Google won't search for Chuck Norris because it knows you don't find Chuck
Norris, he finds you.

Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.

Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane
and punched the ground.

It is scientifically impossible for Chuck Norris to have had a mortal
father. The most popular theory is that he went back in time and fathered
himself.

Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because Chuck Norris only
recognizes the element of surprise.

It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if
you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.

Chuck Norris shot the sheriff, but he round house kicked the deputy.

That's not Chuck Norris doing push-ups -- that's Chuck Norris moving the
Earth away from the path of a deadly asteroid.

Chuck Norris can judge a book by its cover.

Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris eats black holes. They taste like chicken.

Chuck Norris does not play the lottery. It doesn't have nearly enough balls.

Q: How many Chuck Norris' does it take to change a light bulb? A: None,
Chuck Norris prefers to kill in the dark.

As President Roosevelt said: "We have nothing to fear but fear itself. And
Chuck Norris."

Chuck Norris just says "no" to drugs. If he said "yes", it would collapse
Colombia's infrastructure.

Since 1940, the year Chuck Norris was born, roundhouse-kick related deaths
have increased 13,000 percent.

Crime does not pay - unless you are an undertaker following Walker, Texas
Ranger, on a routine patrol.

Chuck Norris invented the internet… just so he had a place to store his
porn.

Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people
move.

It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck
Norris roundhouse kick.

Chuck Norris is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray
Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time.

Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs
toothpicks.

Chuck Norris smells what the Rock is cooking... because the Rock is Chuck
Norris' personal chef.

When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail, his family does not die from cholera
or dysentery, but rather, roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no
wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He
always makes it to Oregon before you.

Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.

"Brokeback Mountain" is not just a movie. It's also what Chuck Norris calls
the pile of dead ninjas in his front yard.

When God said, "let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say 'please'."

Chuck Norris does not eat. Food understands that the only safe haven from
Chuck Norris' fists is inside his own body.

One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a massive erection. There
were no survivors.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK
assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard,
deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the
information he wants.

Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the
dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn.
Every time he tries, the whole damn barn falls down.

Before each filming of Walker: Texas Ranger, Chuck Norris is injected with
fourteen times the lethal dose of elephant tranquilzer. This is, of course,
to limit his strength and mobility, in an attempt to lower the fatality rate
of the actors he fights.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad,
he turns into Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris kills anyone that asks, "You want fries with that"

2. Are we friends?........
3. When and how did we meet?........
4. Do you hav a crush on me?.........
5. Have you ever wanted to punch me?........
6. Give me a nikname and explain why?........
7. Describe me in 1 word........
8. what was ur first impression ov me?.......
9. do u still fink the same?......
10. What reminds u ov me?.....
11. If you could giv me anything wot wod it b?......
12. How well do u no me?......
13. Whens the last tym u saw me?.....
14. Eva wanted 2 tell me sumthing u couldnt?......
15. Are you goin 2 put dis on ur blog and c wot i say about u?.