gurl: wots up with u 2 day sumfing up

guy:naw im grand

gurl:r u sure

guy:well i was at da doctors da other day

gurl:y wots wrong

guy:its just every tym i run i get a pain in my

gurl:in ur wot

guy:my cook

gurl:wot da doctor say r u ok

guy:he he said it 2 big 4 my age

gurl: r u 4 real

guy: yep do u want 2 c

hahahahahahahahahaha

THE CHAT UP LINE OF ALL LINES





****MY FRIEND WANT 2 KNOW WUD U GO WEY ME????******



Would you like to dance??
(if she says no): Sorry I think you miss heard me, I said you look fat in those pants!!

Excuse me for asking - but are you single? (if answer is yes) - ah right, I'm not surprised, you are a minger.

2gals @da bar
guy (to the ugly one): Do you want to dance??
girl: Yea, ok
guy: Ok den...Go on ahead while I talk 2 ur friend here

Don't worry..Good looks are only a light switch away

Does this jumper make my feet look big?? (breaks the ice and gets a chuckle)

guy walk up2 girl holdin a piece of paper
guy: excuse me, but could u help me??
(hands her the paper)
guy: this paper is missing sumthing
girl: what?
guy: ur number

(take 2 ice cubes in your hand, slam them on the bar) "Now I've broken the ice what do you want to talk about"

If I were to ask you for a date, would your answer be the same as the answer to this question?

I can read palms. {write your no. on their hand}
Oh it says your going to call me soon!

How much does a polar bear weigh?
[I don't know, how much?]
Just enough to break the ice. Hi my name is ____.

Do u have any raisins?? No?? How bout a date??

2 gals @ da Bar:
I only av 1 paper bag so if we'r avin a 3sum dis is 4 me.

Wer u brought up on a chicken farm? Cos u certainly raised my cock.

4 Gay men:
Would u mind if I moved ur stool? <Tink bout it!!>

(Sho girl ur watch) Dis watch can tel if ur wearin ne underwear.
Girl: Can it really, well am I?
Guy: Well dis ting's tellin me no.
Girl: Well it must b broken den.
(Look at watch) Guy: O shit hold on it's an hour fast.

U dnt sweat much 4 a fat Doll!

(Motion a girl ova wit 1 finger)
Wen she comes ova say: I'v made u come wit 1 finger imagine wot I cud do wit 2!!

Do u Bleav in luv at 1st site r do u wnt me 2 walk past again?

Nice shoes. Fancy a fuck?

U must b tired cos uv bin runnin thru my mind al nite.

Fuck me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put U and I together.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up?

I miss my teddy bear. Would you sleep with me?

(Regard her outfit) Gee, that's becoming on you, if you wore me, I'd be coming on you too.

Put your crash helmet on, you're going through the head board.

What do you want for breakfast?

Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking man in here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

I may not be Fred Flintstone but I will certainly make your bed rock.

Hi, how do you like your eggs in the morning? Scrambled or fertilized?

Do you sleep on your stomach? Do you mind if I do?

Why are you going, when you could be coming?

Fancy a Pizza and a shag? NO! Why, don't you like Pizza?

My hands are cold, can I put them in your bra to warm up?

How's yer fanny for cracking nuts?

Excuse me, you have the whitest teeth I've ever cum across.

Do you need a gardener? (no) can I trim your bush anyway?

Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap hotel room.

I like your tits, can I touch them?

What's a nice girl like u doin wit a face like dat!?

Go up to a someone at a bar and ask her: do you want a fuck... (wait for a second gauging her reaction)...ing drink?

Hey baby, wanna go halves on a bastard?

Hi, do you want to have my children? (assuming the answer is 'no'), OK then, can we just practice?

I'm gonna have sex with you tonight so, you might as well be there.

Do you cheesy lines or do you just want to do it?

(walk up to the bar and sit down in the seat next to them. While looking at them, order a drink and drink it down) Well, we can't fuck here!

Would you fuck a complete stranger? (No) Then Hi, my name

NAME:
AGE:
SEX:
LOCATION:
ARE WE CLOSE:
WOULD U C ME:
WOULD U RIDE ME:
HAVE U GOT A GF/BF:
WILL WE EVER GET TOGETHER(AGAIN/1ST TIME):
ARE YOU A VIRGIN:
HAVE YOU EVER SEEN ME DRUNK:
HAVE YOU EVER GOT ME DRUNK:
HAVE YOU EVER WANTED TO TELL ME SOMETHING:
HAVE YOU EVER TOLD ME A BIG LIE:
WUD U GIVE ME UR NUMBER:
WANTED MOR DEN FRIENDSHIP:
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF ME AS GF/BF MATERIAL:
WOULD YOU EVER CHEAT ON ME:
WOULD YOU FORGIVE ME IF I CHEATED ON YOU:
WOULD YOU EVER MARRY ME:
WOULD YOU EVER H8 ME:
WHATS YOUR GOODBYE MESSAGE