Bryan > Peter
• id wear a dead kitten as a condom to fuck you in the rectum cos ur so fuckin wide!!
• Just cos you caught raebes from that blowjob you got off a dead hamster doesnt mean you can go round forcing young boys to kick you in the balls over and over
• here...lick my gooch hand u fuckin baby bum humper!!
• -How much to let a snake bite through one of your testicles? usual limit applies
-you will get to keep said ball, and the hole will heal, but you now only have one functional testi...
• lad would you ever just get ur wabb outa the butter and stop spanking the inside of ur thighs with our soup laddle so they are red raw makin it look like you got a blowjob from a hedgehog!!
• lad whats the deal with you shoving as many tootpicks up ur ass as possible and then pouring marbles in there?? why not just get kerplunk!? btw you can keep the marbles i lent you, the last ones all came back brown
• ur a horrible person, and the only reason i still hang around with you is cos ur willy smells of cheese and fluff, and thats what reminds me of my teddy, "sammy-jo", who i used to feed dairylee triangles to
• Why do you insist on painting ur knob orange and tippex-ing two lines around it and shouting "road closed, cant you see the fucking cone!?"
• how come everytime i pass ur house there is a bus from the old folks day care centre parked outside and the sound of moaning grannys coming from inside??
• lad i didnt wana say anything, but you know that mole along the side of ur cock, the hairy one, well it looks like it could be serious. i say this because it stinks too, but that may just be the knob cheese encrusted around ur foreskin. Why do you keep your shaved pyabes in a drawer??
• I will attack you with a massive splinter of wood and make sure that it goes right thru ur skinny chest and out the other side and pins you to a rose seller and you survive but cannot be surgically removed or ul die so u have to go around selling roses forever until she dies and rots away.
• for the last time, stop coming to my window at 7.30 in the morning dressed as maralyn monroe, taking off one stilleto, ramming it up ur dung pipe and shouting 'bryan i lost a shoe, help me find it' when its clearly hangin outta ur rectal entrance - havnt had a gud nites sleep in weeks lad!
• you know the way you have those nipple clips that double up as a butt-plug? there was a review done on those and they've been found to be illegaly dangerous cos they make ur nipples bleed then give you AIDS when u stick them in ur ass. It mite be too late for you, i seen the two red stains on most of your t-shirts... you mite wana get checked out lad
• suck my dick you fuckin weirdo, iv never seen a man that actually prefers to use a soup ladel and a potato masher to masturbate while you contuinually ask a random person passing ur house if they would like to ram a spatualla up ur ass so you can achieve a heightened climax - and you never even offer to pay them
• aye sure, but only if you stop filling ur pillow at nite with chopped onions, then waking up in the morning and using all the tears as lube for ur "bitter/sweet morning tug" as you so colourfully named it. you cut that out and we have a deal
• seen thon article bout ye in the mid-ulster mail, "the silver-screen creamer" they call ye lad, on account of you having gone to see hannah montana on at least four seperate occasions wearing a hat and sunglasses and masturbating furiously until you blow your load at the exact same scene in the film everytime then smearing it all over your chest before offering every fifth child a strawberry lace, cant believe ur not in jail
• cant believe ur taking ur sick habits, and not alone splashing them across bebo, but also accusing me of doing it!! thats just low, but nowhere near as bad as that time you tried to pick the lock to the doors of the union one night with 2rent boys erect cocks. them poor boys will never be the same, nor will

Cos im a hard lad...

1. Full Name: Bryan McDaid
2. Nicknames: Bry-man, McDaid, Oh fuck here he comes
3. Birthday: 31/05/1989
4. Place of birth: Magherafelt
5. Star sign: Gemini
6. Male or Female: bit of both some times
7. Year: drinkth year
8. School: .....
9. Occupation: full-time goater/ abuser of society
10. Residence: the place with the screaming and constant nudity
11. MSN Screen Name: Curious George

Your Appearance
12. Hair Color: Black, brown, i dunno im colourblind
13. Hair Lengh: pubes or....?
14. Eye Color: Blue, what is this another fuckin eye test?!?
15. Height: taller than you
17. Braces: no thanks, im gud
18. Glasses: pretty useful for holdin drink
19. Piercings: 42, can only remember gettin 2, and none are visible..
20. Tattoos: hold on..... nope none
21. Righty or Lefty: whatever, harder to finish myself off with the left tho

Your "Firsts"
22. First best friend: raff the dirty goat
23. First Award: dance off champion at the union (reigning)
24. First Sport: extreme tree climbing whilst makin gun noises
25. First pet: one of the seven dwarfs, duno which one tho, but he ran away
26. First Real Vacation: belfast
27. First Concert: boyzone
28. First Love: nutella

Favorites
29. Movie: curious george
30. TV program: same
31. Color: whatever colour i am
32. Rapper: WHO TOLD U TH.... oh rapper, not a big fan
33. Band: fightstar, no greenday, naw fightstar
34. Song Right Now: youmeatsix- save it for the bedroom
35. Friends: the union
36. Sweet: the union floor candy
37. Sport to Play: fast-paced drinking
38. Restaurants: the union...what!? they sell crisps
39. Favorite brand: hate brands,especially russell
40. Store: memories
41. School Subject: being absent, its what i do best
42. Animal: yeah i am a bit
43. Book: i cant read
44. Magazine: dildo action weekly
45. Perfume: sex panther
46. Shoes: a nice pair of loafers
47. Jewellery: my bling ring

Currently
48. Feeling: raffs upper thigh
49. Single or Taken?: depends hus asking...nah im taken
50. Have a crush: severalteen
51. Eating: now eating raffs penis
52. Drinking: do the maths
53. Typing: a national apology to spain for stealing all their toilet roll
54. Online?: on a seat
55. Listening To: the pulsating rhythm of raff pleasuring a turtle
56. Thinking About: how im ass-fucked in my test in 5 and a half hours
57. Wanting To: be invisible
58. Watching: a turtle lighting up a cigarette
59. Wearing: raff like a glove puppet

Your Future
60. Want Kids?: yeah probly
61. Want to be Married?: not really, id be trapped forever in boredomsville
62. Careers in Mind: prostitute? maybe work in the union toilets
63. Where do you want to live? the union
64. Car: one of them yellow and red bubble cars converted into a roadworthy vehicle

Which is Better With The Opposite Sex?
65. Hair color: meh
66. Hair length: longer than mine, or they wud be a lesbian no doubt
67. Eye color: union
68. Measurments: big in the heart department, and i mean on the outside!!
69. Cute or Sexy: something lik me only in girl form
70. Lips or Eyes: they shud preferebly have both
71. Hugs or Kisses: a nice hug
72. Short or Tall: not a dwarf but not a basketball player, something between them is perfect if im bein specific
73. Easygoing or serious: the more willing they are to let me get drunk a lot the better
74. Romantic or Spontaneous: i dont know the second word and the first one is dead
75. Fatty or Skinny: big girls u are fat as fuck!
76. Sensitive or Loud: i expect all girls to come with a remote so i can turn them down
77. Hook-up or Relationship: a drunken affair then no memory in the mornin, im a classy guy
78. Sweet or Caring: a bit lik the people in miroosh
79. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: i like someone who gets me, and can embrace my drunken abuse and mindless vandalism

Have you ever
80. Kissed a Stranger: too many
81. Had Alcohol: hold on til i ask this back of grey socks, maybe if i