-Jonny: Here Raff you look like a girl with your sleeves like that!
Raff: *huffs and puffs...grumpy voice* You look like a girl!

-Raff:James wat would happen if u stuck an m80 in ur ass
James: I dunno, u probaly wouldn be able to poop for a few years! hilarious!"

-Raff: James wat would happen if we stuck an M80 in that toilet???
James: i dunno....there wud be poop Everywhere i guess!
Funny shit!

-Raff: James you suck at soccer.....
James: Hey....how about u suck some anus!
LMAo James u are hilarious!

-'so Zac... u squirt three things of snowcone warhead into my mouth and ill do it to u too....ok?' 'OK Raf!!' one...two...three...FRIKN WORST IDEA EVER!!!!

-Zac: Raff u have won every limbo thisproject, u are inhuman, im fukn getn pissed
LMAO!!!! YEROOOOO I RULE AT LIMBO!!!

-WE have some very interesting police badges here....WOW WASHINGTON STATE

-YES LADDDDDD......LOVE LIFE??? I LOVE LIFE!!!! I LOVE LIFE.....NO I LOVE YOUR LIFE......I LOVE YOUR LIFE MORE.....I LOVE LIFE....LIFE LIFE LIFEY LIFEY LIFE......I LOVE LIFE!!!!!!! I LOVE LAMP

1, OPENING JARS - She's struggling. You take it from her hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She didn't. Jars are men's work.

2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even saying it to kids makes you the man.

3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Lightweight. A Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning the ball and crippling the man. Magic.

4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it? Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle?

5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving, lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile of other rubbish - noisy destruction.

6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're hard.

7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir paint with.

8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt?". "Nah".

9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When girls have been partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of your hardness sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look like.

10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes for you to share the unspoken bond: "We've not seen eye to eye in the past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the 'em in line".

11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling? Superb.

12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g! Stitch that, Becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.

13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are drunk, however, the rest of the pub doesn't know that.

14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue, apparently. Brilliant, pass the pork scratchings.

15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast man?" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing?" to the women. Congratulations, you are now your dad.

16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?

17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.

18, TAKING OUT £200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.

19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike girls, we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red Lion? George, it is then. Seven. See ya."

20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. First time. Can Schumacher do that? No, because his car's got no reverse gear which, technically, makes you the world's best driver.

21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.

22, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "A Phillips? For that? Are you mad woman?"

23, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says that's right, I'm going in there and I may be some time.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing

5. When you go to a new question, press the next button



Opening Credits:
Timbaland & Keri Hilson - The Way I Are

Waking Up:
Aveneged Sevenfold - Gunslinger

First Day at School:
Kanye West - Coldest Winter

Falling In Love:
Jimi Hendrix - Angel

Fight Song:
Muse - Shrinking Univere

Breaking Up:
Muse - Take a Bow

Prom:
Kanye West - Love Lockdown

Life:
Slipknot - Dead Memories

Mental Breakdown:
Linkin Park - In The End

Driving:
Justin Timberlake - Summer Love

Flashback:
Within Temptation - Memories

Getting Back Together:
Angels and Airwaves - Call To Arms

Wedding:
Paramore - Pressure

Birth of a Child:
Eric Clapton - Layla

Final Battle:
Snow Patrol - Take Back the City

Death Scene:
Muse - Stockholm Syndrome

Funeral Song:
Daughtry - Its Not Over

End Credits:
Muse - Bliss