I can handle this...handle is my middle name...actually it's the middle of my first name

No, I didn't have to because I was wearing my 'I heart Ross' sandwich board and ringing my bell.

That's hot!

Did you ever think there could be more to life than being really really ridiculously good looking?

That's so fetch !

Well it wasn't because I like his natural musk.

I'm McLovin'!!! Woooo! I am McLovin!

Pay back is a bitch.

Gangstas...wassup guys?!

How about I come in there and kick you little 5'4' ass?

Woah, woah. Kamikaze? I'm more like a ninja...

Let's do something crazy, like Britney with the umbrella... Okay, go! I'm the car! I'm the car!

Few fries short of a Happy Meal.

Little Jenny Humphrey manages to get my pants off and have me not enjoy it. Quite the accomplishment.

Where's your car dude? Dude, where's your car? Dude THIS IS NOT FUNNY, WHERE IS MY CAR DUDE! Haha you've lost your car! SHUT UP DUDE!

Where's your car dude? Dude, where's your car? Dude THIS IS NOT FUNNY, WHERE IS MY CAR DUDE! Haha you've lost your car! SHUT UP DUDE!

Maybe Tell Janey A Little S-E-C-R-A-T..-P

All I Said Was 'I'm Pretending To Whisper A Big Secret In Your Ear, So Jake Here Thinks That I'm Telling You A Big Secret, Which Will Cause Him To Break Into A Hysterical Confession Where He Actually Reveals.. A Big Secret. Thus Confirming Everything I Just Whispered In Your Ear.

Looks Like You've Got A Thing For Butt Ugly Girls, Mr. I've Got A Thing Fot Butt Ugly Girls!

I'm just swimming here with my gay friends.

I Need To T-To-The-Fourth-Power-Y.. Time To Talk To You!

If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic!

If you ever lay your head on my back while riding bitch, I'll throw you into traffic!

You Put The 'Suck' In 'Liposuction', You Put The 'Ooo' In 'Jiu-Jitsu', You Put The 'Ism' In 'This Is All Just A Defense Mechanism'

Wut da...? What the hell? Someone wanna explain to me why I'm the one in the dirt? When I got sore jaws from 3 hours of blowin...

Little Miss Run Home To Her Daddy, Ran Home To Her Daddy

This Is Not A Cheer-ocracy, I Am The Cheer-tator, I Will Make The Cheer-isions Around Here, And I Will Deal With The Cheer-onsequences!

Looks Like You've Got A Thing For Butt Ugly Girls, Mr. I've Got A Thing Fot Butt Ugly Girls!

We Are The North Compton Wild Cats. We're Black, We Know It. We Shake Our Big Booties And We Show It. We Ain't White. We Ain't White. We Definitely Ain't White. Break It Down Niggas.

If you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

Hansel he's so hot right now

SHH! Who is making that noise!? Oh, it's me...

All we have to do is wait untill they are deep into their sleep... (silence)... HOW LONG IS THIS GOING TO TAKE??

And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.

They are just a bunch of pansies!

You scared me for a minute there. I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods.

Why are you so sweaty? ; I was watching Cops.