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Male, 27,
90
- from Glasgow but Dublin for now
- I am Single
- Profile views: 12,022
- Last active: 18 hours ago
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- Tagline
- HELP ME!!!!
- Me, Myself, and I
- Living Happily at home with and hate it wish I was back in Glasgow with my intelligent, pretty, hot, fun gorgeous Laura who keeps me in line....most of the time!
Andi Black is great
Andi Black is super
Andi Black is cool
Andi Black rules
Andi Black was a winger on saturday WHY? - Heroes
- Roy Keane and Andi Black not to mention Jim Black (andi's dad) what heroes amongst men!!! Dessy Captaino Doyle, Johnny Walsh, Niall Kearns, Mark Barrett, Brian Keegan;
- Films
- shawshank, fight club, snatch, anchor man, old school, GLADIATOR and anything that's emotional and has sport in it Cool Runnings exhibit A, Remember the titans exhibit B it gets me everytime
- Sports
- Unicycling, Pogo, Spacehopper, Rugby and hop scotch boxing too very clever with who had open surgery on it in March 14th 2009
- Scared Of
- Laura when coming home boozed on a sunday after she has been minding vessy woops happens all the time!
- Happiest When
- coming home not boozed to be happy instead of a row!!! Sipping on a frosty ice filled pint glass when it's been filled with Magners/Bulmers but irish bulmers not fake shit they've brought in over here with Andi Black
- Likes
- FOOOOOOOOOOOOD AND MY BELLY Sunday boozing, Roy Keane and everything he stands for. Spooning and general good times, especially when Laura and Andi is involved. The rugby season being over. farting!!!!!!
- Dislikes
- LOSING, I hate it and have been known to spit the odd dummy out of my mouth, and throw all the toys out of the pram!!! Gladly it doesn't happen to me too often!!! Super Cider Sundays when Andi is not there rarely happens but when it does it's terribly upsetting. Hamstrings
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Do it!!
1.Who are you?.......
2. Are we friends?........
3. When and how did we meet?........
4. Do you hav a crush on me?.........
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?........
6. Give me a nikname and explain why?........
7. Describe me in 1 word........
8. what was ur first impression ov me?.......
9. do u still fink the same?......
10. What reminds u ov me?.....
11. If you could giv me anything wot wod it b?......
12. How well do u no me?......
13. Whens the last tym u saw me?.....
14. Eva wanted 2 tell me sumthing u couldnt?......
15. Are you goin 2 put dis on ur blog and c wot i say about u?.....
0 Comments 1124 days
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How To Treat A Woman
1. when she asks how she looks shrug and say "could be better" this will keep her on her toes. and girls love that.
2. never hold her hand. this can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are.)
3. once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. girls are like dogs. they love to be roughed up.
4. call her in the middle of the night to ask if she's sleeping. if she is say you better be , repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. this will show her you care.
5. when she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. this will pave the way for her own personal improvement. and every girl needs some improvement.
6. recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most. then when she's sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.
7. if youre talking to another girl, make sure shes looking. When she is, stare into her eyes mouth the words @#%$ you and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.
8. tell her you're taking her out to dinner. drive for miles so she thinks it's going to be really special. then take her to a burning tire yard. when she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you're really going to take her to dinner. then drive her home. when she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear "...because i can."
9. introduce her to your friends as "some chick". women love those special nicknames.
10. play with her hair. play with it HARD.
11. warm her up when shes cold...and not by giving her your jacket... then you might get cold. rather, look her in the eye and say "if you don't stop bitching about the cold right now you're going to be bitching about a black eye." the best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there shell have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. make her laugh. a good way to do this is if she has a small pet. kick the pet. i always find stuff like that funny. why shouldn't girls?
14. let her fall asleep in your arms. when she's fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. like basketball.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. if you care about her never ever tell her. this will only give her self confidence. then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time youre in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way shell go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say no shes not hungry. make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. look her in the eyes and smile. then clock her one. girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. give her one of your t-shirts......and make sure it has your smell on it. but not a sexy cologne smell. a bad smell. you know what i'm talking about.
21. When its raining keep asking her if shes crying. Shell say no its just the rain ten minutes later turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i've already stated.
22. Titty twisters and plenty of them.
23. if youre listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she'll think you're mysterious.
24. remember her birthday but don't get her something. Teach her material objects arent important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
25. when she gives1 Comment 1277 days
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PAUL O'CONNELL
Paul O' Connell
Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Paul O’Connell instead decided
to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a
beard.
Paul O’Connell sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and
unparalleled rugby playing ability. Shortly after the transaction was
finalized, Paul O’Connell dump-tackled the devil and took his soul
back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he
should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of
the month.
Paul O’Connell does not sleep. He waits.
Paul O’Connell built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Paul O’Connell caught all three bullets in his teeth. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.
To prove it isn't that big of a deal to beat cancer, Paul O’Connell smoked 15
cartons of cigarettes a day for 2 years and acquired 7 different kinds of
cancer only to rid them from his body by flexing for 30 minutes. Beat that,
Lance Armstrong.
Paul O’Connell is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked
names for his left and right legs.
The chief export of Paul O’Connell is pain.
Paul O’Connell doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.
If you can see Paul O’Connell, he can see you. If you can't see Paul O’Connell
you may be only seconds away from death.
Paul O’Connell won 'Jumanji' without ever saying the word. He simply beat the
living sh*t out of everything that was thrown at him, and the game
forfeited.
Paul O’Connell was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of
"TOUGH". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous
of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have
Paul O’Connell omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of spear tackle related deaths.
Paul O’Connell can make a woman climax by simply pointing at her and saying
"booya".
When Paul O’Connell sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes
only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Paul O’Connell has
not had to pay taxes ever.
Paul O’Connell lost his virginity before his dad did.
Paul O’Connell once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first
45 minutes making love to his waitress.
Paul O’Connell' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
Paul O’Connell does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability
of failure. Paul O’Connell goes killing.
As a teen Paul O’Connell impregnated every nun in a convent tucked away in
the hill of Tara. Nine months later the nuns gave birth to the Meath team of 1988, the toughest team in GAA history.
Paul O’Connell counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Paul O’Connell.
A blind man once stepped on Paul O’Connell' shoe. Paul O’Connell replied, "Don't you
know who I am? I'm Paul O’Connell!" The mere mention of his name cured this
man blindness. Sadly the first, last, and only thing this man ever saw, was
a fatal spear tackle delivered by Paul O’Connell.
Paul O’Connell's sperm are so persuasive, he once impregnated a man.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped
people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Paul O’Connell and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Someone once tried to tell Paul O’Connell that spear tackles aren't the
best way to tackle someone. This has been recorded by historians as the worst
mistake anyone has ever made.
If you look in a mirror and say "Paul O’Connell" three times, he will appear
and kill your entire family... but at least you get to see Paul O’Connell.
Paul O’Connell once saw a "DO NOT WALK ON THE GRASS" sign. He stared at the
grass unti0 Comments 1306 days
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Which Greek God are you?
Zeus
Ruler of all the Gods and Goddesses who lived on Mt. Olympus. He became the
undisputed master of the universe, and as the God of rain, drought, storms, and
all weather - he was worshiped as the source of heavenly signs. He called
upon tempests and created storms, and kept the peace among the
family of Olympians.
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My result is: Duffman
With your enthusiastic pelvic thrusts and your propensity for referring to yourself in the third person, you're the epitome of the
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Shed Nightclub1 week agoDear Friend,
Comment sent from Commentor
Just a quick note to tell you about the Shed's St Andrew's Day School Disco!
Sunday 29th November at the Shed in Shawlands.
There is a tartan theme and drinks are priced from 1.50.
As usual we expect the school disco to be a major sell-out so arrive early.
Come along at 11pm and show how proud you are to be Scottish!
will we see you there?
xxx
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The Sunday Club11 weeks agoSunday nights at Victoria's
Comment sent from Commentor
Re-Launching this weekend. 6th Sept
with.. DJ Vance
back in legendary Sunday night residency.
Drinks from 1.50
FREE CD for everyone
guestlist at VICTORIAS.TV
It's gonna be huge! x
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O'Couture11 weeks agoBook a booth for the Scotland game this Sat/Wed info@ocglasgow.com
Comment sent from Commentor
Also www.ocglasgow.com for electronic guest list.
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The Sunday Club12 weeks ago
The Sunday Club
Comment sent from Commentor
Sunday nights at Victoria's
DJ Vance
back in legendary Sunday night residency. 6th sept onwards
It's gonna be huge! x
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12 weeks ago
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Shed Nightclub12 weeks ago
Hey Shedders
Comment sent from Commentor
Just a quick reminder about the annual bank holiday shed beach party this sunday !
Drinks from 1.50 and jagerbombs 2 Quid !
Plus 5 tons of real sand ...
Will we see you there?
xxx -
Lindsay Smith23 weeks agohey conster wots the craic? wen u over nxt? x
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Shagtag Tuesdays25 weeks agoCOME IN YOUR PANTS !!
YOU ARE INVITED TO THE PANTS PARTY !!
*** Tuesday 2nd June - Play Nightclub ***
,=============,
.\.---,.......|.|......,---./
...\.....\..././.\.\../...../
.....\.....|.|.....|.|...../
.......'-------------'
Yes! theres a party in SHAGTAG's pants & you're all invited. Y-fronts, knickers, speedos, boxers, or granny pants.. anything goes! Girls & boys. Prizes for the best on show. Please RSVP to your invitation with some love (or disgust) xxx
Shagtag Tuesdays at Play Nightclub
7 Renfield St - Drinks at 1 quid !!
bebocomments at live.co.uk
K32475296 -
Shed Nightclub25 weeks ago
Hey There Con Man
you are cordially invited to the Shedkandi Sundays Launch Party!
After the incredible success of the last one and the constant requests for another
Shedkandi Sundays brings you the Shed Foam Party!
Sunday 7th june
Prepare to get Wet!
Exams are over and its summer so bring your bikini's and shorts.
DJ's Lisa Mafia and derek Ho spinning ibiza anthems and club classics
drinks from 1.50
Entry Only A Fiver
will we see you there??
xx
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Uber Girl28 weeks agoHey Con Man,
View all our Scottish Stuners @ ubergirl.co.uk
Keep your favourite Girl in the competition to be the winner of Uber Girl Scotland 2009
View the girls and VOTE your favourite to win.
Go online to ubergirl.co.uk to view the Girls
Love
Uber Girl x -
28 weeks ago via Mobile
KC
Hey Mr. I'll txt laura and c wat she's up 2. Not seen either of u for ages. It would b gr8 2 catch up. X x
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28 weeks ago
via Mobile
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Shed Nightclub29 weeks ago
hey friend,
just a wee note to tell you about the School Disco at the Shed on the next Bank holiday Sunday (24th May)
All your favourite Shed School Disco parts including:
Tuck Shop
Free Glow Sticks
School Skirts
Headmaster LiL Rich
Arches
Games
Drinks from £1.80
AND
everyone is off work the next day!!!
can we count you in???
show your support, use our profile picture as your profile picture and we'll put you in our top friends!
love you lots
the shed
xxx -
Stephanie Keegan35 weeks agoyou should have smacked her anyway... I'm sure it would have been enjoyed by all! x
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Shed Nightclub35 weeks ago
DIRTY HABITS PRESENTS A FOAM PARTY SUNDAY
29/03/09
Get Monday the 30/03/09 off work, cos this is one not to be missed!!!!
Ewan Mcleod will be playing devlish party games including a wet t-shirt competition!
And for one week only due to the credit crunch we’ll be giving away £500.
And one lucky person will receive £50 just for entering the club
Be prepared to get wet
Selected drinks @ £1
All the rest £1.50
Entry £5/3 with student ID
You up for it???
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35 weeks ago
Stephanie Keegan
well howdy there! How are you? Nope, it wasnt me, at least I can't remember being there anyway!! Maybe my evil twin has got lose again!! How's things with you?
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Shagtag Tuesdays36 weeks agoSHAGTAG TUESDAYS
@ PLAY NIGHTCLUB
Glasgow's most notorious clubnight!
PARTY GAMES, PRIZES
+ DRINKS AT A QUID !!
31st March: UV KISS & TELL PARTY
Free UV lipstick for every girl. leave your mark... anywhere!
7th April: WET T-SHIRT COMPETITION
Winner gets free entry to Play for a year! + 100 quid cash
GET YOURSELF DOWN THIS TUESDAY xxx
...................
bebocomments@live.co.uk
D15509318 -
Shed Nightclub38 weeks ago
ROLLER DISCO THURSDAYS
You like a good old dance off how about a skate off??
Get out the 80's gear and skate on down to the shed!!
Every thursday we are having a roller disco, so you can either bring your on skates or hire them from us!
Sick of the same old nights out, come join in on the fun with the shed!
Can't skate? Stand and watch the people who think they can you'll never laugh so much in your life!! 
Vodka mix, Sambuca, Heineken cans all £1
All other drinks £1.50!!!
Bebo for guest list
good man dunce...in nicaragua having a blast.....send me an email to sandiegodave@hotmail.com so i can put u on email group list... love dave
Dave Mackenzie 0 ReplysHappy Birhday Con-man!
Lausxx 0 ReplysHave a great day!
Lxx
hahahah these were well and truely on this morning Dundon!!!
Lausxx 0 ReplysLxx