Ask yourself: Am I Gay?

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay -- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed. And just think about how you call a dog... "Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!" Now think about how you call a cat..."Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!" Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a "Decaf Soy Latte". If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice cream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a "fressier" is you're gay. And if you can
name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

Love Is ...

Love is the greatest feeling,
Love is like a play,
Love is what I feel for you,
Each and every day,
Love is like a smile,
Love is like a song,
Love is a great emotion,
That keeps us going strong,
I love you with my heart,
My body and my soul,
I love the way I keep loving,
Like a love I can't control,
So remember when your eyes meet mine,
I love you with all my heart,
And I have poured my entire soul into you,
Right from the very start.

100 things about me

1. Full Name:Joshua Neale Coombs
2. Nicknames: coomzy, whitboy, irish
3. Got a bf/gf: no
4. Place of Birth: rosbud (vic)
5. Zodiac Sign: cancer
6. Male or Female: male
7. Grade: 11
8. School: woree
9. Working: yes
10. Residence: Bayview
11. MSN Screen Name: whitboy
12. Hair Color: blonde brown
13. Hair Length: short
14. Eye color: crystal blue (l have pretty eyes)
15. Weight: 65
16. Height: 177

17. Braces?: nope
18. Glasses?: nope
19. Piercings: nope
20. Tattoos: cant wait till i can
21. Righty or Lefty: Right

___Your "Firsts"___

22. First best friend:ayden snedan
23. First Award: A.F.L
24. First Sport:A.F.L
25. First pet: hermit crab
26. First Real Vacation: From vic to gold coast
28. First Actual Love: melaine walker

___ Favorites___

29. Movie: 300
30. TV programme: Heuys Kitchen
31. Color: blue
32. Rapper: Nelly
33. Band: blink 182
34. Song Right Now: lots
35. Friends: People WHo Like Me
36. bestie: theres lots
37. Sport to Play: A.F.L
38. Restuarant: cock and bull
39. Favorite brand: Everlast, nike, assics
40. Store: Ed Harry
41. School Subject: Sport
42. Animal: baby pets like puppies
43. Book: dont read
44. Magazine: car magazines
45. Shoes: brand new ones must be white lots of cushion
46. Feeling: surruonded by hot chicks
47. Single or Taken: single
48. Have a crush: yep
49. Eating: pizza with mates
50. Drinking: nope
51. Typing: yup
52. Online?:yup
53. Listening To: Music
54. Thinking About: Footy, Sex and this chick l like
55. Wanting To: have sex with this chick l like
56. Watching: stuff
57. Wearing: NOTHING mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

___Your Future___

58. Want Kids?: boy n girl
59. Want to be Married?: yea
60. Careers in Mind: A.F.L Player
61. Where do you want to live: somewere quiet
62. Car: Camero

__Which is Better With The Opposite Sex___

63. Hair color: blonde or brown
64. Hair length: shoulder
65. Eye color: light blue or brown
66. Measurments: shorter then me
67. Cute or Sexy: both
68. Lips or Eyes: lips
69. Hugs or Kisses: kisses
70. Short or Tall: in the middle
71. Easygoing or serious: Easy Going
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both
73. Fatty or Skinny: well not anarecsic but still skinny with a bit of meat
74. Sensitive or Loud: both
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: Both
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant : Both

___Have you ever______

78. Kissed a Stranger: yea
80. Smoked: nope
81. Ran Away From Home:nope
82. Broken a bone: yup arms-5 times, ankle-3times, wrist 2times
fingers-too many times, chip my collar bone about 3times
83. Got an X-ray: yup
84. Been with someone: yup
85. Broken Someones Heart: yup
86. Broke Up With Someone: yup
87. Cried When Someone Died: no
88. Cried At School: no

___Do You Believe In___

89. God: Yes
90. Miracles: yes
91. Love At First sight: yes
92. Ghosts: no
93. Aliens: Yes
94. Soul Mates:yup
95. Heaven: yup
96. Hell: not really but i believe there is a darker place besides heaven
97. Angels: Yes
98. Fucking on The First Date: yup
99. Horoscopes: maybe

100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can"t Have? dont now yet