cheak list of being Maori

You know u is a maori when??
*You go to the senior ball with your cousin

*A nice restaurant is an 'all you can eat' place

*A sleeve is a form of tissue for your nose

*You have to do dishes more than 3 times a day

*Boil-up is your preferred healthy food choice

*Breakfast is the left over boil-up from the night before

*Your sent to pick watercress for a funeral, at 3 o'clock in the morning -You get to the watercress patch at 3.30am and the marae down the road have already beaten you to it

*You organise for a get together at 2 o'clock, and everyone shows up at 5 o'clock

*You can sprint barefoot on sharp rocks

*You visit cuzzies, and someone's wearing the clothes you left behind last time you were there

*Your undies are hanging on the clothes-line but you know you haven't been wearing them

*You and your cousins sit around, and dis everyone who walks past

*You give the longest shout outs on the radio

*You have 6 people in the back seat of a two-door sports car

*In a photo, someone's pulling some kind of gang related hand signal

*Your mum cuts your hair cos you keep getting kutus

*Your at a party, and your aunty turns the stereo off then starts playing the guitar

*You know all the words to 10 guitars

*You see someone wearing your shoes that went missing at the marae

*The words 'oi' 'eow' 'umm' 'chur' 'sweet' 'nah & yeah' are all part of your vocabulary

*You go to school to eat the other kids lunch

*You go to school to watch the teacher teach the other kids

*Bullrush is your favourite sport

*You think your tribe is the best in the world

*Your older brother makes you cry and your the one who gets a hiding for crying

*Hello and goodbye are both said by raising your eyebrows.

*Your jandals / gumboots are: your running shoes, your work shoes, your flippers and your going out shoes.

*Your swimming togs are shorts and t-shirt. (and your in Maui, Hawaii, where all they wear is a bikini).

*You run to do bombs at the public pools where it says no running and no bombing.

*Brushing your hair is ... just putting on a beanie.

*You start driving, smoking and drinking when you are in form one (year six)

*You cant speak Maori but are fluent when you are drunk

*You laugh at everyone who cant sing

*You laugh at everyone who cant dance

*You laugh at everyone who cant do both at the same time

*You go to a party and at least a couple of your relatives are sleeping on the table

*You go to the same party three days later and its still going

*You go diving with one flipper, a broken snorkel and no goggles

*Playing the spoons is right up there as percussion for the guitar.

*You act clueless when pulled up for having no WOF or Rego

*You'll know your definitely a Mäori if you've read this email right to the bitter end, because...... Mäori don't like to miss out on anything.....