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- u know youre drunk wen ya fall off the floor !!
- Me, Myself, and I
- back ta college in sept, doin a chefn course, guna b livn in 12 rockfield , all welcome ta call in !!! dats me update !!
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- have 2 work sundays, hav ta pay bills, get fines, run outa petrol !!
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- how well do u no me? 13 Taken
1. The shotgunner must be in clear sight of the car, and shotgun can be called regardless of whether the driver is in sight of the car
2. If you are the first to be picked up on a journey you are automatically given shotgun. You retain this position for the entire journey, unless you violate rules 12, 17, 23 or any other rules stipulating the loss of shotgun.
3. You cannot declare shotgun if someone has previously declared shotgun for that journey.
4. When simultaneous shotgun is called, there is then a foot race to the passenger side door from all the people who called.
5. Shotgun cannot be called whilst inside a building (unless you are in a multi-storey or underground car park!)
6. Shotgun cannot be called in advance, only whilst on the way to the car for the journey.
7. Once shotgun has been called the driver has the option of a reload. The driver yells “reload” and this means that all previous calls of shotgun are void and the first person to call shotgun again gets the seat. This is helpful if the driver really doesn’t like the person who first called shotgun. It is often used when there is a simultaneous call and the driver is unsure of the outcome. Note that a shotgun has only 2 barrels so a reload can only be called once.
8. Ja rob rule...if he’s in the car shotgun now means back left, so he cant punch you every time a yellow car goes past.
9. Once shotgun has been called for the front seat then back left and back right can be called. This effectively leaves the slowest person to travel in the middle (of the “bitch” seat).
10. Because everyone is created equal, men have the same right to the front seat of the car as women (ie women don't own the front seat!).
11. If the regular driver of the vehicle is drunk or otherwise unable to perform their duties as driver, then he/she is automatically given shotgun.
12. Once the journey has begun, the driver is the obvious controller of the tunes. However if they feel the road requires their full attention, or they simply cannot be arsed any more, duty is passed to the shotgunner. However putting on crap tunes or allowing for silence when the iPod finishes a song or ANY instances of TAKE THAT will result in demotion to bitch seat.
13. Anyone calling shotgun must have his or her shoes on. This is to stop people running outside and calling shotgun, then having to go back inside to put their shoes on and slowing the journey. This is known as the Shoe Rule.
14. Shotgun overrules Dibs, Baggsies and other girly calls!
15. Despite the debate, shotgun CAN be used to shotgun things other than the front seat (eg back left, back right, women, not going to answer the door, etc).
16. When travelling with a couple, one of the couple MUST shotgun the front. No one wants to chauffer two of their mates whilst they are in the back all over each other.
17. If someone has successfully called shotgun, they have the right to the front seat. They do not have the right to correct the driver on their navigation skills ("take a left here you dickhead!") or driving ability ("I'd be in third gear if I was driving"). If the passenger does this, then they forfeit their position as shotgun holder.
18. If someone says, "what’s shotgun?" after it has been called then they have to walk.
19. If the shotgunner attempts to open the door just as the driver is unlocking it and jams the lock half open so that the driver needs to lock it and unlock it again, the shotgunner forfeits their position. This is known as shotgun suicide.
20. The holder of shotgun assumes the responsibility for all gate opening, off license nipping into, takeaway ordering and question asking. He/she is in essence the copilot and therefore the enforcer of behavior in the vehicle and exacter of slaps/punches/water spraying/bag throwing at the passengers in the back.
21. Automatic "couple's rights act 1997". This law states that, if the driver is the boyfriend/girlfriend of a passenger in the car, this person has
0 Comments 205 weeks
if you have five dollars and chuck norris has five dollars, chuck norris has more money than you.
there is no control button on chuck norris,s computer, chuck norris is always in control.
chuck norris can sneeze with his eyes open
chuck norris can kill two stones with one bird
chuck norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it
CHUCK NORRIS CAN BELIEVE ITS NOT BUTTER
when chuck norris talks everybody listens and .......dies
the only thing that cuts chuck norris is chuck norris
chuck norris ordered a big mac at mac donalds and got one
chuck norris doesnt believe in germany
chuck norris doesn,t get aids, aids gets chuck norris
some people wear superman pajamas, superman wears chuck norris pajamas
chuck norris can slam a revolving door
chuck norris doesn't step on toes, chuck norris steps on necks
chuck norris did in fact build rome in a day
once you go norris you are physically unable to go back
everybody loves raymond except chuck norris
chuck norris doesn't wear a watch he decides wot time it is
when chuck norris does divisions there are no remainders
chuck norris never wet his bed as a child, the bed wet itself outa fear
0 Comments 236 weeks
I drink 2 make other people interesting (george jean nathan)
Sometimes 2 much drink is barely enough(Mark Twain)
There is no absolutes in life only vodka(Mick Jaggar)
beer has helped ugly people get sex since 400bc
when i think i drink and when i drink i think(Francois rabelais)
There cant be good living where there is not good drinking(Benjamin Franklin)
You know youre drunk when u fall off the floor(anonymous)
i envy people who drink at least they know who to blame everything on(Oscar Levant)
A woman drove me 2 drink and i never even had the courtesey 2 thank her(W.C.Fields)
Drink makes a man more pleasing 2 himself i did not say it makes him more pleasing 2 others(Samuel johnson)
0 Comments 279 weeks
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