1.Zoolander
Derek Zoolander: There was a moment last night, when she was sandwiched between the two Finnish dwarves and the Maori tribesmen, where I thought,'Wow, I could really spend the rest of my life with this woman.'

2.Napolean Dynamite
Napolean: Nobody's going to go out with me.
Pedro: But have you asked anybody yet?
Napolean: No. But who would? I don't even have any good skills.
Pedro: What do you mean?
Napolean: You know, like nunchuck skills, bow-hunting skills, computer-hacking skills. Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.

3.Old School
Mitch Martin: Sometimes you think you have true love and then you catch the early flight home from San Diego and a couple of nude people jump out of your bathroom blindfolded like a goddamn magic show ready to double-team your girlfriend.

4.Team America
Spotswoode: From what Intelligence has gathered, it would be 9/11 times 100.
Gary Johnston: 9/11 times 100? Jesus that's.....
Spotswoode: Yes, 91,100.
Chris: Basically all the worst parts of the Bible.

5.Wayne's World 2
Wayne: Look, it's Picadilly Circus.
Garth: Wow! What a shitty circus.

6.Meet the Fockers
Greg Focker: You meet some of my cousins?
Jack Byrnes: Some. Is there a Dom?
Greg: Yeah Dom Focker. Come meet his kids, Randy and Orny.

7.Deuce Bigalow, European Gigolo
Deuce: Excuse me, but in America we don't allow smoking in aquariums.
Frenchman: Excuse me, but in Europe, we don't unilaterally invade another country just to steal their oil!

8.The Pink Panther
French journalist: Was the killer a man or a woman?
Inspector Jacques Clouseau: Of course it was. What else could it be, a kitten?

9.Me, Myself and Irene
Lieutenant Gerke: The guy's nuttier than a squirrel turd!

10.The Dukes of Hazzard
Uncle Jesse: What do you get when you cross a donkey with an onion?
Luke Duke: What?
Uncle Jesse: A piece of ass that brings a tear to your eye!

11.The Girl Next Door
Eli: Dude don't mess this up.
Matthew: Mess what up?
Eli: Matt, she's a porn star! Ok? Take her to a motel room and bang her like a beast!
Matthew: Eli, I like this girl.
Eli: And you can still like her with your penis inside her!