(Ik heb nu ook een housplaat gemaakt) (4X)
hue, perd
Ik heb nu ook een housplaat gemaakt (3X)
je vin'em vas goe, en je wil 'em vas remixe

hue, perd
daar heb je Dimitri
eens eve vrage
He! Dimitri!
-Joah?!
Ik heb nu ook een housplaatje gemaakt
je vin'em vas goe, en je wil 'em vas remixe
dan moeje 's eve luistere Dimitri!
-ALLES NAAR DE KLOTE E E E E!
ALLES NAAR DE KLOTE!
-Dan moeje 's eve luistere Dimitri! (7X)
-ALLES NAAR DE KLOTE!
-Dan moeje 's eve luistere Dimitri!

Alles... Alles... Alles naar de...Klo... Alles naar de klote!
Alles... Alles... Alles naar de klote!..ALLES NAAR DE KLOTE!
Iiiiiik dacht het wel!
ALLES NAAR DE KLOTE!
-Hm? alle koeien van de stal
-ALLES NAAR DE KLOTE!
ALLES NAAR DE KLOTE!

-He! Dimitri!
-Joah?!
Ik heb nu ook een housplaatje gemaakt
je vin'em vas goe, en je wil 'em vas remixe

Subject: teachers and police

These 12 are actual comments made on students' report cards by teachers in the New York City public school system. All teachers were reprimanded but, boy, are they funny!
1. Since my last report, your child has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this student to breed.
3. Your child has delusions of adequacy.
4. Your son is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
5. Your son sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
6. The student has a 'full six-pack' but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
7. This child has been working with glue too much.
8. When your daughter's IQ reaches 50, she should sell.
9. The gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming.
10. If this student were any stupider he'd have to be watered twice a week.
11. It's impossible to believe the sperm that created this child beat out 1,000,000 others.
12. The wheel is turning but the hamster is definitely dead.




These 16 were taken off actual police car videos around the country: [these are some mighty 'quick witted' cops!]

16. 'You know, stop lights don't come any redder than the one you just went through.'
15. 'Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a while.'
14. 'If you take your hands off the car, I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document.'
13. 'If you run, you'll only go to jail tired.'
12. 'Can you run faster than 1200 ft/second? Because that's the speed of the bullet that'll be chasing you.'
11. 'You don't know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?'
10. 'Yes sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?'
9. 'Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket.'
8. 'The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?'
7. 'Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn dogs and step in elephant poop.'
6. 'Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven.'
5. 'In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC.'
4. 'How big were those 'two beers' you say you had?'
3. 'No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to, but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we can.'
2. 'I'm glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.'
AND THE WINNER IS....
1. 'You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't.........Sign here.' [Ouch!]

German Swearing English Translation
Blödes arschloch Stupid asshole
Affenschwanz Monkey-dick
Arsch Ass
Leck mich am arsch Kiss my ass! (lit. Lick my ass!)
Arschficker Ass-fucker
Arschgesicht Ass-face
Arschkriecher Ass-crawler
Arschloch Asshole
Dumpfbacke Dumb-ass
Fettarsch Fat-ass
Das war ein geiler Fick That was a great fuck
Willst Du ficken oder was? Do you want to fuck or what?
Er legt alle Mädchen flach He screws all the girls
Wer hat gefurzt? Who farted?
Hängetitten Droopy tits
Herunterholen To masturbate
Mein Leben ist nur ein Haufen Kacke My life is just a pile of crap
Kacken To take a crap
Fotze Pussy, cunt
Muschi Pussy (kitty)
Oberarsch Supreme idiot (super ass)
Hau ab, Du Pfeife Take a hike, dick
Pinkeln To urinate
Pisse Piss
Schleimer Kiss Ass
Wichser Wanker
Pissen To piss
Puff Whorehouse
Puffmutter Whorehouse Madame
Du fauler Sack You lazy bastard
Scheiße Shit
Scheisse Shit
Scheiß Prefix used as lousy, shitty, crappy, etc
Was machst Du da für Scheiße? What the fuck are you doing?
Ich finde Dich Scheiße I think you're shit
Scheißdreck Crap, Bullshit (lit. crap dirt)
Er redet immer Scheißdreck. He's always talking crap
Das geht dich einen Scheißdreck an That's not your fucking business
Das geht dich einen feuchten Dreck an That's none of your goddamn business
Ich gebe nicht einen Scheiß! I don't give a shit
Ich Scheiße darauf Shit on that
Scheißhaus Toilet (lit. Shithouse)
Scheißkerl Asshole (lit. Shit-guy)
Schleimscheißer Ass-kisser (lit. slime-shitter)
Schwanz Penis, dick, cock
Steife P enis, dick, cock
Pimmel Penis, dick, cock
Titten Tits
Die hat ja Titten wie Melonen She's got tits like melons
Tripper Gonorrhea
Ficken T o fuck
Wichser Jack-off
Du bist ein verdammter Wichser You're a real jack-off
Schweinehund Pigdog
Fotze Cunt
Blode Fotze Stupid cunt
Hurensohn Son of a bitch
Hure Whore
Depp Idiot
Drecksau Dirty pig
Arschgesicht Assface
Fick dich Fuck you
Fick mich Fuck me
Schlampe Tramp or Slut
Halt die klappe Affe