1) Thou shalt drink only pints and/or "whiskey."
2) Thou shall always ate the skin of yer rasher.
3) Thou shall always stand at the back during mass, or even better
in the porch talking.
4) Thine wife shall emulate Biddy from Glenroe.
5) Thou shalt emulate Miley.
6) Thou shalt "suck diesel."
7) Thou shall pretend to know all about "The Headage."
Thou shalt look after your tractor better than your car.
9) Thou shalt have no "Revershing" lights or number plate on your
trailer.
10)Thou shalt display a "Travellin' to Flavin" sticker on the back
window of all vehicles.
11)Thou shallt wear your Ivomec Pour-On fleece with pride.
12)Thou shalt not use but half-inch Wavin or a "good Sally Rod" for
beatin cattle.
13)Thine sons shall play GAA.
14)Thine daaawwwthur shall marry the local centhur-forward.
15)Thou shalt hold regular arguments with d'telly.
16)Thou shalt reminisce the Fair Day, the Treshing,Kickin'Cabbages and
the Corncrake.
17)Thou shallt know a Mickeen Tomeen Joe and a Paddy Joe Paaaack from
"the top of the parish."
1 Thou shalt ate "Hang Sangwiches" at all the GAA matches.
19)Thou shalt hate "Those Backstard the Tans".
20)Thou shalt be edumacated by the Chrissshtian Brethers.
21)Thou shalt pronounce 'Yellow' as 'Yolla'.
22)Thou shalt carry the A.I Man's mobile number on you at all times.
23)Thou shalt not visit Dublin ( except to Croker and to bring the
wife shoppin' on the 8th December).
24)Thou shalt not fail to attend the Ploughing Championships and all
Steam Rallies.
25)Thou shalt always know how to reek turk bether than thine
neighbour.
26)Thou shalt use balin' twine to hold up thine trousers.
27)Thou shalt not ever visit the dentist.
2 Thou shalt not miss an episode of "The Weather".
29)Thou shallt have many injuries from "that Hoooor of Charlois I
got from that cowboy calf-dealer."
30)Thou shalt wear cap crooked.
31)Thou shalt love all Big John Wayne's fims, especially"The Quiet Man."
32)Thine son shall be nicknamed "Bungalow," 'cos "he's got nothin'
upstairs."
33)Thou shalt shoot stray dogs.
34)Thou shalt drown cats.
35)Thou shallt think all Lesbians are from Lesbia.
36)Thou shalt annually run the tractor off the end pit when trampling
silage.
37)Thou shalt taste all barrels of Molasses.
3 Thou shalt think it's great craic to ring PJ and roar into the
phone while he's with "the bit of stuff".
39)Thine favourite chat-up line shallt be "Howya fixshed for a bit of
howya goin' on ?" whilst winking like an epileptic.
40)Thou shallt paint "Whatever County for Sam!" on all of your round
bales.
41)Thou shalt never leave the country.
42)Thou shalt only bathe on a sathurday niyat, using only carbolic
soap.
43)Thou shalt have a heinz-57 mongrel of a dog which is good for
nothin' except terrorising the neighbour's sheep.
44)Thou shalt read the read the Farmer's Journal.
45)Thou shalt always support your county GAA team whilst curshing
them for being "pure sh!te" at every given oppurtunity.
46)Thine sweet of choice shall be either Ritchies After Dinner Mints
or Silvermints.
47)Thou shalt only be aware of strippers of the bovine kind.
4 Thou shalt refer to soccer as "The Foriegn Game."
49)Thou shalt always sing the dirty line to "Alice".
50)Thou shalt always recieve Communion on the tongue,
licking the priest's hand in the process.

Bobby Sands' Diary
Sunday 01
I am standing on the threshold of another trembling world. May God have mercy on my soul.

My heart is very sore because I know that I have broken my poor mother's heart, and my home is struck with unbearable anxiety. But I have considered all the arguments and tried every means to avoid what has become the unavoidable: it has been forced upon me and my comrades by four-and-a-half years of stark inhumanity.

I am a political prisoner. I am a political prisoner because I am a casualty of a perennial war that is being fought between the oppressed Irish people and an alien, oppressive, unwanted regime that refuses to withdraw from our land.

I believe and stand by the God-given right of the Irish nation to sovereign independence, and the right of any Irishman or woman to assert this right in armed revolution. That is why I am incarcerated, naked and tortured.

Foremost in my tortured mind is the thought that there can never be peace in Ireland until the foreign, oppressive British presence is removed, leaving all the Irish people as a unit to control their own affairs and determine their own destinies as a sovereign people, free in mind and body, separate and distinct physically, culturally and economically.

I believe I am but another of those wretched Irishmen born of a risen generation with a deeply rooted and unquenchable desire for freedom. I am dying not just to attempt to end the barbarity of H-Block, or to gain the rightful recognition of a political prisoner, but primarily because what is lost in here is lost for the Republic and those wretched oppressed whom I am deeply proud to know as the 'risen people'.

There is no sensation today, no novelty that October 27th brought. (The starting date of the original seven man hunger-strike) The usual Screws were not working. The slobbers and would-be despots no doubt will be back again tomorrow, bright and early.

I wrote some more notes to the girls in Armagh today. There is so much I would like to say about them, about their courage, determination and unquenchable spirit of resistance. They are to be what Countess Markievicz, Anne Devlin, Mary Ann McCracken, Marie MacSwiney, Betsy Gray, and those other Irish heroines are to us all. And, of course, I think of Ann Parker, Laura Crawford, Rosemary Bleakeley, and I'm ashamed to say I cannot remember all their sacred names.

Mass was solemn, the lads as ever brilliant. I ate the statutory weekly bit of fruit last night. As fate had it, it was an orange, and the final irony, it was bitter. The food is being left at the door. My portions, as expected, are quite larger than usual, or those which my cell-mate Malachy is getting.

Monday 02
Much to the distaste of the Screws we ended the no-wash protest this morning. We moved to 'B' wing, which was allegedly clean.
We have shown considerable tolerance today. Men are being searched coming back from the toilet. At one point men were waiting three hours to get out to the toilet, and only four or five got washed, which typifies the eagerness (sic) of the Screws to have us off the no-wash. There is a lot of petty vindictiveness from them.

I saw the doctor and I'm 64 kgs. I've no problems.

The priest, Fr John Murphy, was in tonight. We had a short talk. I heard that my mother spoke at a parade in Belfast yesterday and that Marcella cried. It gave me heart. I'm not worried about the numbers of the crowds. I was very annoyed last night when I heard Bishop Daly's statement (issued on Sunday, condemning the hunger-strike). Again he is applying his double set of moral standards. He seems to forget that the people who murdered those innocent Irishmen on Derry's Bloody Sunday are still as ever among us; and he knows perhaps better than anyone what has and is taking place in H-Block.

He understands why men are being tortured here -- the reason for criminalisation. What makes it so disgusting, I believe, is that he agrees with th