Soccer V GAA 447 days ago


1) The GAA player who played in front of 80,000 at the weekend will be
teaching your children, selling you meat or fixing your drains on Monday
morning. The soccer player who plays in front of 80,000 will be moaning
about playing too many games and will be trying to sell you his
personalised brand of leisure wear

2) GAA nicknames are better. Soccer players just add a Y to their surnames

3) Dublin vs Meath is a real derby. What does Utd. Vs City mean to
Ronaldo or Sibierski

4) How many soccer players does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer
eleven. One to stick it in and ten to surround and kiss him after he does
it

5) Soccer players go to the papers after a game. GAA players go to the
pub

6) John Terry would run a mile if he came up against Francie Bellew

7) GAA teams are numbered 1-15. A soccer team reads like the lottery
results

All soccer players wear shin pads. Some hurlers wear helmets

9) Television runs soccer. Schoolteachers run the GAA

10) The GAA is about where you're from. Soccer is about who you like

11) No segregation at GAA games

12) No soccer team has a nickname quite as lovely as the Fighting Cocks of
Carlow

13) Bubble perms never made it to Croke Park

14) A scoreless draw in the GAA would be quite a novelty

15) Roman Abramovich can buy the League. You can't buy Sam!!

Peter Kay Universal Truths

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.
2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.
3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
4) You've never quite sure whether it's ok to eat green crisps.
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80's has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.
6) Reading when you're drunk is horrible.
7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.
You're never quite sure whether it's against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.
10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.
11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.
12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.
14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.
15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.
16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.
1 The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.
20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee, flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong.
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.
23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.
24) You never ever run out of salt.
25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.
26) You can't respect a man who carries a dog.
27) There's no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you've got your hand or head stuck in something.
2 No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.
29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.
30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.
31) People who don't drive slam car doors too hard.
32) You've turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.
34) Bricks are horrible to carry.
35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.
36) Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad

My Husband -jimmy nolan
My wana be Girlfriend-sarah keane....shshsh
My Wife -
My Mummy -
My Daddy -
My bitch -
My twin -KEVIN TYNAN...HA
My Little brother-
my sister in law-vicky(sein as shes marryd 2 tynan and hes me twin)
My Little sister-
My Ould Biddy of a grandmother-of cource kevin
My Uncle -
My Aunt -
My Cousin -
My Daughter -
My Son -
My Brother-in-law -
My Sister-in-law -
My Sexy best friend -
My Best friend -
My Bit on the side -
My Flurty Frend-
My Niece -
My Nephew -
My Guardian -
My Personal shopper -
My Slave-
My alcoholic friend - stubert flynn
My Grandmother-
My Lil cutie pie-emma s....xxx
My Nigga-BILL(Ronan Scally)
My God mother -
Da God father -
My Siamese twin -
My sxc hunny-
My Valentine -
My Chatterbox -
My admirer -
My Messer upper -madeleine(obviously)hahaha
My gay bestfriend-
My Cleaner -
My Lover-
My Horny Friend-laura T
My Crazy Buddy-
My Bebo Bud- -
My wanna b girlfriend-
My Masseuse-
My Dog-MY LITTLE DEANIFER
My goldfish-
My Next Door Neighbour-
My Sexy bitch-
My lil girlie-
My dear-
My inspiration-D BOULD BEGLAN(HU ELSE)
My god-brenno
My Stalker-
My Fairy god mother-heffo(he insisted)
My sex slave-Aoife D.XXX
My mad friend-
My sham-
My BIG MAN- HAS 2 BE DARRAGH G
My local priest-