CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid, when drunk
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look out so you dont get caught

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick/dude you tried to pick up

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and it does

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn...we fucked up...but hey, that shit was fun as fuck!"

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will tell you,"Stop being a bitch!!!"

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for a tag team.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS:Know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you!

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Might try to hit on your girl behind your back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Have already hit on your girl right in front of you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you!

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Would walk right in and raid your fridge

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Would get tossed out with you

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will share their last euro with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will say "Okay just one more" and then 2 minutes later; "Okay just one more".

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will give you their last cigarette.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will give you anything but their last cigarette.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!!

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will repost this

Do you remember how it was when you bled?
When you loved and burned in those flames that you've kept
Because Vesta's long been sleeping
And now you've come to accept that
Your anatomy defines more than a few of the gaping holes in our social fabric
And it defines more than a few one night stands,
more than a few prison bars melted into wedding bands

We've made you all the peasants and we've made ourselves the kings
Our queens are still subordinate as an angel (without wings)
We make it easy to belong which means it's easy to be wrong
"Put some plastic in your tits, and you'd look better as a blonde"

I remember when you were hopeful
And you never thought your life would be lived inside a coffin
With a moral sacrifice and a million social obligations, labels and expectations
You were young and modern seventeen in vogue and vague pursuit of a cosmopolitan dream

So when you bled on the bed as you fed those expectations as a whore and not a human
You embraced with hesitation the very parameters of all you can be
Not a mother, not an aunt, not a sister who's not subdued
Because dignity's not physical and your flesh means more than you

Your flesh means more than you; your flesh means more than you
Your flesh means more than...
and I know....
Know we'll all wake up one day with a gun to the back of our brains
You'll be asking for your rib and I'll smile and I'll call you brave
Maybe someday when, when this bloody skull has dried I'll know our city is in ruins
And the greatest source of pride is a monument of dicks and ribs and gender crowns we wore
Where underneath, a plaque will read, a plaque will read, "No woman is a whore"

1.Cle is your left.

2.The Corporal never does anything for his/her own enjoyment.

3.This is not a Chinese parliament.

4."Get it done" Is the favorite phrase of an NCO.

5.When on the ground, use the designated toilet area.

6.Do not stroll out 20 yards in front of your bivvy and go to toilet.

7.When getting ambushed in the night don't start screaming "Charlie's in the trees!"

8.Likewise, don't start yelling "The Germans are coming"

9.Velcro is there for a reason.

10.Camo up everything is not to be taken literally.

11.The NCO is always right

12.The Officer is always right.

13.When Officer and NCO contradict each other, use better judgment.

14.If the NCOs wanted us to smile they would take us down to the armory and issue us all with smiles.

15.The sheep are not laughing at me.

16.The PDF however are laughing at my marching

17.Rumors should not be believed, even if the NCO/Officer starts them.

18.There is no such thing as a half-day in the army.

19.We are on government time.

20.Being hungover on duty is a chargeable offence, if you're caught.

21.Mass parade will be made available to all persons.

22.Mass parade will only take place if enough people sign up for it.

23.Blank ammunition can kill.

24.Its still safe though.

25.I will not trick the NCO's into saying they are firing blanks today.

26.I will not trick the new recruits into saying that they enjoyed their camp experience.

27.Despite my own opinion, Killwort is not a deserted wasteland.

28.Participation in the "Fun evening recreation" is mandatory.

29.When,after shower parade, the large Sgt asks you did you enjoy that, you reply YES, not realising that his colleague has added.....So you enjoy showering with other men?

30.Never trust the large Sgt. who has the power to edit my posts.

31.When on camp the f-word is used as a noun, adjective and verb.


32: Human bullfights with helmets still hurt.

33: The sincgar radio course requires the brain power of a lump of coal.

34: It's amazing the amount of people that don't have the brain power of a lump of coal.

35: "Going on the advanced party" is a polite way of saying "Get in the kitchens b!tch!"

36: The hardest part about firing the GPMG, is leaving it off automatic.

37. calling the cs a gimp is only safe during p.e. at the end of the day.

38. All mutton meals usually coincide with recruit range practises.......

39. There is no such thing as pepper in the army........

40. Curry will have carrots and peas........

41. Sandwiches will either be cheese or corned beef and never refrigerated........

42. Don't call the stew ...spew...or the cook will lose his cool.......


43. That is not a starter ...that's your ****ing dinner!

44. Why aren't the billets en suite........

45. The mattress will indicate the sexual habits and toilet problems of the previous occupant

46. Four pints in the mess usually translates into fifteen trips to the bog.......the last one usually an hour before reveille!

47. Pot noodles are not a recommended breakfast supplement

48. No matter how many people stay on stag in the male billets on Bere Island the phantom shitter will always manage to deposit the chocolate.

49. If there are no crows around the skip, dont have the chicken.

50. Getting caught riding any girl especially the ugliest one on camp on the Co's table/bed promotes u to legend status especially if ur caught by the CO .

51. Not getting caught riding on the Co's table is unacceptable.

52. Getting mounted for duty is a messy business - use Vaseline

53. Despite what NCO's say the GPMG can be unjammed by holdin it by the muzzle and beating it off a nearby tree.

54. You dont have to salute when u take down the red flags on the ranges


55. The Corporal does not like to be called "Corpy".

56. Admin is the easiest thing in the world to do.

57. If the corporal can't find you, he can't give you a j