Charlotte: How can you forget a guy you've slept with?
Carrie: Toto, I don't think we're in single-digits anymore.

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Taxi Driver: No smoking in cab.
Carrie: I'm sorry, we are talking up the butt. A cigarette is in order.
Charlotte: I just don't want to be known as the "up-the-butt girl".

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Stanford: I don't like having anything inserted in my anus, even though it may come as a surprise.

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Samantha: One time I fucked a guy because he had a swimming pool. I came over and he used to bring me Kool-Aid.
Carrie: Kool-Aid?
Samantha: I was thirteen.

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Miranda: My fuck buddy moved to Chicago. Now, we have phone sex.

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Samantha: You dated Mr. Big. I'm dating Mr. Too Big.

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Charlotte: You have Steve.
Miranda: I don't "have" Steve. There is no having of the Steve. We're good friends.
Samantha: No, *we're* good friends, but I don't put my dick in you.

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Miranda: You haven't had a crush since Big.
Carrie: Big wasn't a crush. He was a crash.

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Samantha: I'm a "trisexual". I'll try anything once.

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Samantha: Until he says "I love you", you're a free agent.
Carrie: What is this? The Rules According to Samantha?
Samantha: See? I'm more old-fashioned than you think.

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Carrie: One woman's Titanic is another woman's Love Boat.

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[Charlotte York has just discovered that Samantha Jones has slept with her brother Wesley]
Charlotte: Is your vagina listed in the New York City guide books? Because it should be - hottest spot in town. Always open.

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Samantha: I'm dating a guy with the funkiest tasting spunk.

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Charlotte: My marriage is a fake Fendi. He can't even get it up.

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Miranda: I know you're probably busy having mind-blowing sex, but I feel you need to know that your good friend, Miranda Hobbes, has just taken a piece of cake out of the garbage and eaten it. You'll probably need this information when you check me into the "Betty Crocker Clinic."

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Charlotte: Trey, I am tired of being married to your penis.

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Samantha: I have a date with a dildo.

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Charlotte: [with a hangover] My hair hurts.

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Charlotte: Schooner and Rebecca need each other.

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Carrie: I'm thinking balls are to men, what purses are to women. It's just a little bag but we'd feel naked in public without it.

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Samantha: There isn't enough wall space in NYC to hang all of my exes. Let me tell you, a lot of them were hung.

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