Mostly Pat in Ibiza

1) When asked by Cavs why he didnt jump into the pool off the railing Pat replies "Oh yeah and break every leg in my body"!!

2) When we came home from the water party Pat says to me "Sully ya better get a shower before ya get Amnesia"!!

3) Pat was meeting up with a Tunisian bird and he asked us "Boys is Tunisia in the E.U"!!

4) In a conversation about women Pat says " If i was a bird id be taking mickey left right and centre"!!

5)On the way home on the plane, Pat looks out at the wing and sees a red light on the end and says "Oh look theres a red moon out tonite"!! Then he said "No wait thats just the wing mirror"!!

6)Pat when we were on the way to Tiesto he said "if i had money i could get a young lad to shave my balls"!!

7)Cavs: Ya cant beat dis lads, seven nights in d sun!!


In the citywest hotel:

1)Kingers: I might just get soup and rolls...

Cavs: Na i want somethin hot and meaty inside me...!!!

2)Kingers: Whos Keith Deller??!!!

3)Miley in d casino: Ah boys i cant win a thing, mite aswel be throwin it into d amazon desert..!!!


Cavs to some bird in Limerick: Is der a big black fella in yer jacks aswel!!!

Cavs wen asked does he want a sandwich in a pub in cloughjordan: No im on a diet, The bobby sands diet!!!

Rachel watchin the Dairy Milk Ad: How did they get that gorilla to play the drums!!!

More to follow shortly...

GAA Phrasebook

Bollix: - The Referee or any kerry players or supporters

Mighty :- Very good

Hames :- A right shite, e.g. “He made a hames of that”

Timber: - Intimidation of a hurling opponent, e.g. “Pull on yer timber”

Lamp :- A good thump, e.g. “I swung for the sliotar, missed by 3 feet and lamped the full back”

A Crowd :- A gathering of people who watch a match and hope for random acts of violence, e.g. Edenderry supporters!

Schkelp: - To remove living tissue in the absence of surgical procedures, e.g. “That shite from clare took a schkelp outta me leg”

Hatchet Man :- Mountainy type, uses hunter/gatherer instincts

Bullin’: - Angry, e.g. “The centre half was bullin’ after I lamped him”

Bull Thick: - Very angry, e.g. “The centre half was bull thick after I lamped him again”

Joult: - A push, e.g. “I gave him a joult and he has to wear a neck brace for 2 weeks”

The Comm-A-Teee: - Local GAA bullshitters in general

Bushted :- An undefined soreness, e.g. “Jayz me arm is bushted”

The Bomber :- Popular name for a fat hairy GAA player

A Hang Sangwidge :- Consumed with “tay” on the sides of roads after matches in Croker, usually contains half a pound of butter

Rake: - A great amount of anything, usually pints of Guinness the night before an important match

Indanamajaysus (in-da-nama-Jaysus): - What was that for referee?

Ya Bollix Ya :- Corner back’s formal recognition of a score by his opponent

Leh-It-In-Ta-Fuck-Wud-Ya :- Full forwards appeal to a midfielder for a more timely delivery of the pass

Mullocker: - Untidy or awkward player released for matches

Burst The Bollix :- Instructions from the sideline to tackle your man

Row :- Disagreement involving four or more players

Shamozzle: - Disagreement involving both teams, including goalies, substitutes and supporters jumping fences

All-Hell-Broke-Loose :- A massive row that continues out in the parking area or dressing room areas, usually resolved by the Gardai

You are my Solskjaer my Ole Solskjaer,
You make me happy when skies are grey,
And Alan Shearer was fucking dearer,
So Please don't take my Solskjaer away

You are a Scouser,
An ugly Scouser,
You're only happy,
On Giro day.
Your mum's out thieving,
Your dad's drug-dealing,
So please don't take my hubcaps away.

Mourinho are you listening,
You'd better keep our trophy glistening;
'Coz we'll be back in May, to take it away,
walking in a Fergie Wonderland!

And it's Man United,
Man United F.C.
We're by far the greatest team,
The world has ever seen


Oh Manchester, Oh Manchester,
Oh Manchester is wonderful,
It's full of tits, fanny, and United,
Oh Manchester is wonderful.

Rio, Rio,
He is a Red you know,
He met El Tel,
And said "farewell"
Rio, Rio, Rio, Rio.....

Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, running down the wing,
Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, running down the wing,
Feared by the blues, loved by the reds,
Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs.

Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs, running down the wing
Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs, crosses like The King
Beats one and two, beats three and four,
He will score, he will score, he will score.

Ryan Giggs Ryan Giggs, greatest ever goal
Semi-Final Villa Park, ran right through them all
Beat half the team, straight in the net
Won't forget, won't forget, no we won't forget.

Gary Neville is a Red
is a Red, is a Red,
Gary Neville is a Red,
he hates scousers.

Who put the ball in the scouser's net
Who put the ball in the scouser's net
Who put the ball in the scouser's net
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
(as heard at Anfield in the FA Cup 4th round 1999)

Who put the ball in the Germans' net
Who put the ball in the Germans' net
Who put the ball in the Germans' net
Ole Gunnar Solskjaer
(as heard in Barcelona May 26 1999 after Ole scored the European Cup winning goal!)

Oh Rooney's fucking magic, He wears a magic hat. And when he saw Old Trafford, He said I fancy that. He didn't stay with Everton, Because there fucking shite. He signed for Man United, Cos were fucking dynamite.....................

Park Park, where ever you may be, You eat dogs in your own country, But your not as bad as the f*****g Scouse, Eating rats in their Council house ............................. .............................

He plays on the left, he plays on the right, that boy RONALDO makes beckham look shite.......

Que Sera, Sera
Whatever we'll be, we'll be,
We're going to Wembley
Que Sera, Sera...

We've won it nine times,
We've won it nine times,
Six more than anyone,
We've won it nine times!
(sang to the Chelsea fans at the 2007 FA Cup Final)

I saw my mate the other day,
He said that he'd seen the white pele,
So I asked, "Who is he?"
He goes by the name of Wayne Rooney.
Wayne Rooney, Wayne Rooney, goes by the name of Wayne Rooney.

Louis Saha,
Louis Saha,
Wa Hey Hey,
Louis Saha!

He's won it nine times,
He's won it nine times,
That boy Giggsy,
He's won it nine times.

Viera - oh, oh, oh, oh-
Viera - oh, oh, oh, oh-
He gave Giggsy the ball
And Arsenal won f*ck all...

He shoots,
He scores,
He eats labradors,
Ji Sung Park, Ji Sung Park...

Nemanja ohhh, Nemanja ohhh,
He comes from Serbia...
He'll Fuckin' Murder Ya!

What's that coming over the hill?
Is it Nemanja?
Is it Neman-ja?

He scores goals, my Lord,
He scores goals!
He scores goals, my Lord,
He scores goals!
Paul Scholes - he scores goals...

If you want to go to heaven when you die,
You should keep the red flag flying high.
You should wear a red bonnet,
With fuck the scousers on it.,
If you want to go to heaven when you die.

Sign on, sign on, with hope in your heart,
cause you'll never get a job, you'll
never get a job, sign on, sign on, with hope in your heart....

U-N-I, T-E-D
United are the team for me,
With a nick nack paddywack, give a dog a bone,
Why don't city fuck off home.

One Arsene Wenger -
There's only one Arsene Wenger,
W