My Mental Age
[] I know how to make a pot of coffee
[ ] I do my own laundry
[x] I can cook for myself
[] I actually enjoy intellectual conversations
[ ] I think politics is exciting
[ ] My parents and grandparents have better things to say than my friends
total: 3

[] I show up for school and or work every day
[] I always carry a pen in my pocket/purse.
[] I've never gotten a detention
[] I've watched talk shows to point out the credibility of it all
[x] I know what credibility means without looking it up
[ ] I drink coffee at least once a week
total: 3

[x] I know how to run the dish washer and or do the dishes.
[ ] I can count to 10 in Italian.
[] When I say I'm going to do something I do it.
[] My parents trust me.
[x] I can mow the lawn.
[] I can make adults laugh without being stupid.
[ ] I remember to water my plants.
[] I study when I have to.
[ ] I pay attention at school
[] I remembered to feed my pets.
total: 3

[x] I can spell experience without looking it up
[] I clean up my own mess.
[ ] The first thing I do when I wake up is get Diet Coke.
[] I can go to the store without getting something I don't need.
[x] I understand jokes the first time they are said
[] I can type fast
total: 2

[] I have realized that the weather forecast changes every hour.
[] I can look at someone hot without thinking of sex
[] I have realized that no one will take you seriously unless you act over the age of 25 and have a job.
[] I can read a book and actually finish it
total: 1
the amount of x's is your mental age

well i looks like im just below retarded

1. Secondary school started at 9am, but now anything before 1pm is considered “early”.
2. You have more alcohol than food in your fridge.
3. 6am is when you go to sleep, not when you wake up.
4. You join every bank going to get the free highlighters .
5. You know how late McDonald’s, Subway, Hillbillys, etc. are open.
6. You think it’s the weekend on a Monday and you don’t know what month it is.
7. You check Bebo more than four times a day.
8. You wash dishes in the bathroom sink.
9. Finding random people in your house is perfectly normal.
10. Your idea of feeding the poor is buying yourself some pasta in Lidl
11. You see several people daily you know you’ve met but can never remember their names or how you know them.
12. Your idea of a square meal is a Pop-Tart.
13. It becomes perfectly acceptable to wear pajamas out.
14. You never realized so many people are smarter than you.
15. You never realized so many people are dumber than you
16. Western Europe could be wiped out by a terrible plague and you’d never know, but by god if Alf Stewart got a new hat you'd talk about it for weeks!
17. You take ketchups,straws and napkins from fast food restaurants - hey, they’re free.
18. The elevators take forever but you’ll wait 10 minutes just so you don’t have to climb one flight of stairs.
19. You are no longer thankful that fire alarms are here to protect you...they are evil devices put on this earth in spite of students!
20. You can recite the prices of Tesco value alcohol of by heart...but still aren't sure what modules you do in college.
21. The food in your fridge may or may not be older than your little brother.
22. You go out of your way to watch Home and Away twice a day.
23. Paying more than four euro for a bottle of wine is completely unacceptable.
24. Traffic cones, construction signs, stolen posters and similar random memorabilia are proof of not only you're alcoholism but also of your inner interior decorator.
25. You actually start using coupons...and by god you do it with pride!

Seaman Episode.
Kyle: Wow! That's a lot of seamen, Cartman.
Cartman: Yeah, I bought all that I could at this bank, and then I got the rest from this guy Ralph in an alley.
Stan: That's cool.
Cartman: Yeah, and the sweet thing is, the stupid asshole didn't even charge me money for it. He just made me close my eyes and suck on a hose.

Dance OFF.
Stan: One day you're gonna have to stop running and deal with what happened. Otherwise, you might as well just move to France with all the other pussies

Jewish Kid: Is anyone else having problems concentrating on this? I just can't seem to concentrate.
Cartman: Maybe we should send you to a concentration camp.

Mr. Garrison: Does anyone know what sexual harassment means?
Cartman: When you are tying to have intercourse with a special lady friend and some other guy comes up and tickles your balls from behind.

Cartman: Hippies.They're everywhere. They wanna save the earth, but all they do is smoke pot and smell bad.

Chief Running Water: Your mother is what we Indians call, 'Bear With Wide Canyon.'
Cartman: What do you mean?
CRW: She is 'Doe Who Cannot Keep Legs Together.'
Cartman: Huh?
CRW: Your mom's a slut.

Eric Cartman: Stan, don't you know the first law of physics? Anything that's fun costs at least eight dollars.

Sportscaster Frank: I haven't seen an Englishman take a blow like that since Hugh Grant!

Mr Garrison: Genetic engineering is man's way of correcting God's hideous mistakes, like German people.

Teacher: Kyle, concentrate!!!
Cartman: Maybe he should be sent to a concentration camp

Cartman: Mom--Kitty is being a dildo.
Mrs. Cartman: Well, I know a little kitty who is sleeping with Mommy
tonight.

Stan's Mom: Stan, what did I tell you about watching the Osbournes? It's going to make you retarded!

Stan: I don't want to shoot the bunny.
Uncle Jimbo: No nephew of mine is going to be a tree hugger.
Cartman: Yeah, hippie. Go back to Woodstock if you don't want to shoot anything.

Other Mom: Can Eric spend the night?
Mrs. Cartman: No, I'm sorry, Eric is grounded for trying to exterminate the Jews last week.

Eric Cartman: Attention shoppers! Outside today, we have a cripple fight. Cripple fight, outside!

Boss: Mr. Marsh, we're sorry, but we are replacing your position with Mr. Goocorguluuk(clicking).
Mr.Marsh: Oh my god... dey took mah jerb!
Stan: Dey took yuur jerb!!

Stan: Dude, this is gay!
Kyle: This is really gay!
Cartman: Yeah, this is even gayer then all the men getting in a big pile and having sex with each other.
Stan: Yeah, my bad, back in the pile everybody!

Stan: Dad, where's our Bible?
Randy: Not now Stan, I have to figure out what makes people spontaneously combust. Or else.
Stan: Or else what?
Randy: Exactly.
Stan: What?
Randy: Right

Randy Marsh: [making a diagram of global warming damage] Everyone below this line needs to be evacuated. Everyone above this line is already dead. We're stuck here in the middle. These states might be okay, they're balmy. New York is gonna have huge tidal waves that affect this whole area.
[someone giggles]
Randy Marsh: What?
[looks at the board and realized his diagram looks like a penis]
Randy Marsh: Oh, godammit! Godammit

Mr. Garrison: What do you think, Mr. Marsh? You ready to put a down payment on that baby?
Randy Marsh: Well yeah, but I just had one question about how it works. Well, it seems all the buttons on these front and rear flexi-grips are also found on the side of the vehicle.
Mr. Garrison: Yep.
Randy Marsh: So, they don't really do anything.
Mr. Garrison: Right.
Randy Marsh: So then, couldn't I just order one that works without going in and out of my ass and mouth?
Mr. Garrison: [pause] ... Well, I guess you could.
Customers: Huh? What's that? What'd he say?

Randy Marsh: Stan, time to get up for school. Stan? What the...
[Sees Michael Jefferson a.k.a Michael Jackson, in bed with Stan, Kyle, Cartman and Blanket]
Randy