster returned for the first game in a partially reopened Thomond park where 19,500 watched them put in a rusty looking win scoring 3 trys against a dogged Glasgow. The first try scored after 3 mins by Peter Stringer from an intercepted suicidal quick throw on Glasgow’s own 5 meter line. Second try in came in the second half when Barry Murphy when in in the corner from a beautiful grubber through from Tipoki. The third came from a fantastic break from full back and man of the match (again) Keith Earls, a lovely off load in the tackle put Doug Howlett through for his 4th try of the campaign. In a stunning start to the season expect to see the young 20 year old back to take some part in Ireland’s Autumn tests.

Leinster were beaten again this week, this time by their fellow Irish provenance Connacht (Con–oct … Con as in Con job, Oct as in the first part of October). Connacht scored the only try of the game in a move that moved them from their own 22 to under the post with only one phase, with lock Mike McCarthy going in under the posts. McCarthy then proceeded to get himself sent off for a second yellow after getting involved in an altercation after the try under the posts. McCarthy decided to welcome Rocky Elsom to Galway with headbutt, Rocky thanked him for his generosity by punching him two or three times to the face, this of course allowed him to spend 10 mins on the bench to admire the beauty of the west of Ireland. Despite being out numbered 15 to 14 for most of the second half Connacht hung on for a famous win. Given the difference in resources between Leinster and Connacht (which is of course a developmental side with less then half the budget of Leinster) this was a fantastic win and much needed shot in the arm for Connacht rugby.

Next week … fully reopened (26,500) Thomond park … HEC is back baby ! The greatest club competition in the world ! I’ll send you the photos from the stands !