Different metalheads are trying to save a beautiful princess from a dragon. Let’s see how they all fare…

* POWER METAL
The protagonist arrives riding a white unicorn, escapes from the dragon, saves the princess and makes love to her in an enchanted forest.

* THRASH METAL
The protagonist arrives, fights the dragon, saves the princess and fucks her.

* HEAVY METAL
The protagonist arrives on a Harley, kills the dragon, drinks a few
beers and fucks the princess.

* FOLK METAL
The protagonist arrives with some friends playing acordions, violins, flutes and many more weird instruments, the dragon falls asleep (because of all the dancing). Then they all leave........ without the princess.

* VIKING METAL
The protagonist arrives in a ship, kills the dragon with his mighty axe, skins the dragon and eats it, rapes the princess to death, steals her belongings and burns the castle before leaving.

* DEATH METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon, fucks the princess and kills her, then leaves.

* BLACK METAL
The protagonist arrives at midnight, kills the dragon and impales it in front of the castle. Then he sodomizes the princess, drinks her blood in a ritual before killing her. Then he impales the princess next to the dragon.

* GORE METAL
The protagonist arrives, kills the dragon and spreads his guts in front of the castle, fucks the princess and kills her. Then he fucks the dead body again, slashes her belly and eats her guts. Then he fucks the carcass for the third time, burns the corpse and fucks it for the last time.

* GRIND METAL
The protagonist arrives, screams something completely undecipherable for about 2 minutes and then leaves...

* DOOM METAL
The protagonist arrives, sees the size of the dragon and thinks he could never beat him, then he gets depressed and commits suicide. The dragon eats his body and the princess as dessert. Thats the end of the sad story.

* GOTHIC METAL
The princess in a velvet costume starts singing soprano. The protagonist completes the duet by adding the beast part, while the dragon plays the flute. Suddenly he swallows up the pipe and accidently scorches the beauty and the beast and suffocates to death. All their souls are damned in hell's eternity.

* PROGRESSIVE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a guitar and plays a solo of 26 minutes. The dragon kills himself out of boredom. The protagonist arrives to the princess' bedroom, plays another solo with all the techniques and tunes he learned in the last year of the conservatory. The princess escapes looking for the HEAVY METAL protagonist.

* INDUSTRIAL METAL
The protagonist arrives wearing greasy overcoat, makes obscene gestures towards dragon, and gets escorted out of fairy tale land by security guards.

* SPEED METAL
Suddenly there, short solo, dragon is confused, someone's screaming weird stuff, princess realizes she's been deflowered, dragon and princess are still looking for the one who did this.

* CHRISTIAN METAL
The protagonist rides in on his way home from church and sings a mushy power ballad to the dragon about how much Jesus loves him and that the dragon should turn to Him. The Dragon is immediately converted, and when the princess wants to thank the protagonist he replies, "Sorry, but I don't believe in having sex before marriage."

* GLAM METAL
The protagonist arrives, the dragon laughs at the guy's appearance and lets him enter. He steals the princess' make up and tries to paint the castle in a beautiful pink colour.

* BATTLE METAL
The protagonist arrives with a legion of a hundred brave footmen, war chariots and a dozen elite warriors and, as a master tactician, flanks the dragon in a bloody siege that lasts six hours. The princess gets bored.

* NU METAL
The protagonist arrives in a run down Honda Civic and attempts to fight the dragon but he burns to death when his moronic baggy clothes catch fire.

* EMO
The protagonist sees

The Haunted
Killswitch Engage
Celtic Frost (x2)
Kreator
The Poodles
Krokus
Anterior (x2)
Morbid Angel (x2)
Achren
Dying Fetus (x2)
Saxon
Opeth
3 Inches Of Blood
Hammerfall (x2)
Judas Priest (x2)
Alestorm (x2)
The Scorpions
Rush (x2)
Alter Bridge
Griever
The Sontaran Experiment
Gallhammer
Robert Plant
Daath
Evile
Exodus
Despised Icon
Job For A Cowboy (x2)
Unearth
Hanzel Und Gretel
Cradle Of Filth
Megadeth
Iced Earth
Skid Row
Man Of The Hour (x2)
Grand Magus
Firewind (x2)
Alice Cooper
Trivium (x2)
Iron Maiden (x3)
Chimaira
Concept Of Time (X2)
Burning Earth
Nouvella
Alba Gu Brath
Shadows Fall
Arch Enemy (x3)
Dragonforce
Apocalyptica
In Flames
Lamb Of God (x3)
Machine Head (x2)
Fast Way
Sabaton (x2)
Novembers Doom
Devillish Impressions (x2)
Suicide Silence
Behemoth (x2)
Tesla
Nile
Yngwie Malmsteen
Obituary
Saxon
Man Must Die
Skeletonwitch
Cephalic Carnage
Hate Eternal
Altar Of Plagues
Dimension F3H
Mayhem
Methedras
Dismember
Amorphis
Within Temptation (x2)
Static X
Motorhead
Type O Negative
Chris Cornell
Anathema
Porcupine Tree
Down
Aerosmith
Lauren Harris
Stone Sour
Life Of Agony
Heaven And Hell (Dio version of Black Sabbath) (x2)
Korn
DevilDriver (x2)
Abgott
Turisas (x2)
Rotting Christ
Primordial
Black Label Society
Moonsorrow
Korpiklaani (x3)
My Dying Bride
Children Of Bodom (x2)
Slayer
Immortal
Engel
Amon Amarth (x2)
Dimmu Borgir
Ozzy Osbourne

Gigs I have coming up

Firewind - Cathouse

Opeth - ABC

Enslaved - Ivory Blacks

Sabaton - Ivory Blacks

Saxon and Motorhead - Carling Academy

Turisas and Dragonforce - Carling Academy

Alestorm - Ivory Blacks

1. Whats your Name?
2. Are we close?
3. What do you think of me?
4. Do you hav a crush on me?
5. Would u kiss me?
7. Describe me in 3 words?
8. If u Had Me for 30 Mins wat would you do?
9. What was ur first impression of me?
10. Do u still think the same?
11. What reminds u of me?
12. If you could give me anything what would it be?
13. How well do u know me?
14. What do u like best about me?
15. Ever wanted 2 tell me something u could'nt?
16. Could you ever love me?
17. Give me a nickname and explain why?
18. R u gona put this on ur blog and c wat i say bout u?
19. Anything 2 say b4 u go?