"Bosco is a Bollox! Bosco is a Bollox!" What Zig and Zag were caught
shouting (with Ian Dempsey laughing in the background) when the cameras
returned prematurely from a commercial break during 'Dempsey's Den'. Zag
was tossing the Bosco puppet around.


Ian Dempsey: "What would you give Andrew and Sarah as a wedding present?"
Caller: "I'd love to give Fergie AIDS and put a bomb up Andy's hole'"


"Stephen Roche, the only British or Irish cyclist to win the Tour De France."
ITV commentator.


Larry Gogan: "With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?"
Contestant: "Hamlet."


Larry Gogan: "Name the BBC's Grand Prix commentator? .... I'll give you a
hint. It's something you suck...."
Contestant: "Oh, DickieDavies." (Murray Walker is the correct answer).


Larry Gogan: "What was Jeeve's occupation?"
Contestant: "He was a carpenter."


Larry Gogan: "Complete this well known phrase. 'As happy as.....' hint
think of me."
Contestant: "Flies on sh1te."


Larry Gogan: (after a caller got none of 18 questions right on the Just a
Minute quiz) - "Ah sure the questions didn't really suit you did they?"
Caller: "Ah go fuck off Larry you're only an old bollox."


Gerry Ryan: (during a discussion on whether people would like to be buried
or cremated when they die) - "Would you like to be buried or cremated?"
Caller: "Oh, buried Gerry."
Gerry Ryan: "And where would you like to be buried?"
Caller: "Up to me balls in Bibi Baskin!"


Larry Gogan: "What do you call a female cow?" ....


"When I said they'd scored two goals, of course I meant they'd scored one."
RTE Commentator George Hamilton


If you're a fifty pence piece in a pile of ten pence pieces,you have to
shine so much brighter in order to be noticed." Bono.


"I can hold a note and I know I'm not ugly so, in ways, that's enough."
Keith Duffy of Boyzone.


"That mail used to be handled by hand, now it's handled manually."
Chief Executive of An Post, John Hines.


"The referendum went as most people hoped it would."
Irish Times editorial displaying acute understanding of the Democratic
Process.


"Clap your feet!"
Bernie of the Nolan Sisters.


"British Army bomb disposal squads who attempt to defuse carbombs early and
before areas are properly evacuated will be responsible for endangering
civilian lives."
IRA statement 1988.


"He's pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!"
George Hamilton as Butreguanio comes off against Ireland.


"The idea is well and good in theory, but tell me this, who is going to
feed them?"
Wicklow Councillor objects to a proposal to boost tourism by putting
gondolas on Blessington Lake.


"We are not prepared to stand idly by and be murdered in our beds."
Rev. Ian Paisley.


"What we are doing is in the interest of everybody, bar possibly the
consumer."
Aer Lingus spokesman.


"Deep down I'm a very shallow person." Charles Haughey.


"I'm always suspicious of games where you're the only ones that play it."
Jack Charlton on hurling.


"Outside HIV in Grafton Street."
Gay Byrne plugging Hot House Flowers appearance.


THOSE DISGRACEFUL MADONNA PICTURES - FOUR PAGE SPECIAL INSIDE The
Sun


VIOLENCE DELAYS PEACE - LENIHAN
Irish Times


CONCERNED RAPIST WORE A CONDOM
Evening Herald


MRS REAGAN BETTER AFTER FALL
Irish Times


SHARING THE BURDEN OF SCHIZOPHRENIA
Irish Times


DOG SHOOTS MAN
Evening Press


TEENAGE MUTANT BINGE AT THURLES
Feile '92


RAPIST: I THOUGHT SHE WAS MY WIFE
Star


MAN KEPT ARMS UNDER BED AFTER RELATIVE'S DEATH
Irish Times


DEAD MAN INJURED IN CRASH
Irish Times


"A top level Garda internal inquiry is being held in Connemara into an
allegation that a local garda shot a cow .... There has been no statement
from the cow." Irish press.


"Mrs Windsor can come and go as she wants."
Gerry Adams on a visit by the Queen to Northern I

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