I stole these from Jessi's profile..
I hope she doesn't mind ..
=]

Peter Kays Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have
a fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy
ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call
your teacher mum or dad.

1 The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at
the first given opportunity.

19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half
way through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.

2 No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has
had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.

32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece
of wood specifically to stir paint with.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting
it in a fruit salad

Some questions, brought to you by Peter Kay
1. Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get
undressed?

2. If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down
to the core of the earth?

3. Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

4. Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your
arse?

5. Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you
do is stand up and say, 'My name is Bob, and I am an alcoholic'?

6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?

7. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

8. Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for
centuries' have a 'use by' date?

9. Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?

10. Is French kissing in France just called kissing?

11. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?

12. What do people in China call their good plates?

13. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time,
but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?

14. What do you call male ballerinas?

15. Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?

16.

New!! do thisss =]

♥ Шουld Чου Єνεг;;

× LεтМεKιѕѕЧου...
× LεтМεSlεερIпТнεSαмεβεdΛѕЧου...
× LονεМε...
× βεМчβf/Gf..
× TακεΛSношεгШιтнМε...
× LοοκΛfтεгМε...

♥ Шнαт Шουld Чου Dο If;;

× IιSαιdIιLονεdЧου...
× IιШαѕМιѕѕιпg...
× IιШαѕDιειпg...
× IιТυгпεdUρОпЧουгDοοгsтερ...
× IιKιѕѕεdЧου...

♥ Шнαт Dο Чου Tнιпκ Оf Мч;;

× Pεгѕопαlιтч...
× Lооκѕ...
× Єчεѕ...
× Hαιг...
× ТнεШноlεОfМε...

♥ Нανε Чου Єνεг;;

× DопεSοмεтнιпgТοМεЧουЯεgгεт...
× ШαптεdTοТεllМεSοмεтнιпgβυтDιdпт...
× DοЧουSтιllШαптТοТεllМεβυтDαгεпт...
× FεlтSοмεтнιпgSтгопgFοгМε...

1. Whats your Name?
2. Are we close?
3. What do you think of me?
4. Do you hav a crush on me?
5. Would u kiss me?
6. would u fuk me?
7. Describe me in 3 words?
8. If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?
9. What was ur first impression of me?
10. Do u still think the same?
11. What reminds u of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do u know me?
14. What do u like best about me?
15. Ever wanted 2 tell me something u could'nt?
16. Could you ever love me?
17. Give me a nickname and explain why?
18. R u gona put this on ur blog and c wat i say bout u?
19. Anything 2 say b4 u go

the fun part (yoo dont have to answer iif yoo dont wanna)

1. Are we friends?

2. Do you have a crush on me/are you attracted to me?

3. Would you kiss me?

4. ...with tongue?

5. Would you enjoy it?

6. Would you ever ask me out or go out with me if I ask you out?

7. Would you make a move on me in a movie theater?

8. Tell me one odd/interesting fact about you:

9. Tell me one interesting sexual fact about you?

10. Do you like to have fun at parties?

11. Do you think I'm hot?

12. Have you ever kissed more than one person in 24 hour?

13. Would you ever listen to my problems even if they don't involve you?

14. Would you come over for no reason just to hang out?

G ii v ii n g .. h e a d .. m a s s a g e s - t h e - j a w .. w h ii l e - b u r n ii n g - 3 2 - c a l o r ii e s..

S w a l l o w ii n g - f o r e ii g n - b o d y - j u ii c e s - ii s - a c t u a l l y - l ii k e - t a k ii n g - v ii t a m ii n s && ii t - w h ii t e n s - y o u r - t e e t h

H a v ii n g - n ii c e - s e x - b u r n s - 358 c a l o r ii e s..

H a v ii n g - r o u g h - s e x [m a k e - ii t - h u r t] b u r n s 543 c a l o r ii e s..

T a k e - o f f - h e r - c l o t h e s ..
w ii t h - h e r - c o n s e n t - .. 12 c a l o r ii e s
w i t h o u t - .. 187 c a l o r ii e s

T a k e - o f f - h e r - B r a ..
W ii t h - t w o - h a n d s - .. 8 c a l o r ii e s
W ii t h - o ne - h a n d - .. 12 c a l o r ii e s
W ii t h - m o u t h - ..85 c a l o r ii e s

P u t - o n - P r o t e c t ii o n ..
h a r d - .. 6 c a l o r ii e s
s o f t - .. 315 c a l o r ii e s

F o r e p l a y ..
L o o k ii n g - f o r - t a r g e t - .. 8 c a l o r ii e s
F ii n d ii n g - G s p o t - .. 92 c a l o r ii e s
I - d o n ' t - F * * * ii n g - c a r e .. 0 c a l o r ii e s

E n t r y ..
H o l d ii n g - h e r - .. 12 c a l o r ii e s
O n - t h e - f l o o r - .. 8 c a l

W ii t h - D ii f f e r e n t - P o s ii t ii o n ..
M ii s s ii o n a r y - .. 358 c a l o r ii e s
D o g g y - .. 316 c a l o r ii e s
6 9 - l y ii n g - ..286 c a l o r ii e s
6 9 - s t a n d ii n g - ..512 c a l o r ii e s
I t a l ii a n - h a n g e r - ..912 c a l o r ii e s

O r g a s m ..
R e a l - .. 112 c a l o r ii e s
F a k ii n g - .. 315 c a l o r ii e s

A f t e r - " O " ...
L y ii n g - ii n - B e d .. 18 c a l o r ii e s
H o p - o f f - t h e - b e d - .. 36 cal
W o n d e r ii n g - w h y - s h e - l e f t - p ii s s e d o f f - ..816 c a l o r ii e s

G e t - d r e s s e d ..
Q u ii e t && c a l m - .. 32 c a l o r ii e s
R u s h ii n g - .. 98 c a l o r ii e s
H e a r d - h e r - b o y f r ii e n d - o p e n ii n g - t h e - d o o r - ..1218 c a l o r ii e s
H e a r d - h e r - d a d / 2 y r - o l d - b a b y - s ii s t e r - a t t h e - d o o r - ..1942 c a l o r ii e s