next week will not be mine to have.

starting tomorro (and having just got home @ 12 midnight...:

SUNDAY: double shift 12am - 11pm
MONDAY: double shift as sunday
TUESDAY: only on 12-8, BUT have to be in bed early for:
WEDNESDAY: 7.30 am start for managers' meeting in aberdeen in morning, then to my dad's for his birthday, staying over night and
THURSDAY:: travelling back, and if anyone knows the brechin to dundee buses that can take all bloody day to get home.
FRIDAY: 10-4 shift at work,. straight home to go to fancy dress BBQ, which is prob gonna go through till saturday morning,
SATURDAY: 4 to 12 shift
SUNDAY: 12am - 11pm shift again
then MONDAY: haven't decided, but probably a short one. OR I will be dead.

I'm really looking forward to the BBQ, but I have a horrilble feeling i'm gonna be so knackered i'll have one glass of wine and i'll be sleeping in the garden. I'm also looking forward to seeing my dad, but I just wish I could get more time to spend with him. Hurry up and get those books finished ross!

so don't expect to hear much from me next week. i'm not dead. i'm just crying in a corner.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long and, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell me how.

Keep your old love letters. Throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of calcium. Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40, maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance, even if you have nowhere to do it but your living room.

Read the directions, even if you don't follow them.

Do not read beauty magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when they'll be gone for good. Be nice to your siblings. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard. Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Prices will rise. Politicians will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse. But you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia. Dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it's worth.

London was ... different. The course was boring. And pointless. One of those American motivational self-help deeleys.

But Dom and I did some random stuff while we were in London, unlike our classmates, who sat in the hotel bar and drank for 2 nights.

So.. what did we do?

We:

Ate in a place called Ultimate Burger on Tottenham Court Road. hate to say it, but it was SO much better than WannaBurger in Edinburgh, and cheaper too!

After the burger, we meant to go home, but we were too full and didn't want to go to sleep on a ful stomach, so we went a-wandering.

We ended up in soho (we think) or possibly camden, kept being accosted by ticket touts trying to sell tickets to see the Enemy at G-A-Y... I probably would have bought the tickets if I'd realised who they were... lol.

I got us hideously lost after emerging from a pedestrian subway, so we stopped in the first bar we saw, and it turned out to be this random little place that sold nothing but their own-label brand beer and spirits... no smirnoff here guys!!! all their bottles had groovy labels on them too. I just wish I could remember what the name of the place was!

We finally found our way back to the Dominion theatre (30seconds up from where our course was being held) so we safely made it back to our hotel for the first night. Was a bit of an adventure, considering we'd both been up since 4.30am!

ON the wednesday night, we decided to walk up the street parallel to Oxford street. Realising the street we were on (think it was wigmore street) went for MILEs, and having found Harley street, we decided to cut through and see if we could get back onto Oxford Street. Oh,t hat was a mistake. We endedup in the cutest little restaurant district with little up-market shops with the most gorgeous smells emanating from them... and a Godiva Chocolate shop. My Holy Grail.

I had never tried Godiva chocolate, so i spent my last £6 on 15 tiny little squares of the stuff. But god dammit, it was SOOOO worth it! When I told Dom how much it had cost, he almost plotzed, but I let him have a square, and he had to admit it was good stuff. We actually nibbled on it like mice to make it last as long as we could!

We were a bit hyper after this, so we started being a bit random, pretending to be pirates, and asking random people where we could buy candy floss. Hey, if you're in a random city, do a random thing. And at least we put a smile on some people's faces for a little bit. What is it with Londoners and not smiling?!

Thursday we got out of "class" early and as it was our last day, and having no money, we went for it. We walked up Oxford street, across a bit, and ended up in Bond Street, probably bringing down house prices by about 50% with out hot, bedraggled appearances and our ratty backpacks.

We passed Tiffany's (not impressed with their new jewellery line by the way. I make stuff similar to theirs!!!), Paco Robane... and for crying out loud, japanese people were taking photos of the Burberry shop front! It wasn't even Burberry tartanised or anything!

So we left bond street and found ourselves in Picadilly circus. So not impressed. Its a lot smaller than it looks on TV (hehe like a lot of things I imagine ), and it was grotty. Oh, sure there were some really nice shops but it just looked.... ugh.

To be honest, i wouldn't go back to London by choice. Its a very dirty,noisy, humid place. Being outside for 10 minutes, and you want to go back inside and take a shower! I must have washed my hands at least 20 times a day while I was there, and scrubbed my face at least 5. OK, so the streets are clean, and MOST people are friendly, but the air itself seems to stick to you like those little polystyrene balls do, and you just can't get rid of that feeling of being grimy.

The food there is quite eclectic (I had sushi at every opportunity, there were so many Bento bars around, and I dont get decent sushi here), and if i'd had the money I would have stuff