THE JOKER:
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We are tonight's entertainment! I only have one question. Where is Harvey Dent?

You look nervous. Is it the scars? You want to know how I got 'em?Come here. Hey! Look at me. So I had a wife, beautiful, like you, who tells me I worry too much. Who tells me I ought to smile more. Who gambles and gets in deep with the sharks... look at me! One day, they carve her face. And we have no money for surgeries. She can't take it. I just want to see her smile again, hmm? I just want her to know that I don't care about the scars. So... I stick a razor in my mouth and do this...
to myself. And you know what? She can't stand the sight of me! She leaves. Now I see the funny side. Now I'm always smiling!

And...here… we...go!

Do you wanna know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little... emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?

Wanna know how I got these scars? My father was....a drinker. And a fiend. And one night he goes off crazier than usual. Mommy gets the kitchen knife to defend herself. He doesn't like that. Not. One. Bit. So, me watching, he takes the knife to her, laughing while he does it. Turns to me and he says "Why so serious?" Comes at me with the knife,"Why so serious?" He sticks the blade in my mouth. "Let’s put a smile on that face!" And..... Why so serious?

I had a vision, of a world without Batman. The mob ground out a little profit and the police tried to shut them down, one block at a time. And it was so... boring. I've had a change of heart. I don't want Mr.Reese spoiling everything, but why should I have all the fun? Let's give someone else a chance. If Coleman Reese isn't dead in sixty minutes then I blow up a hospital

Grumpy: I'm bettin' The Joker told you to kill me soon as we loaded the cash.
The Joker: No no no no, I kill the bus driver.
Grumpy: Bus driver? What bus driver?

I wanted to see what you'd do. And you didn't disappoint... You let five people die. Then, you let Dent take your place. Even to a guy like me, that's cold...

BATMAN
You'll hunt me. You'll condemn me. Set the dogs on me. Because that's what needs to happen.

I grew up here, I turned out OK

Criminals aren't complicated Alfred. We just need to figure out what he's after.

I'm whatever Gotham needs me to be.

Targeting me won't get their money back. I knew the mob wouldn't go down without a fight, but this is different. They crossed the line

HARVEY DENT
The famous Bruce Wayne. Rachel's told me everything about you.

Tell your son it's going to be okay, Gordon. Lie, like I lied.

The Joker's just a mad dog. I want whoever let him off the leash

You either die a hero or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain

The night is darkest just before the dawn. And I promise you, the dawn is coming.

You thought we could be decent men in an indecent time. But you were wrong. The world is cruel, and the only morality in a cruel world is chance.

Yeah, well, the good thing about the mob is they keep giving you second chances.

Salvatore Maroni: Look, if I tell you, will you let me go?
Two-Face: Can't hurt your chances.
Salvatore Maroni: It was Ramirez.
Salvatore Maroni: [panicking] But you said...
Two-Face: I said it couldn't hurt your chances.
[flips coin; good side]
Two-Face: You're a lucky man.
[flips again; bad side]
Two-Face: He's not.
Salvatore Maroni: Who?
Two-Face: Your driver

girlfrend application!!!!do it!!! 259 days ago

Name:

Age:

Location:

Height:

Hair:

Eyes:

Sexiest Feature:

Skool Attend:

Other
1. Are u a virgin?

2. Where would we go on a date?

3. Do you drink/smoke?

4. Would you give me a lap dance?

5. Would u let me stay da nite wit u?

6. Would u act lik a spa when u get around yo friends?

7. Could we cuddle, and fall asleep nd more?

8. Would u shift me all nite long?

9. Do you play any sports?

10. How would u describe yo self?

11. Would you ride me?

12. Would you get wit me?

13. have u eva cheeted on sum1?

14. Are u fine, sexy, cute, or straight?

Anchorman Quotes

Ron Burgundy: I don't normally do this, but I felt compelled to tell you something. You have an absolutely breath-taking... heiney. I mean, that thing's good. I wanna be friends with it.

Ron Burgundy: Um, Brick, before I let you go, are you still having your celebrity golf tournament?
Brick Tamland: Um, no, no. Too many people died last year, so we're not gonna.

Ron Burgundy: [looking at his reflection in the mirror] Mmmmm... I look good. I mean really good. Hey everyone... come and see how good I look.

Ron Burgundy: Oop... I almost forgot. I won't be able to make it fellas. Veronica and I trying this new fad called uh, jogging. I believe it's jogging or yogging. it might be a soft j. I'm not sure but apparently you just run for an extended period of time. It's supposed to be wild.


Brick Tamland: I ate fiberglass insulation. It wasn't cotton candy like the guy said... my tummy itches.


Brick Tamland: [opposing women in the newsroom] I read somewhere their periods attract bears. Bears can smell the menstruation.
Brian Fantana: Well, that's just great. You hear that, Ed? Bears. Now you're putting the whole station in jeopardy.


Veronica Corningstone: Mr. Burgundy. You have a massive erection.


Brick Tamland: I'm Brick Tamland. People seem to like me because I am polite and I am rarely late. I like to eat ice cream and I really enjoy a nice pair of slacks. Years later, a doctor will tell me that I have an I.Q. of 48 and am what some people call mentally retarded.


Brick Tamland: I love... carpet.
[pause]
Brick Tamland: I love... desk.
Ron Burgundy: Brick, are you just looking at things in the office and saying that you love them?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp.
Ron Burgundy: Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?
Brick Tamland: I love lamp. I love lamp.


Brian Fantana: I think I was in love once.
Ron Burgundy: Really? What was her name?
Brian Fantana: I don't remember.
Ron Burgundy: That's not a good start, but keep going...
Brian Fantana: She was Brazilian, or Chinese, or something weird. I met her in the bathroom of a K-Mart and we made out for hours. Then we parted ways, never to see each other again.
Ron Burgundy: I'm pretty sure that's not love.
Brian Fantana: Damn it.

Brian Fantana: No, she gets a special cologne... It's called Sex Panther by Odeon. It's illegal in nine countries... Yep, it's made with bits of real panther, so you know it's good.
Ron Burgundy: It's quite pungent.
Brian Fantana: Oh yeah.
Ron Burgundy: It's a formidable scent... It stings the nostrils. In a good way.
Brian Fantana: Yep.
Ron Burgundy: Brian, I'm gonna be honest with you, that smells like pure gasoline.
Brian Fantana: They've done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.
Ron Burgundy: That doesn't make sense.