Being a Farmer
you know your a farmer when....................

Your front carpet is muddier than your drive.

you have animals living in buildings more expensive than your house.

You can remeber fertiliser rate seeding rate herbicide rate and yields on a farm you leased 10 years ago but cannot recall your wifes birthday.

You need a *licence* before leaving the house.

Your dog rides in your truck more than your wife.

You fibbed to a mechanic about how often you greased a piece of machinery.

Your whole family falls instantly silent when the weather comes on the news.

You cant help picking up stones and throwing them to the edge of the field.

If you see a bit of string in a feild you pick it up and put it in your pocket.

You put a jacket on over your overalls to look smart.

You take an instant dislike to anyone wearing a suit walking into your farmyard.

You use baler twine as a dog lead.

You talk to every cow you see even if its not your own.

Your daughters dont bring new boyfreinds home for fear of dad asking them if they can drive a tractor.

You have a friendly rivalry with the farmer next door.

Getting up at 7am is a lie-in.

You get more letters from DEFRA than you do from friends and family.

You can't drive along a road anywhere in britain without studying everyone else's crop's and livestock.

Drilling does not mean putting holes through interior walls.

Your 4x4 acctually goes off road.

You get frustrated by people calling straw "hay".

Your most valued possesion is your pen knife.

A lamb follows the children into the kitchen and no one thinks its unusual.

You confidently walk arround the supermarket in wellies.

You open a bale and discover an old mobile phone.

You drive your new telehandler repeatedly past your neighbour's yard until someone appears.

You feel naked without baler twine in your pocket.

You've run over your own cat in a tractor

When someone says they live on an estate you think of fields and woods rather than a barratts development

You tut at people in tesco buying danish bacon and french bread

You don't sit down to a single hot meal in august

You fall asleep with-in 3 minutes of sitting down in front of the t.v

Your sun tan ends just above the elbow in the summer

You've had a live lamb in your aga

You only take the kids to the seaside when it rains

There is small heaps of grain outside the back door of the house every summer

Dress sense means cutting down on nitrogen applications

Your ideal holiday is to visit other peoples farms

Your hands look like they are made with the same material as your boots

Your bag on your hoover is full of grain from july to september

The faint (but agreeable) smell of disel never leaves you

Your lawn includes hundreds of cattle hoof prints

Your alarm clock is set to farming today, even though you hate it now

You've got the RPA's number on speed dail in your phone

When you listen to radio 4's the archers and think how happy all the characters are

A good holiday is a week in the west coast in november

Track and field has nothing to do with athletics

chinese lingo

C
Thats no right........................
......Sum Ting Wong
Are you harbouring a furitive...............Hu Ya Hai Ding
See me ASAP.........................
........Kum Hia
Stupid man..........................
........Dum Fuk
Small Horse........................
.........Tai Ni Po Ni
Did you go to the beach.....................Wai Yu So Tan
I bumped the coffee table...................Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
I think you need a face lift................Chin Tu Fat
Its very dark in here.......................Wa
i So Dim
I thought you were on a diet................Wai Yu Mun Ching
This is a tow away zone.....................No Pah King
Our meeting is schedueld for next week......Wai Yu Kum Nao
Staying out of sight........................
Lei Ying Lo
He's cleaning his automobile................Wa Shing Ka
Your body odor is offensive.................Yu Stin Ki Pu

1. Full Name: Alan Craig Stanfield
2. Nicknames: ntn really just Stanfield
3. Birthday: 1st august 1991
4. Place of birth: Newry!
5. sign: Leo i fink
6. Male or Female: Male
7. Year: 4th
8. School: Newry high!
9. Occupation: Student!
10. MSN Screen Name: dnt ave a clue lol

__Your Appearance___

12. Hair Color: brown
13. Hair Lengh: short
14. Eye color: Blue!
15. Height: 1m 70 sumfin i fink
17. Braces?: not yet
18. Glasses?: nope!
19. Piercings: nope
20. Tattoos: Nope!
21. Righty or Lefty: righty!

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: man bout dog lol
30. TV programme: top gear
31. Color: Blue
32. Rapper: none dey all shite
33. Bands: The killers, razorlight
34. Song Right Now: horse it in ya cynthia for your the girl 4 me lol
35. Friends: graeme, tony, josh, neil, gavin
36. Sweet: eclares love da wee bastards lol
37. Sport to Play: Rugby

___Currently___

46. Feeling: Happy
47. Single or Taken?: Taken
48. Have a crush: yeah!
49. Eating: finger nails lol
50. Drinking: nothin
51. Typing: all dis stuff so boring!
52. Online?: yep!
53. Listening To: kenny rodgers - the gambler
54. Thinking About: y i boter wit dis stuff lol
55. Wanting To: get dis finished lol
56. Watching: computer screen!
57. Wearing: jeans nd a t-shirt

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: yep!
59. Want to get Married?: of course!
60. Careers in Mind: brain surgen lol oj a joiner r sumfin lyk dat
61. Where do you want to live? where i am now!!!
62. Car: me sisters 206!!!! hint hint rachael lol

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color: dnt giva shite as long as its nt ginger lol
64. Hair length: long
65. Eye color: brown r blue
66. Measurments: smaller dan me
67. Cute or Sexy: both!
68. Lips or Eyes: both
69. Hugs or Kisses: kisses
70. Short or Tall: short
71. Easygoing or serious: easy going!
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: Both!
73. Fatty or Skinny: skinny!
74. Sensitive or Loud: bita both!
75. Hook-up or Relationship: Relationship!
76. Sweet or Caring: both!


___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: no!
79. Had Alcohol: yea
80. Smoked: wuden tuch da shit
81. Ran Away From Home: nope!
82. Broken a bone: yea
83. Got an X-ray: yea
85. Broken Someones Heart: hope not
86. Broke Up With Someone: nah
87. Cried When Someone Died: yeah!
88. Cried At School: i fink at primary school

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: Yeah!
90. Miracles: Yep!
91. Love At First sight: hasnt happened but yea!
92. Ghosts: no
93. Aliens: no
94. Soul Mates: yeh!
95. Heaven: yep!
96. Hell: yea!
97. Angels: dnt kno
98. Kissing on The First Date: yea
99. Horoscopes: yea


___Answer Truthfully___

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have? no