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- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you
- Me, Myself, and I
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.Π. .Π. .Π. .Π. .Π.
R.I.P. Granda Bernard n Granda John ..!!
My Lil Cuz Dat Slipt Away .. R.I.P. Laoise
Mary.. Gone But Never Forgotten .. R.I.P
۩۞۩ WELCOME ۩۞۩
۩۞۩ SHΛИЄ ۩۞۩
← ● ИΛMЄ... SHANE
← ● SЄЄ'S ŦHŖЄW... BŁUЄ EYЄS
← ● FΛV COLOUЯ... ЯЄD
← ● ŁIVЄS IИ... BRAY
★ 10% LUCK
★ 20% SKILL
★ 15% CONCENTRATED POWER OF WILL
★ 5% PLEASURE
★ 50% PAIN
★ 100% REASON TO REMEMBER THE NAME
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Theory Of A Deadman,
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- Ciaraa Was Here.. 24/9/08 [:
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1.Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2.To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3.Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
4.Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5.While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the Doors open.
6.When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
7.Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.
THREE-POINT DARES ***
1.Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2.Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3.Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4.Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
5.Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.
6.Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any P*rnography web sites.
FIVE-POINT DARES *****
1.At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2.Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3.Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
4.In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
5.At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"
6.Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
7.During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
8.As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
9.Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
10.Hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll call you tonight"
1 Comment 345 weeks
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party.
She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good time being spoiled by not going. So he took his costume and away he went.
The wife, after sleeping soundly for one hour, awakened without pain and as it was still early, she decided to go the party.
In as much as her husband did not know what her costume was, she thought she would have some fun by watching her husband to see how he acted when she was not with him.
She joined the party and soon spotted her husband cavorting around on the dance floor, dancing with every nice chick he could, and copping a little feel here and a little kiss there. His wife sidled up to him and being a rather seductive babe herself, he left his partner high and dry and devoted his time to the new stuff that had just arrived.
She let him go as far as he wished; naturally, since he was her husband.
Finally, he whispered a little proposition in her ear and she agreed, so off they went to one of the cars and had a little bang. Just before unmasking at midnight, she slipped away and went home and put the costume away and got into bed, wondering what kind of explanation he would make for his behavior.
She was sitting up reading when he came in and asked what kind of a time he had. He said, "Oh, the same old thing. You know I never have a good time when you're not there."
Then she asked, "Did you dance much?"
He replied, I'll tell you, I never even danced one dance. When I got there, I met Pete, Bill Brown and some other guys, so we went into the den and played poker all evening. But you're not going to believe what happened to the guy I loaned my costume to......."
0 Comments 347 weeks
Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building, when the first man turns to the other and says "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, the winds around the building are so intense that by the time you fall to the 10th floor, they carry you around the building and back into a window". The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.
The second guy says, "What, are you nuts? There's no way that could happen. "No, its true," the first man says. "Let me prove it to you." He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets toward the street below. As he nears the 10th floor, the high winds whip him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.
He meets the second man, who looks quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke." "No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps again. Just as he is hurtling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window. Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it.
"Well, why not." the second guy says, "It works. I'll try it." He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward passes the 11th, 10th 9th, 8th, floors. . . . . and hits the sidewalk with a SPLAT.
Back upstairs the bartender turns to the other drinker and says, "You know Superman, you're a real jerk when you're drunk".
0 Comments 347 weeks
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