This is an actual job application a 17-year-old boy submitted at a McDonald's fast-food establishment in Florida – and they hired him because he was so honest and funny!


NAME: Greg Bulmash

SEX: Not yet. Still waiting for the right person.

DESIRED POSITION: Company's President or Vice President. But seriously, whatever's available. If I were in a position to be picky, I wouldn't be applying here in the first place.

DESIRED SALARY: $185,000 a year plus stock options and a Michael Ovitz style severance package. If that's not possible, make an offer and we can haggle.

EDUCATION: Yes.

LAST POSITION HELD: Target for middle management hostility.

SALARY: Less than I'm worth.

MOST NOTABLE ACHIEVEMENT: My incredible collection of stolen pens and post-it notes.

REASON FOR LEAVING: It sucked.

HOURS AVAILABLE TO WORK: Any.

PREFERRED HOURS: 1:30-3:30 p.m., Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

DO YOU HAVE ANY SPECIAL SKILLS?

Yes, but they're better suited to a more intimate environment.

MAY WE CONTACT YOUR CURRENT EMPLOYER? If I had one, would I be here?

DO YOU HAVE ANY PHYSICAL CONDITIONS THAT WOULD PROHIBIT YOU FROM LIFTING UP TO 50 LBS? Of what?

DO YOU HAVE A CAR?

I think the more appropriate question here would be "Do you have a car that runs?"

HAVE YOU RECEIVED ANY SPECIAL AWARDS OR RECOGNITION?

I may already be a winner of the Publishers Clearing house Sweepstakes.

DO YOU SMOKE?

On the job no, on my breaks yes.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE DOING IN FIVE YEARS?

Living in the Bahamas with a fabulously wealthy dumb sexy blonde super model who thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. Actually, I'd like to be doing that now.

DO YOU CERTIFY THAT THE ABOVE IS TRUE AND COMPLETE TO THE BEST OF YOUR KNOWLEDGE?

Yes – Absolutely.

SIGN HERE: Aries.

Who cares if a BigMac has 540 calories... its the best burger ever created

Before a grower can contract to grow potatoes for McDonalds fries, his soil must be chemically tested for ph balance before McDonalds approves his contract.

FACT: Everyday 0.5 percent of the worlds population visits a McDonalds

Who sells the most hamburgers, chicken, coffee & pizza in Canada? That's right McDonald's.

Mcdonalds are also the largest owner of property in the world (Corporate McDonalds owns all the land that each McDonald's sits on).

The largest toy distributor in the world is McDonald's

1. To quote the bible "And God said unto Moses "Thou shalt eat Mc Donalds, thou shalt not have any fault types of fast food before Mc Donalds""
2. Mc Donalds is said to cure cancer.
3. George (W.) Bush likes loves Mc Donalds.
4. Ronald Mc Donald, is NOT a child molester.
5. Mc Donalds uses 100% irish beef in it's burgers Chicken Nuggets.

8. Mc Donalds shall descend from the heavens and save our souls upon the day of Judgement.
9. A MegaMac a day keeps the doctor away.
10. Every time you eat McDonalds you feed a starving village of Etihopians.
11. McDonalds has a hardline view against terrorism