The Big Beat Manifesto is 'Big Beats are the best, get high all the time'

Come on, look at her arse. Is that the best arse you're ever going to get? Do you stick on that arse? She's got a fat arse. Say it.

They’re all a bunch of Marks, sitting behind their marble desks with their ties done up to 11, clicking their fingers to the fucking Lighthouse Family, getting their dicks sucked by a big Alsatian dog. They're all in with each other. It's not who you know, it's who you blow.

Jez... as a mate... and someone I can really trust... can you tell me... Is the bottom half of me on fire?

Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all play with our twangers

It's like watching a bunch of retards trying to fuck a doorknob out there!

So finally justice is served. Well, not actual justice, just what I wanted. Which is basically the same thing

Listen Sophie, the truth is I do like you. I do like you and if you don't like it then you can you know... Fuck Off.

Mc Lovin? What are you an Irish R'n'B singer?

(Eating sand) You're absolutely right, Marjory, the floor sugar does taste rather queer in this area...

I don't like Vodafone's tagline... 'The worlds biggest mobile commmunity' ...surely that's the gypsys?

Friend. Football Friend. I'M NOT YOUR FUCKING FOOTBALL FRIEND!

People don't get fingered for a bet Jay! With the possible exception of your sister. Your mum, on the other hand, would probably get fingered for a packet of biscuits.

*Sits on rollercoaster* 'FINE! FUCKING FINE! I'LL JUST GET ON, I'LL JUST GET ON AND SIT AT THE FRONT NEXT TO THESE INCONSIDERATE ARSEHOLES' *realizes he is sitting next to people with downes*