Well, 2008 has now departed us, but the memories will live on. Here's a summary of some of the famous quotes from the past 12 months. Feel free to highlight your favourites and other memories of the year. . .

"I need paracetamol like an arsehole needs cum!" - Stephen Aitken 19/01/2008

"Bring back the day of clubbing who ye wanted to shag!" - Jizz 23/01/2008

"I spy with my little eye, something beginning with ....... HP!" Tori Rossiter 27/01/2008

"I'm a cheaper ride than Stagecoach!" Scott Annandale 01/02/2008

"If I wasn't straight, I would!" Tori Rossiter 09/02/008

"Rohypnol. . . . I've never tried that before!" Ashleigh Summers 10/02/2008

"Who's that fingering my arsehole?" Jamie Clark 15/02/2008

"What's the opposite of cock?" Jamie Clark 16/02/2008

"I expected the world on a roll!" Jizz 18/02/2008

"I trust your raping abilities!" Scott Annandale 01/03/2008

"A wee mole here and a wee mole there!" Amy's pal 01/03/2008

"I want a big-ass breakfast!" Martyn Sroka 09/03/2008

"Look at her tits!" Douglas Honeyman 09/03/2008

"She was total tugging me!" Martyn McLean 14/04/2008

"Whats wrong with your hair?" Kenny Miller 15/04/2008

"Have you got a shot of pube-scissors?" Stephen Aitken 21/04/2008

"Stop spreading date-rape!" Jill Thomson 29/03/2008

"Whats that Dunfermline song on your Ipod? Screw the Brew?" Ashleigh Summers 10/04/2008

("Is the floor wood or concrete?" - Towell) "Nah it's cardboard!" Scott Annandale 11/04/2008

"Towell, you're repulsive!" Douglas Honeyman 11/04/2008

"I'm so drunk it hurts!" Jemma Johnston 12/04/2008

"What you dain ya wee fanny?" Kalin Smith 13/04/2008

"My New Year's Resolution for this week is..." Kirsty Davidson 18/04/2008

"There's nae shitting about the arsehole with that shot!" Stephen Aitken 24/04/2008

"Are you pulling my cock?" Scott Annandale 28/04/2008

(What do you think of Vladamir Romanov?) "He's a beautiful man!" Jizz 02/05/2008

"It's not socially acceptable!" Gogs 03/05/2008

"All I saw was a big, disease-ridden minge!" Amber Methven 08/05/2008

(Peado) "I aspire to be that!" Martyn McLean 10/05/2008

"I'm not the Mighty Boosh!" Kelly Fraser 10/05/2008

"What's a semi?" Ashleigh Summers 15/05/2008

"It'd be shit to be a farm animal eh?" Martyn McLean 16/05/2008

"I wish I had a penis!" Amber Methven 17/05/2008

" He's Serbian, he'll get some illegal genocide on the go!" Scott Bisset 21/05/2008

"This is Scott . . . he's a bastard!" Janette Donnelly 23/05/2008

"We should get a day off work for Madonna's birthday!" Susan Kelly 30/05/2008

"You should see the Highlands, smart as fuck!" Paul O'Sullivan 07/06/2008

"I wish I was a slut!" Clair Martin 12/06/2008

"Teeth will be provided!" Lenny 16/06/2008

"He has a ball for a head!!!!" The Portugal People (except Laura) 10/06/2008-17/06/2008

"I feel like an owl!" Martyn Sroka 19/06/2008

"These transexuals are good looking these days!" David Pollock 19/06/2008

"Ten past your mum!" Jill Thomson 23/06/2008

"Have you got Pool Glory?" Ashleigh Summers 25/06/2008

"I'm baby faggot!" Martyn McLean 27/06/2008

"I like women, not men!" Halley Apartments Security Guard 28/06/2008

"Can you get a semi over macaroni?" Ashleigh Summers 29/06/2008

"Can I get a kiss?" Flower Seller to Martyn 01/07/2008

"I'm sorry sweetheart!" Paul Towell - Every day 25/06/2008 - 02/07/2008!

"Do you ever actually stop speaking?" Martyn McLean 14/07/2008

"Who do they think they are? Chipmunks?" Amy Connor 19/07/2008

"I don't think I have a stomach!" Jade Hill 20/07/2008

" I don't like long hair, it goes in my ears!" Scott Annandale 20/07/2008

"I'll pull you off!" Scott Findlay 03/08/2008

"I'm convinced that I've cummed more than once!" Christopher Donnelly 03/08/2008

"You'd be a rubbish rapist!" Amber Methven 09/08/2008

"I was 17 for a year!" Lori McCann 10/08/2008

"It's like chasing a daddy-long-legs!" Aaron Clunie 1

1. Full Name: David B Alexander
2. Nicknames: Man of the World
3. Birthday: 11th of July 1988
4. Place of Birth: Kirkcaldy
5. Zodiac Sign: Cancer
6. Male or female: Male
7. Grade: Fresher
8. College: Heriot-Watt
9. Occupation: Still a General Finance Assistant at Tullis Russell Papermakers Ltd. at heart!
10.Residence: Kennowegain born and bred, but currently in the capital!
11.Marital Status: Taken

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Colour: Not quite blonde, Not quite brown, lets say "fair"
13. Hair Length: 12 inches
14. Eye colour: Brown
15. Weight: 670 pounds
16. Height: 5"10
17. Braces? Back in the day, I sure did!
18. Glasses? Occasionally, when I want to appear more sophisticated. (Thats not often)
19. Piercings: A mini-Terminator!
20. Tattoos: Not yet, coming round to the idea though so we'll see.
21. Righty or Lefty: Righty

___Your 'Firsts'___

22. First best friend: Stevie Fortch back in the younger years!
23. First Award: Hmm..Probably a "Bonnie Baby" competition! Either that or Wemyss United Sportsman of the Year 99/00!
24. First Sport You Joined: Never "joined" a sport! Who says "Oh, I joined football last night!" Thats not right!
25. First Pet: Goldie the Goldfish - a hero before his time!
26. First Real Vacation: Probably Butlins - It was awesome!
27. First Concert: Orson, Basement Jaxx and Robbie all in one - enjoyable!
28. First Love: Mars Bars

___ Favourites___

29. Movie: Anchorman and Clerks 2 are genius!! More recently, Forgetting Sarah Marshall and Pineapple Express! Other appeals are the classics such as Star Wars, Pirates of the Caribbean and Shrek.
30. TV Programme: The Apprentice, and Hollyoaks of course.
31. Colour: Never understood this favourite colour thing - I have favourite colours for specific things (like I'd prefer a Blue football to a pink one) but in general, how do u pick a favourite colour? The mind baffles!
32. Rapper: Eminem's the only rapper I've ever really enjoyed, apart from Dave Pollock's Millfield efforts!
33. Band: The Fratellis, Jason Mraz, The Courteeners, Reverend and the Makers, The Killers, Kings of Leon, The Pigeon Detectives and The Lonely Island are regulars on the ipod at the minute.
34. Song Right Now: I'm On A Boat - The Lonely Island
35. Friend: Take your pick from my top 32.
36. Sweet: Yoghurt.
37. Sport To Play: Indoor Naked Beach Volleyball. Uni team captain.
38. Restaurant: Does Subway count?
39. Brand Of Perfume: I don't wear "Perfume" - thats for girls!
40. Store: Greggs
41. School: BHS - The place of legends!
42. Animal: Wallaby
43. Book: "At Least The Trains Were On Time!" by Adolf Hitler
44. Magazine: FHM
45. Shoes: The cheaper the better really - unless your paying?

___Currently___

46. Feeling: Tired after only 3 hours sleep due to partying on a boat!
47. Single or Taken: Taken
48. Have a Crush: You could sort of say that. I like lemons!
49. Eating: Believe it or not, nothing!!
50. Drinking: Lucozade Sport - The drink of champions!
51. Typing: This sort of question doesn't merit a response! Oh wait...
52. Online? Read above!
53. Listening To: Two and a Half Men on tv.
54. Thinking About: Well you know how you can bait fish? Well, if your an expert in that, are you classed as a Master Baiter??
55. Waiting To: As usual, go to bed.
56. Watching: Myself typing, surprisingly.
57. Wearing: My snazzy blue shorts and one of my many slogan shirts

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids? Yes, all called Alex!
59. Want to be married? One day.
60. Careers in Mind: Accountancy could be the way forward
61. Where do you want to live: Probably the big city, love the place. But Kennoway is the centre of the universe!
62. Car: If I can drive I'll be happy!!

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair colour: All depends on whether it suits the girl.
64. Hair length: Longer than mine if that counts?
65. Eye colour: To be honest, eye colour doesn't really do it for me!
66. Measurements

Wherever theres wood we’ll be found,
Whenever bark threatens your children we’ll be near,
Whenever sap plans to take over the world we’ll be waiting,
If you’ve got wood we’ll sort it!

Who are we...we’re Clerky the Woodsman and his trusty sidekick Chipper Dave.

Defending the earth…from wood!