1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly.

2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage."

3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..."

5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.

6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. <

7. Speak only in a "robot" voice.

8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.

9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub".

10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies.

11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.

12. Sniffle incessantly.

13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.

14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."

16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."

17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training."

18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace".

19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot."

20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol.

21. Practice making fax and modem noises.

22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss.

23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.

24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.

25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person."

26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy."

27. Wear a special hip holster for your
remote control.

28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.

29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.

30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.

31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice.

32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.

33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."

34. Drum on every available surface.

35. Staple papers in the middle of the page.

36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates.

37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings.

38. Sew anti-theft detector strips
into peoples backpacks.

39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places.

40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.

41. Set alarms for random times.

42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon.

43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.

44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise.

45. Honk and wave to strangers.

46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange.

47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.

48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies.

49. Wear your pants backwards.

50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register.

51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"

52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE.

53. only type in lowercase.

54. dont use any punctuation either

55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.

56. Pay for your dinner with pennies.

57. Tie ji

1) When there's only one other person in the lift, tap them on
the shoulder
and then pretend it wasn't you.

2) Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and
go back
for more.

3) Ask if you can push the buttons for other people, but push the
wrong
ones.

4) Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they
know what
floor you're on.

5) Hold the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend.
After awhile,
let the doors close and say, "Hi Greg. How's your day been?"

6) Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up,
then
scream, "That's mine!"

7) Move your desk in to the lift and whenever someone gets on,
ask if they
have an appointment.

Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on ask them
if they
hear something ticking.

9) Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency
procedures and
exit with the passengers.

10) Ask, "Did you feel that?"

11) Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.

12) When the doors close, announce to the others, "It's okay.
Don't panic,
they open up again."

13) Swat at flies that don't exist.

14) Call out, "Group hug!" then enforce it.

15) Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering
"Shut
up,all of you, just shut up!"

16) Crack open your briefcase or handbag, and while peering
inside, ask,"Got
enough air in there?"

17) Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall,
without
getting off.

1 Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in
horror, "You're
one of THEM!" and back away slowly.

19) Wear a puppet on your hand and use it to talk to the other
passengers.

20) Listen to the lift walls with your stethoscope.

21) Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

22) Grinning, stare at another passenger for a while, and then
announce, "I
have new socks on."

23) Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to
the other
passengers, "This is my personal space."