Why Men Are Happier Than Women!
1. We keep our last name.
2. The garage is all ours.
3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
4. Chocolate is just another snack.
5. We can be president.
6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
8. The world is our urinal.
9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
10. Same work, more pay.
11. Wrinkles add character.
12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
16. One mood, ALL the time.
17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
18. We know stuff about tanks.
19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
20. We can open all our own jars.
21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
27. We almost never have strap problems in public
28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

it was far across the sea when the devil got a hold of me
he wouldn't set me free so he kept me soul for ransom
na na na na na etc
i'm a sailor man from glasgow town i've roamed the world around and round
he's the meanest thing that i have found in all me days of wandering
na na na na na etc

here we go again we're on the road again
we're on the road again we're on the way to paradise
we love the jungle deep. that's where the lion sleeps
for then those evil eyes they have no place in paradise

graffiti on the wall just as the sun was going down
i see graffiti on the wall - of the celts! of the celts!
graffiti on the wall it says we're magic we're magic
graffiti on the wall.............................

it says oh ah up the ra, say ooh ah up the ra
it says oh ah up the ra, say ooh ah up the ra
it says oh ah up the ra, say ooh ah up the ra
it says oh ah up the ra, say ooh ah up the ra

we went thru each jungle deep for the paradise that we did seek
twas no trip for the weak we're waltzing with the natives
na na na na na etc
around in circles everyway he turned to me and he did say
i think you're leading me astray i want your soul me boyo
na na na na na etc

here we go again we're on the road again
we're on the road again we're on the way to paradise we love the
jungle deep. that's where the lion sleeps
for then those evil eyes they have no place in paradise

graffiti on the walls just as the sun was going down
i see graffiti on the walls - of the celts! of the celts! graffiti on
the walls says we're magic we're magic graffiti on the
wall.............................

it says oh ah up the ra, say ooh ah up the ra
it says oh ah up the ra, say ooh ah up the ra
it says oh ah up the ra, say ooh ah up the ra
it says oh ah up the ra, say ooh ah up the ra.