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- Dont you put that evil on me Ricky Bobby....Dont.....
- Me, Myself, and I
- My name is Maximus Desimus Meridius, commander of the armies of the north, general of the Felix legions, loyal servant to the true emperor, Marcus Areillius. Father to a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife, and I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next
- The Other Half Of Me
Hung like a ballygowen 5 litre
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- gang quiz volume 5 12 Taken
Finally , the guys' side of the story.
(I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are OUR rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem.
See a doctor.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't Expect us to
act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted in two ways and one of the ways
makes you sad or angry, we meant THE OTHER ONE .
1. You can either ask us to do something Or tell us how you want it done.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during
1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We
have no idea what mauve is.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you
don't want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to
discuss such topics as rugby, cars, or golf.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; But did you know men
really don't mind that? It's like camping.
Pass this to as many men as you can -
Pass this to as many women as you can -
0 Comments 271 weeks
I'm Tony Mantana all I got in this world is my balls, and my word and I don't break them for no one
"Why dont you try sticking your head up your a**s, see if it fits"
I'm Tony Montana you fuck with me, your fucking with the best.
"Say hello to my little friend..."
"SAY HELLO TO MY LITTLE FREIND!!!!!!!!!!"
"You think I got this scar eatin p**sy?"
wattaya lookin at? your all a bunch of f*** a* holes u know y? caz u dont have the guts 2 be wat u wanna be u need ppl like me so u can pt ur fu** fingers n say dats the bad guy so wat dat make u? good? ur not good u just know how to hide howda lie me i dont have that problem me i always tell the truth even when i lie so say goodnight to the bad guy come on the last time u gonna c a bad guy like dis let me tell ya com on make way 4 da bad guy theres a bad guy comin through u betta get outta his way (tony montana)
We Got The Best Lawyers In Miami
tony: look at this. look at her. A junkie. I got a f**kin junkie for a wife. sleeps all day with them black shades on. wakes up with a kwelood and who won't f**k me cause she's in a coma. i can't even have a kid with her man. her womb is so polluted i can't even have a f**kin little baby with her.
Immigration Officer: Where'd you get the beauty scar, tough guy, eatin' pu**y? Tony Montana: How'm I gonna get a scar like that eating pu**y?
Alex: They found what was under the car tony. Now they have security up the a** and the heat is gonna come down hard on my partners and me. There isn't gonna be a next time you f**king dumb c**ksucker. Tony: Hey hey hey take it easy the way you talk to me ok. Alex: I told you a long time ago you f**king little monkey not to f**k me!!! Tony: HEY HEY WHO THE F**K YOU THINK YOUR TALKING TO HUH. YOU WANNA F**K WITH ME!? WHO DO YOU THINK I AM YOUR F**KING BELL BOY. YOU WANNA GO TO WAR YOU WANNA GO TO WAR WE TAKE YOU TO WAR OK?
"You know what capitalism is? Getting f*cked!"
0 Comments 272 weeks