Up at five n really so keen,
To c d bond of man n machine
3 hours to drive to get to d start
We all have a laugh n so full of heart
We know it is early, d weather is damp
But we need to see cars come off d ramp
Through fog n rain we push on with style
We know the main man is due in a while
Then comes a whistle, d marshal says time
A car is now coming through forests of pine
Its howl is so frightening, like a banshee on heat
There is no escape, as we shuffle our feet
And suddenly now its why we are here
McRae over crest of course in top gear!
Its been worth d wait, d weather, d toil,
To see d brave Scot flat out on home soil
But now there is silence, and its deafening too
Cos you and d wee man have bid us adieu.
So rest in peace Colin you and your lad
You gave us your best, Johnny be proud of your dad.
D memories you left us are all just d best
Now ur in heaven with ur boy and at rest
you left us d true meaning of flat over crest.

F.I.A = F**k it anyway

B.F.T = Big F**king Tree

Donegal = where men are men and sheep are shaking

More on the way

Rally Definitions

ACCELERATOR: Half bottle of powers (See Booster Fuel)

ARROWS: Warning signs for competitors that there may be a sudden change of direction. However some competitors think that these are placed by cowboys and often ignore them, when in fact these are placed there by the indians!

BRAKE: Middle pedal thats pressed when all else fails.

BOOSTER FUEL: Other half of the bottle of powers.

BOY RACERS: Gobshites (See Gobshite) who think they are rally drivers.

CLERK OF THE COuRSE: Man who thinks hes in charge of the rally.

CO-DRIVER: Man or woman who sits beside the driver and knows that he/she could actually drive a lot better if given a chance. Has several law degrees.

CRASH: Its where Donegal man puts his kids during the day.

CRASH HELMET: Used to restrict drivers capabilities to think. Often tightened by co-driver until face of driver turns purple. (See Driver)

CAUTION BOARD: Warning sign (See Arrows) denoting location where everything is flat. (See Flat)

DEPUTY CLERK OF THE COURSE: Man (See Clerk Of The Coarse) who is convinced that HE is actually in charge of the rally.

DRIVER: Inferior sub-human, often convinced that he can drive through mountains, ditches and walls. May crash on occasion.

ELECTRICAL PROBLEM: Drove Con-rod through alternator.

GREEN BOOK: Porno mag.

FLAT: Beloved war cry of co-drivers (See Co-Driver) just before accident.

FUEL: The other half of the second bottle of powers.

GOBSHITE: See boy-racer.

IMPOSSIBLE: Not an option. (See Clerk Of The Coarse)

HALFSHAFT: a, ahem...ok its a semi.

LIMITED SLIP: Condition associated with walking on Guinness-coated bar floors. Accentuated if you wear Dunlops (wellies).

LOCAL LAND-OWNER: Man with pitchfork, unusaul sense sense of dress, and the most fascinating vocabulary. usually talks bout his recent heart attack!!!

MSI STEWARD: Only man who actually knows whos in charge.

MARSHAL MAN: Who couldnt invent an excuse quick enough to avoid getting the job.

MECHANICAL FAILURE: Ran out of petrol.

NOVICE DRIVER: Virgin, looks around 17, drives souped-up 1990 Ford Fiesta.

ORGANISERS: Worried looking people.

PACE NOTES: Books of notes describing the actual direction of the rally. Read by co-driver - ignored by drivrs...

PARC FERME: Reserved parking spaces for mechanics to work on rally cars overnight.

PRIZEGIVING: Where everyone from marshals to mechanics get pissed.

QUERY: Gay co-driver.

RALLY H.Q.: Biggest pub in town.

RALLY CAR: Expensive piece of machinery. Tends to hit off solid objects, walls, ditches, etc. Expensive to keep.

RALLY FOLLOWER: Woman or BOY who drives around after rally cars and believes that are better drivers than any rally driver in the world, has all the stickers to prove it.

REGULATIONS: Comic paper distributed by organizers in the hope that it will amuse crews. Understood by lawers.

ROAD BOOK: Issued by rally organisers to communicate to rally crews their intended route for the rally...